Getting Back to Azkaban
by fragonknight01
Summary: The summer Harry turned 16 was quite educational.  The family was really nothing like he thought and when he took up his titles and assumed his duties as Head of House things just became surreal...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimers: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe and no money is being made from this story.

* * *

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N # 1: Obviously I write AU. If you want canon turn back now because you are going to be severely disappointed.

Chapter 1: Gringotts sent a letter

Harry Potter was the most famous wizard in Britain. Some would argue that he might even be the most famous in the world, but that was only if you counted live ones because Merlin was surely the greatest. He was undeniably the most famous school boy; he knew this for a fact because the headmaster of his school set guards around his house twenty-four hours a day all summer long if he was in residence at his house.

His Aunt Petunia said the guards had actually been there a few weeks already before he showed up and she was getting mightily annoyed at the snoopy bastards. They were not actually of any use to her that she could figure. They were just there; always watching and reporting back to someone else, presumably Albus Dumbledore.

When Dumbledore showed up at the house a week before Harry's birthday and informed Aunt Petunia that he would prefer that she not contact Gringotts she saw red; red to the point that she punched the old geezer in the nose and then told him to get out of her house and never return. Dumbledore refused to listen to her and then had the audacity to demand she give him the letter that Hedwig had delivered to her. That had been the last time Dumbledore ever made the mistake of thinking that muggles were not dangerous.

Petunia's eyes had flashed fire just before she turned to her son, Dudley, who was standing there listening to the confrontation. All she said was, "Son!"

Dudley had done some serious life changes since his encounter with the dementors last summer, but he did not hesitate to protect his mother when she asked. Dudley simply took one nice punch to the old man's jaw and when he crumpled. Dudley then scooped him up, took him outside, and dropped him beside the invisible, lurking order member. "You all need to take the old man back to where he came from. We don't want him here threatening us."

The order member, one Mundangus Fletcher, not knowing what else to do scooped the old man up and took him back to headquarters. By the time Poppy had been called, Dumbledore's nose fixed, and the Order appraised of the situation, Petunia had read the response to the message she had sent earlier and disposed of the evidence before they could get their hands on it.

A week later, Harry shook his head in confusion as he stared at the creature known to the rest of the world to as 'Aunt Petunia'. "I do not believe I heard you correctly just now." He snarled.

"You heard me just fine, boy." She replied.

"No, I don't believe I did hear you correctly. You distinctly said, and I quote: You need to get cleaned up so that we can go to London for the reading of Sirius Black's will."

"Get your arse upstairs and prepare to attend the reading. I will be going as your legal guardian and to sign the papers for your emancipation." She glared at Harry who had been reduced to gaping at her. Finally she lost her temper and roared, "MOVE!"

It did not take Harry long to use the shower and return to his room. He was surprised to find that Aunt Petunia had left clothes out for him, and then squawked indigently when he realized that the pile was actually girls' clothing. "Aunt Petunia, are you sure that you want me to wear this pile you put on my bed? They look like something Dudley's girlfriend brought over and forgot."

"Yes, and yes! Now get dressed and get in here!" Petunia's voice was coming from her bedroom.

Harry just knew that whatever she had planned was not going to be good for him. At the least it was going to be embarrassing. The worst case scenario would see him chained to the dungeon walls in one of Voldemort's prisons. But, best he get this over with so he sucked up his pride, dulled down his reservations, and strode zombie-like into Aunt Petunia's boudoir.

Screaming and crying had been beaten out of Harry Potter at a young age. Therefore, when Petunia ordered him to sit at her dressing table he did so with no argument. Ten minutes later when Petunia ordered him to look in the mirror he did so with not so much as a sigh of resignation.

He was surprised to see a pretty face that he did not recognize staring back at him from the mirror. He was even more surprised when one of Petunia's blond wigs was eased over his head and adjusted. If that was all it took for he to become a she, Harry Potter had the makings of a damn fine transvestite.

Petunia told him to stand and looked at him from different angles. "Thank God that you are slender enough not to have a pronounced waistline or we could never get away with this. Now pull up your shirt while I put this on you.

Harry paled significantly under the makeup as Petunia pulled a soft form bra out of a bag and approached him with a look of determination. The only protest he offered was a rather strangled, "Why?" as he obediently pulled the jumper up.

Petunia found that she could not be completely heartless when dealing with her own son. The look of humiliation on his face was just too much for her to endure without feeling some remorse. "Harry, I have several million good reasons for doing this and while most of them are in the bank, I do have other valid reasons for smuggling you out of this house."

Harry gave a curt nod and uttered a long drawn out, "OOOOKayyyy."

She slapped him upside the head. "There is no need to be facetious. I promise that as soon as we get to a safe place I will give you all the information at my disposal."

Harry glared at her.

She returned his glare with little humor. "Trust me when I say I have a lot of information."

Mundangus Fletcher is usually the guilty party when one of the Order's plans goes tits up. Today, however, it was Kingsley Shackelbolt who was on duty when Petunia and Dudley's girlfriend waltzed out the front door and walked down the street talking about Dudley's last prize fight.

Shackelbolt was standing downwind of the ladies and all he could smell was an overwhelming scent of 'Joy'. Not that he knew the name of the perfume; it was just that it was very enticing on the ladies. And, after standing guard duty several times he was pleased to finally see the girl whom most of the masculine order members spoke of in tones of awe and reverence. He could not, for the life of him, figure out what the beautiful girl could want from Dudley Dursley.

He had no way of knowing that the girl he thought he was looking at was in fact an aspiring actress who had been paid rather handsomely by Petunia to date Dudley and make a few appearances at the house. That same girl was currently on her way to Hollywood, California, for a screen test since she did an excellent job for Petunia and had been rewarded with a twenty thousand pound bonus to leave the country before people could find her and try to kill her.

Petunia and Harry, who was now dressed up as Gloria, were currently making their way to the bus station so that they could catch the connecting train to London. Petunia visibly relaxed the further away from Privet Drive they got.

By the time they got to London they no longer looked like blondes. They had sat in a car where a company of theater/dance students were, and Petunia had started up a conversation with one of the instructors whom she had recognized from when she was a child taking dance.

Petunia had introduced Gloria to her friend and asked about some of the changes that had occurred since they competed. The other lady saw it as a chance to demonstrate some new techniques to her own girls and had used first Gloria and then Petunia to demonstrate how to use makeup to change a girl's appearance.

In London they took the tube to the nearest station to the **Leaky Cauldron **on Charing Cross Road. Petunia literally waltzed up to the entrance to the pub and opened it before Harry could get his bearings. "Get in here, Gloria! You don't want the wrong sort to see us come in here." She snapped.

"Yes, Mummy. Sorry!" He tilted his head and pouted at her. "It's just that you don't let me…"

"Hush, girl. It is enough that I let you go to that bookstore and coffee shop."

Most of the patrons of the Leaky Cauldron had heard that argument from a dozen witches a day for several years. It was one of those things that held little appeal so they went back to what they were doing before the door opened.

Harry watched in total fascination as Petunia used her ring to tap the bricks. He was even more surprised when the archway opened and she smirked at him. "Coming, dear, or are you going to stand there all day and play goldfish?"

He hurried through the portal and sighed unhappily as she reached over and took him by the hand. "Let's just get to Gringotts so we can get the business done. We are already pushing our luck that those two were not home and we managed to get away today."


	2. Back in Black!

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N # 1: Obviously I write AU. If you want canon turn back now because you are going to be severely disappointed.

A/N#2: I appreciate you helping with fixing errors and asking questions. And we now have the _anonymous_ review filter turned off. I will attempt to remain nice.

* * *

Chapter 2: Back in Black!

Sirius Black's will did not take long to read. Everything was in order the way Sirius and the marauders had planned several years ago. Harry inherited the title Baron Black along with all the other assets. He was also left the option to sign the paperwork Sirius had filled out earlier for him so that he could become an emancipated minor.

After all the paperwork involving Harry had been dealt with, he was surprised that Petunia had been asked to sign for a small box which she would need to go through before she left the bank. It had been strange watching her almost physically change there before his eyes as she drank a memory restorative potion then removed her wedding rings from Vernon.

Once Petunia had regained her equilibrium she was once again back to being her usual pushy, overbearing self. She rose, bid the goblin who had read the will good day, and beckoned imperiously for Harry to follow her.

On the main floor of the bank things went as smoothly as the rest of the day had. Petunia approached a goblin who was working the inheritance desk and as she asked that an inheritance ritual be scheduled for her 'daughter' she casually rested her hand on the counter where he could see the glamoured ring she was wearing.

The goblin, an older sort who had worked his way up from teller some century ago, nodded and wrote out a request form which he summoned a runner to come forward and handle. He then led the two of them to a small, but stylish, waiting room and summoned tea for them while the account managers for the Azkaban Family and the Inheritance Department could be rounded up and sent up to meet with them.

Harry thought it was amazing to watch Petunia interact with the different factions of the wizarding world. She knew her way around, and while she was polite and respectful, she also commanded a respect of her own that others seemed to instinctually bow to.

The Azkaban Trust goblin was the first one to appear. He entered the room and immediately began bowing and babbling about how wonderful it was for Lady Azkaban to honor Gringotts with her presence. Harry blinked a few times as he considered the fact that most of the goblins he dealt with up on the floor were dour and staid. This goblin was definitely at odds with his view of the world.

After some few minutes of the two exchanging pleasantries the goblin finally calmed down and asked her what the goblin nation could do for her.

Petunia smiled warmly at the goblin and dropped one bomb shell after another as she began clarifying the mystery behind the two of them sneaking into Gringotts dressed in disguise. Harry's head was reeling by the time she finished her first set of explanations.

"The Goblin Nation already knows most of the history behind why Azkaban has been absent from his ancestral lands, Grimtooth."

The goblin inclined his head in acknowledgment. "Indeed we do, Lady Azkaban. It was the Goblin nation who put your disguise in place."

"You did indeed. And I thank you for all your aid. But, it is time for me to break my silence to my companion here and I have come to you for help with some of the explanations."

The goblin turned and bowed to Harry and spoke. "It is an honor to aid the House of Azkaban. It has been the honor of my family for several generations. Whatever Lady Azkaban needs help with, we, the goblins at Gringotts London, and almost everywhere worldwide, strive to lend assistance because when the House Azkaban prospers, peace and prosperity follows and spills over to the rest of the magical world."

Harry just gave him a wide-eyed nod and continued to stare at Petunia, whom he was sure was not Aunt Petunia at all, but some alien sent to replace her while Vernon and Dudley were not available to file a missing persons report.

Petunia decided that just spitting out the facts would be a good way to start. "I have not always been aware that you are my son. I was memory charmed right after your birth and the idea was planted that my child had died. A few weeks after your birth I wound up married to Vernon Dursley and caring for his child brought me back from the depths of depression. I became aware of who you really were for the second time in my life just a few days ago when Grimtooth finally got a message to me."

"And just who am I?" Harry was fighting tears as he choked that question out from a closed up throat.

Your real name is Harold Sothis Black and you are the 43rd Magical Duke of Azkaban. I am your birth mother and your biological father was Regulus Arcturus Black."

Harry blinked a few times but otherwise seemed to be in shock. Thoughts of Lily and James Potter sacrificing themselves for a child who did not even belong to them flittered through his brain.

Petunia gave him a few minutes to process that bomb then dropped the next one. "The reason you are the Duke of Azkaban is because the Evans family is not muggle. The image of being muggle was carefully cultivated because the last Lord of Azkaban was brutally murdered by that trumped up idiot who calls himself Lord Voldemort back in the early 1970's."

"Why did Voldemort kill him?"

Petunia made an ugly face as she scrunched up her nose. It was a face that Harry was familiar with and meant that she really did not want to talk about it. He was surprised though when she answered him, "Voldemort found out that Grandmother Merope had suffered for years with mental problems and probably concluded that she had committed suicide. At the very least he blamed it on Grandpa Leo."

"Was it his fault?"

"You will have to read the journals kept by both of them to determine that. Somehow I don't think so though. Grandpa always spoke kindly of Grandma Merope and I always got the impression that they were good friends. I overheard him tell mummy once that he missed her even after all the years that had passed since she died."

"OK." Harry said as he shrugged. "I have just been told that the 42nd Duke of Azkaban married the revoltingly ugly Merope Gaunt and produced a child with her. That child is my grandmother. This also means that Tom Marvolo Riddle is in fact my grand-uncle." His voice trailed off for a second before he spoke again. "If Riddle Senior married Merope Gaunt and produced Tommy boy, was Azkaban's marriage to her even legal since Tommy did not kill Riddle Sr. until sometime in 1946?"

Petunia shrugged. "No one in the magical world cares too terribly much whether someone was married according to the civil laws of Great Britain. Grandfather and Merope formed a bond at some point in their relationship and it was recognized by magic as a matrimonial bond. We know this because when they had their daughter the birth certificate parchment completed itself when three drops of the baby's blood was placed on the parchment to indicate her status."

Harry was starting to become fascinated. "Why three drops from the baby?"

Petunia smiled at him. "It does not matter how old a person is when they donate the three drops of blood to the parchment. The first drop is placed in the child's box, the second in the mother's box, and the third is for the father. The magic which forms the child will list the child's name as stated by the parent or the attending physician and then it will list the parents without ever having been told their names."

"And the magic knows what the relationship between the parents is?"

She nodded. "Yes. When you were born the parchment stated that your father and I had been properly married according to the Laws of Magic and the Anglican Church. Your certificate also states that your father died some six months before you were born."

The reality of his life was catching up with him. "Why did you treat me so badly most of the time while I was young if I am really your son?" was asked in an almost choked whisper.

Petunia closed her eyes and blinked back some tears. "I know that I treated you badly most of your life, Harry. Most of it I have no excuse for. I honestly do not know why. I have been under a heavy memory charm that did not start lifting until just after my wedding anniversary to Vernon this spring. I did not remember that you were my son, but that does not account for why I actively persecuted you. There is something else at work with us and eventually I hope we can sort it out. The only answer I can give you right now though is that I do not know."

That seemed to help rather more than some of the declarations of honor that Harry had been hearing lately from the people in his life so he blinked the moisture from his eyes and continued to pay attention to Petunia and Grimtooth. This day just kept getting better and better, and he would not be surprised if he did not break down and bawl his eyes out at least once before the shocks stopped rocking his system. He had not wanted to cry in ages and now all he seemed capable of was barely holding in the pain and anger of his predicament.

Grimtooth took over for Petunia in order to give her a chance to get her own emotions under control. "Lord Azkaban, I have brought some of the diaries left in my care up from the Azkaban vault for you to read at your leisure. In the meantime please permit me to continue the explanations of who and what you are, if I may?"

"You may call me Harry, Sir. I would like to hear more of my family history if you don't mind."

Grimtooth began speaking. "I first became acquainted with your great-grandfather, the 42nd Magical Duke of Azkaban when he was brought to the bank to be tested by his mother, Lady Aziza Grindelwald a year or so after he was born. He cocked his head in thought for a few seconds then added, "That would have been sometime around 1900 or 01. Although he was an extremely talented young boy he did not have the gift of parseltongue."

He took a sip from a strange looking cup that appeared to be smoking before continuing. "I was informed that there is a curse on the Island of Azkaban, the specifics of which I do not know; only that it involves a cursed pool and dementors. Only the rightful heir may break the curse and he has to be able to speak parseltongue to cast the counter-curse."

Petunia watched as the emotions flittered across Harry's face. The information he was being told was a lot to take in. He already looked so lost, and they had not even got to the part where he was known as Harry James Potter. She reckoned she had better start explaining what had happened at the time of his birth so that he would hopefully be more accepting of his situation.

"Needless-to-say, Harry, when you were born your great-grandfather Black was beyond ecstatic. He just knew that with you being the 43rd Duke, being a parseltongue, and having several other traits that you were the one who would fix the problems created by Salazar Slytherin, 17th Duke of Azkaban."

Harry's eyes were almost as wide as a house elf's. "What other surprises are in store for me, Petunia? I have now been told I am related to Salazar Slytherin on both my mother's and father's sides of the family, I am of the Ancient and Noble House of Black, Tom Riddle is my uncle… Next you are going to say that I am a descendent of Merlin."

Petunia giggled as the goblin grinned at him. It was such a scary sight that Harry squawked and began chanting, "No, No, No!"

Grimtooth finally got himself under control. "Actually, if I remember correctly, your family name is Pendragon. That would make you a relative of Arthur Pendragon, or King Arthur, rather than Merlin. Of course, according to certain historical treatises Merlin is actually Arthur's cousin so that would make you related to him. That is if you believe that Merlin's father was actually human. Rumors were bandied about that Merlin's mother had mated witht a demon, but most historians think she said that to protect his identity. If so, the first choice of a human father would have been Uther Pendragon's older brother."

Harry was starting to have information overload. "Yeah, well, about that… Maybe you should just tell me how it is that I am actually the son of Regulus Black and not the son of James Potter like I have always been told." He glared at Petunia as he finished speaking.

Petunia did not seem too terribly upset at him glaring. She was actually thrilled that he was not screaming and clawing at the door to escape already. "As you know, I was born in 1957 and two years later Lily was born. Lily's magical core was actually a bit more unstable than mine and she showed magic relatively early. I had been a very content baby and did not have any accidental magic episodes until several months after Lily did."

Harry calmed down and began listening again. As Petunia spoke he found himself sinking back in the chair, tea in one hand, and steak sandwich in the other.

She continued, "Grandfather Pendragon, whom I called Grandpa Leo, soon saw the benefit to this and convinced mummy and daddy to pretend that I was a squib while Lily went off to Hogwarts. Grandpa taught me everything he could and I took my OWLs and NEWTs under the name of Petunia Marie Pendragon rather than Evans because he had named me his heir."

Petunia eventually forgot that Harry and Grimtooth were even in the room as she relived her youth. "I learned early on that I had responsibilities as the Heiress of Azkaban. Somehow I was betrothed to Regulus Black although he was some five years younger than me. After meeting each other though, it was not a problem. We got along just fine. We were married over Christmas of 1978 although he had not yet graduated."

"The war was starting to get out of hand though, and grandpa and Lord Black both thought it would be a good idea if we fulfilled the contract. Regulus was a teenager interested in sex, I was barely out of my teens and curious as well. Without the glamours that you see right now, I was much better looking. Anyway, we found each other physically appealing so we did not argue with the elders."

She bestowed a misty smile on Harry before continuing. "As it turned out, it was just as well that we married earlier than the contract required. When Regulus went to his death that December day in 1979, he was content to know he was leaving behind an heir to Azkaban to carry on."

Grimtooth slipped some more food on Harry's plate as the boy stared off into space. It was always a good policy to keep a high powered wizard calm. One of the easiest ways to keep one calm was to make sure he was fed.

Petunia indicated her approval of his subterfuge and got back to the subject. "Sirius Orion Black had been grandpa's original choice for a spouse but old Lord Black wanted him to inherit his own family title. Regulus was seen as the spare and the marriage settlement made to the House of Black for him to be my consort was a very lucrative one. He would become the 43rd Duke upon the death of grandpa and that was quite a coup for the Blacks because it would add another major title to their already vast holdings."

"Somewhere in the contract there were several contingency plans put in place to protect any child born of our union. Sirius and Regulus really were very close and got along quite well. You will have heard of Sirius moving out of the family home the summer he turned sixteen, yes?"

Harry nodded since he had a mouth full of food.

"James Potter had decided as far back as their fourth year that he was in love with Lily. Having been privy to most of the secrets between the Blacks and Pendragons because of Sirius, it was of little consequence for him to get the approval of his family to wed her. He merely arranged for Sirius to speak to his father regarding Lily's true family connections. In the meantime, he and Sirius had graduated from school and began training and working as aurors while doing their best to protect Regulus and me from the madness being created by Voldemort."

Harry did want to know about Petunia and Regulus. But the original question had been 'how did he wind up with James and Lily claiming to be his parents'? So he asked again since it was terribly important to him.

Grimtooth interrupted them, "I can answer that one. Lady Petunia decided to keep her identity in the wizarding world secret as she could and had delivered you at Mother of Mercy Hospital because it was the closest hospital around. Dumbledore showed up and memory charmed Petunia to think the baby was dead, and then he charmed Lily and James to think that you belonged to them. Muggle birth certificates will say anything that a person types on the paper, so all he had to do was say the baby was theirs."

Petunia reached an unsteady hand out and touched Harry's face. "I am sorry for treating you so badly the last fifteen years. Please think about forgiving me and let me have the chance to make up for being so unkind."

Harry just shrugged, "Yeah, well…."

Grimtooth coughed delicately and nodded toward the clock in the corner to indicate that Petunia needed to cut their chat short. Their meeting had begun to extend past the time when Petunia told him she needed to wrap things up at the bank.

Petunia took the hint and stood up. "Oh my! Look at the time, Harry. We need to be getting back to Privet Drive before Vernon and Dudley get back from that tournament."

Harry blinked and looked at the clock. "How are we going to get back to Little Winging before seven o'clock? If that time piece is correct, it is now gone five-fifteen."

She smirked. "I side-along apparate you into the bathroom at Budgeons supermarket and we walk back to the house."

"What about our makeup?"

"Well, Gloria, if anyone asks us then we say that we had a girls' day out and our make-overs were part of it."

Gringotts let the ladies use the apparition room and the trip home went smoothly. By the time Vernon and Dudley carried their bags and trophies in, dinner was on the table. They found Petunia resting on the couch with a glass of wine waiting on dinner, and Harry was back in his own skin while putting the finishing touches on the leg of lamb that was done to perfection.


	3. Chocolates or Malfoys?

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N # 1: Obviously I write AU. If you want canon turn back now because you are going to be severely disappointed. And, yes. JKR still makes all the money...

A/N#2: I appreciate you helping with fixing errors and asking questions.

* * *

Chapter 3: Chocolates or Malfoys?

Change in the Dursley household had been brewing for several months. Vernon had felt the shift the day he had brought home a huge box of chocolates for Petunia for their sixteenth anniversary. He knew he had made a mistake the second he gave her the box and watched her unwrap it to expose candy.

It broke his heart to see her blue eyes swimming in tears as she choked out, "Chocolates again?"

The big man had knelt in front of her and took her hands in his. "Darling, the chocolates are only one of your presents. I wanted to surprise you with a weekend get-away, just the two of us. And, I want you to pick the location."

She leaned forward and gave him a small kiss on the lips. "I am sorry, dear. I do adore the chocolates you bring me! I am just out of sorts lately. I worry about all of us not eating properly, and that letter from Duddy's school nurse really has me on edge."

Vernon rose from the rug. "Come on, luv. Let me take you out to lunch and we can catch a movie then. That will be something different. I might even help you pick out a few new bits for our weekend, hum?"

Petunia knew she would have to accept the fact that Vernon equated food with love and for him to bring her chocolates meant that she was loved. She was also so angry with him regarding the huge box of sweets that she dumped the whole lot of them down the garbage disposal the minute he was not looking.

The next morning she had caught Vernon looking at the box and realized there was something off about the thing when he had asked in a rather concerned voice, "You will eat the chocolates won't you, dear?"

She had smiled at him and cooed. "They are perfect, dear. I have had a few already, but I was so worried that with Dudley coming home for summer break soon that I tipped them into a plastic container and have hidden them in the freezer so that he will not get into them."

Vernon gave her a pleased smile and blustered, "Good! Good! Go ahead and try to keep Dudley and the boy on a diet and while I am out today I will check into the exercise facilities. Maybe we can get a package deal for the three of us at the new sports complex. I know they have a pool and it could be a good place to start since I know that you love the water and we can spend time together there."

* * *

"Petunia, I found out how Vernon wound up with the last name Dursley. I have been reading your mother's diary and it says that Grandpa Leo not only taught her about the Wizarding world, he told her that most of the wizards were unscrupulous and that she needed to keep a diary on a daily basis where she should write down what happened each day because wizards had no problem with _obliviating_ squibs as well as muggles on a regular basis."

Petunia stopped chopping carrots for the stew and listened to Harry.

" It says here the Grandpa Leo told her that although Albus Dumbledore was seen as the leader of the light by most folks, he was not sure that he really was a light lord because Dumbledore had a history of becoming sexually involved with people just before they met with 'detrimental career choices'. Two examples cited Gellert Grindelwald and Arabella Figg. Grandpa Leo said that Dumbledore used his association with Grindelwald to defeat him. Arabella Figg was supposedly an up-and-coming Potions Mistress with the world as her oyster before she made the mistake of cheating on her husband with Dumbledore and bearing him a child. It says that her husband demanded restitution in the form of both Arabella and Vernon having their magic bound and the two of them removed from the family."

Petunia looked at Harry dumbfounded. "Vernon is a magical with his core bound? Something else is wrong there because only the Wizengamot is allowed to bind a person's core. And, they can only bind a core if the person used an unforgiveable under extenuating circumstances and the person did not warrant going to Azkaban Prison for the offense." She sat down at the table and began to mutter to herself. "Harry, bring me my writing tablet. I want to write down all the facts as we know them and try to figure this out."

Harry did not bring her the notepad. He brought her one of Dudley's laptops. "Here, I figure that you will be able to type faster than you can write stuff down. Besides, if you store it in a file with password protection then neither Vernon nor Dudley can find it lying around."

Petunia eyed the boy carefully before giving him a curt nod of approval.

"Do you want to start typing out what you know, or do you want me give you my thoughts?"

It did not take long for Petunia to set the file up. She considered Harry's question and decided to let him speak first. "Tell me what your thoughts are. Maybe we know some of the answers and can work from that point."

"How do Dudley and Marge fit into this? Who is Marge Dursley really? And, how does Dudley fit into this family since I am your only child? Where did he come from?"

Petunia almost passed out from shock. "I had not even thought about those two and how they fit into this family. There is no other way to do it, Harry, we have got to contact Gringotts and have Grimtooth send us some birth registration parchment. Somehow we have to find out who they are before we can start on some of the other questions and if they are magical then that will be easiest place to start."

"What questions do you think we need to work on besides Marge and Dudley?" He asked rather timidly.

"I need to know why Vernon felt it was necessary to poison me for sixteen years with drugged chocolates. What is he hiding that is so important that he would risk going to prison for?"

Harry looked at her strangely. "Petunia, if there is one thing I am sure of it is that Vernon Dursley loves you. He may have brought you chocolates for sixteen years, but it was not to poison you. Maybe he is risking prison to keep you."

Petunia gave Harry a soft smile. "Thank you, Harry. That was a very nice thing to say. Not very helpful, but nice."

* * *

It did not take Grimtooth long to send the birth registration forms to Petunia. He simply had one of the house elves that worked at Gringotts pop 'round to St. Mungo's and lift a ream of them while no one was in the store room to tell him he could not take them.

It actually took Harry longer to get the requisite blood from Dudley without arousing suspicion than it did for the parchments to arrive courtesy of Grimtooth. "This parchment says that Dudley's real name is Abraxis Orion Malfoy." Petunia stared in wonder at the parchment as long forgotten memories swirled around in her brain. "Damn! I should have remembered that about this ages ago. Of course Dudley would be the missing Malfoy child. He is over a month older than you are. He is blond, a glutton, a bully, and relatively stupid."

Harry smirked. "Sounds like a typical Malfoy to me."

"Shut up and try to figure out where Marge fits into all of this."

"Maybe it is as simple as her being the actual child of Mr. and Mrs. Dursley and Vernon might have been dumped on the family."

This time Petunia smirked. "Figures that he would be the cuckoo in the nest, doesn't it?"

"Is there any way we could check?"

She thought about it for a bit then spoke as she typed. The file was now huge. It was organized into different subjects, with each subject having several questions listed under each heading. Most of the questions did not have answers although wild guesses, and valid hypotheses were listed.

"I did not meet Vernon's mother and father. They supposedly both died a few months before we married. If he was raised by Arabella, as I suspect he was, then that would explain why he could not let me meet her. If that assumption is correct then it is feasible that Dumbledore himself was the father figure even if he was absent from the family often.


	4. Talk to Marge

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N # 1: Obviously I write AU. If you want canon turn back now because you are going to be severely disappointed. And, yes. JKR still makes all the money...

A/N#2: I appreciate you helping with fixing errors and asking questions.

* * *

Chapter 4: Talk to Marge

Petunia sat across from Harry at the table as they discussed various issues regarding Azkaban, Harry's inheritance, and random thoughts as they registered. They actually had a serious discussion regarding what it was they wanted to know about Marge Dursley.

It was only necessary to figure out who she was and how she got there Petunia decided. The easiest way to get Marge to cooperate with her was to pretend that it was a new game rather like Ouija. She waited until Vernon and Dudley had gone out before introducing the concept to her. It had been amusing to watch Marge as Petunia made up rules of the game.

Petunia was giggling madly as she explained to Marge that she had seen the parchments in a New Age shop and thought that they could try them together, sort of like the time they had gone to the fortune teller when they were on vacation in Swansea, Wales a few years back.

Marge was a real trooper about the game. She giggled like a little girl as she cleaned her finger with an alcohol pad before jabbing it with a needle. "This reminds me of when I was a young teenager," she breathlessly informed Petunia. "My friend Drusilla Rossiter and I got in so much trouble because we wanted pierced ears and neither my mama nor Dru's mama would let us. So we used a needle and an ice chip."

The three drops of blood in the appropriate places and both women sat there stunned to see the certificate morph from "_Registration of Birth_" to "_Duplicate Registration of Birth". _Marge could not help the feeling of fear and helplessness that came over her as she watched that parchment become covered with writing. She did not realize that she was clutching Petunia's hand, or that she had stopped breathing even. Her eyes were firmly glued to the sheet of parchment being created right before her very eyes.

Petunia felt a stab of fear at Marge's reaction. "Marge," she asked, "are you OK? If this is bothering you then we need to quit playing."

Marge turned bright eyes to her. "Petunia, you have no idea what it is you have just done for me. I have spent the last fifteen years trying to figure out why I had big gaps in my memory and the second I saw the name Celestia Jade Rockwood it felt like someone had turned on a light in my brain."

"What do you mean, Marge?"

Marge's clutch on Petunia's hand eased up a bit. "No, nothing bad, Petty. It is just that I have always known there was something wrong with me and I let it turn me into a bitter, miserable old woman long before my time." Tears glinted in her eyes and she reached across the table to swipe a tissue from the box. "Petty, I have so much to tell you!"

Petunia leaned back against her chair but continued to hold Marge's hand gently. "Would you like a nice fresh cup of tea while you talk to me?"

Marge nodded and took a deep breath. She repeated the sequence a few more times before straightening her shoulders and admitting sheepishly that she started attending a workshop for stress relief and that deep breathing and 'centering' were really starting to help her focus and control her emotions better.

"Why did you decide to do the workshop?" Petunia was curious.

Marge maintained her calm as she explained, "I realized that I was, and still am to a certain degree, overwhelmingly frustrated with my life. I was actually worried that I might hurt one of my dogs if I did not learn to deal with my issues." Her mind drifted back to some of the issues that had been causing her anxiety and frustration.

_All her life being strange was not an exaggeration. No, because odd things had happened for as far back as she could remember. There were the times she felt herself leave her body and leave the room as a 'transparent' Marge who was capable of opening and closing doors in that form. She actually remembered hiding from her neighbor, Colonel Furbisher, once when he stood outside her sitting room window and peered into the house to see what was happening._

_Then there was the reality of trying the Anglican faith and knowing that while the pomp and ritual satisfied some longing ache in her soul, it did not exactly fill the void as what she either wanted or needed._

_Somewhere along the path called life, she wandered over along the side of what was a dirt road and sat down to smell the flowers. She must have fallen asleep and woke up much later in the afternoon that she had wanted to._

Petunia recognized the fact that Marge was thinking of something else and her attention was no longer on the conversation so she waited until Marge regained her concentration_. _"That makes a lot of sense, Marge. I am really impressed." Strangely enough, Petunia was completely sincere.

Marge thanked her before getting back to the business of the paper. "Petunia, I don't know how you got hold of this paper, but I am willing to lay bets on the fact that you were not supposed to."

"Why?" She intended to say more but saw Harry peeking around the corner. Before he could disappear she beckoned him into the room. "Boy, I want you to grab a ten pound note and head down to the fish and chips shop. Vernon and Dudley will not be home until late and they will stop and grab something to eat at dinner time so you need only buy three portions."

He flashed her a smile before dodging out the door with the money.

Petunia turned back to Marge. "Sorry, I figured that if you wanted to talk that you would be more comfortable without him in the house. He should be gone for at least twenty minutes."

Marge did not comment on Harry. She simply chose to open the discussion from a completely different angle. "Petunia, I have heard you and Vernon rage about 'magic' to Harry on several occasions. Is it because you know about magic and don't want him to find out?"

Petunia knew that the discussion had really started. "Yes, we did know about magic. My sister, Lily, and her husband, James, were both recognized figures in the Wizarding world. We did not like magic and wanted Harry to be a normal child like Dudley. I have since learned the error of my ways. There is no such thing as normal because Dudley is also a wizard, only he has had his core tampered with and now may never be able to wield magic properly."

Marge nodded her head. "As I stated earlier, the second I saw the name Celestia Jade Rockwood I remembered that that is my real name. I come from a tenth generation pureblood family, and I am only slightly more powerful than a squib. My magic is more of a strong gift than actual magic; it tends to manifest in the field of animal husbandry. I can unerringly assess an animal's strengths and weaknesses which is why I am rather sought after as a judge at breeding shows."

She then looked up at Petunia and squeezed her hand gently before adding, "And I know that Dudley is my biological son." then looked back down so that she did not have to watch the emotions flitting across Petunia's face at the drop of that particular bombshell.

It was Petunia's turn to be understanding. "Yes, he is your son. You and Lucius Malfoy created a beautiful child and I appreciate every minute of his life that you let me have."

"You are not worried that I would take him back?"

Petunia grinned, "You don't want him full time. He is much too spoiled. Now tell me how you came to be part of the muggle world."

Petunia listened while Marge spoke of what it was like when she found out she was pregnant with Lucius Malfoy's child. She managed to tell the story while maintaining an air of dignity. She had been home schooled so she did not have any suitors. When she came of age and had not received any offers for her hand in marriage her father had given her to the Dark Lord for his pleasure. Voldemort had not wanted her either and passed her off to his youth cadre to practice on.

Marge could see that Petunia was beyond appalled at what had happened to her and felt compelled to downplay a lot of what happened. "I was only treated as a play thing for a few months. I must have become pregnant almost immediately, and as soon as I started to show I was returned to my father.

Petunia's face was white and she gripped the edge of the table hard enough to put nail marks in it. "How could your father do such a thing?"

Marge shrugged. "I was not needed in the matrimonial stakes because father already had an heir and a spare plus two daughters who were magically stronger and even prettier than I was. It was exactly the same thing that happened to dozens of other girls during the reign of the Dark Lord."

"You are so accepting of that, Marge. What happened that made you run away?"

Marge actually grinned that time. "My pregnancy was easy and my parents treated me like a goddess for the most part once I was sent home. A paternity test proved that the father of my son was Lucius Malfoy. The Malfoy family even recognized my son and named him themselves. Our lives would have been perfect except my son was born some fifteen minutes before Narcissa delivered her son."

Petunia could not hold back her giggle. "You provided the Malfoy heir and voided the Malfoy-Black wedding contract."

"Yes, but Narcissa was not about to give up the cushy life she had built for herself at Malfoy Manor and she sent one of her house elves to me with a message. Either I would take my child and disappear from the wizarding world until after Draco had been declared the rightful heir, or she would hunt me down and murder my son in my arms if she had to."

Petunia nodded her understanding. "That is when you went to Dumbledore and instead of protecting you and your son; he stole your son and wiped your memory."

Marge gave her a weak smile. "Yes, that is pretty much what happened. You just forgot that he also stole what little magic I had by binding it and causing me to turn into this."

Petunia huffed as she looked at the clock. "You do know that Dudley was a godsend to me, Marge, and I don't really want to part with him. He's a horrible child, mostly because of Vernon and me, but he is maturing into an all right sort of person."

Marge laughed. "I saw you raising the boy. You're damn right most of the problems with him are because of Vernon and you. Of course I did not help either so I won't throw any stones at you." Here she stopped and drew a deep breath. "We have got to get the magical suppressors removed from us before it kills us."

Petunia understood what she was talking about. When magical people could not perform spells they tended to develop obesity and all of its health related issues. "I think that we are going to have to do something about Albus Dumbledore and his habit of doing illegal things 'for the greater good'. Somehow we are going to have to expose him for what he is and let him suffer the consequences."

Marge had a rather pensive look on her face as she scratched Ripper behind the ear as he sat beside her chair. "I don't know what do about him. I am not sure what to do about any of this. What is going to happen with Dudley? Is he going to be yours? Mine? Who is he to listen to when he needs something?"

Petunia did not have any glib answers for her. "I think the best thing to do is straighten out as much of the damage that the old meddling fool caused and see where that leaves us."

Harry walking back in the house effectively ended their conversation. He set the fish and chips packages down in front of Petunia and went to get three plates out of the cabinet.

"Don't worry about plates, boy." Marge said. "When I am alone or only with family I don't mind eating my fish out of the serving tray."

"Yes, Aunt Marge." He brought some forks to the table and asked, "Would you like extra vinegar or any ketchup?"

Petunia smiled fondly at him. "The vinegar, please." Then she turned back to Marge. "You told me about what landed you here. Would you like to know about the rest of us?"

Marge took a healthy bite of her cod and chewed while she considered Petunia's offer. "I think you might want to talk to Vernon first. There are things that he might not want you to mention to me. I know that he has treated me like a sister for the last sixteen years, but now that the truth is out he might not want you associating with me." She shrugged her massive tweed covered shoulders and added, "He might decide to send me packing if he thinks I intend to take Dudley away from you."

Petunia heaved a sigh. "I'm not sure what Dudley will do when he finds out about the magical world and how he has been cheated of part of his birth right, even if it was done with the intention of protecting him from harm."

Marge yawned and turned her attention back to her meal. "Let's just let it rest for tonight. Tomorrow you can talk to Dudley and see what he thinks of the whole mess. Maybe by tomorrow evening we will have figured out a way to talk to Vernon without alienating him, because we are going to need his help if we are going to re-enter the magical world.

"You are right of course. I do appreciate your calm approach to this, Marge, because I really am upset regarding so much. I have not had my core tampered with, but I had love potions administered to me, I have had my mind altered, and I too had my child stolen away from me. It was only the hand of providence that Vernon and I did not kill Harry because our dislike was so intense."

They all three got up and moved away from the table. No one had any desire to make any more comments regarding how badly Albus Dumbledore had manipulated their lives.


	5. Dudley learns the truth

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N # 1: Obviously I write AU. If you want canon turn back now because you are going to be severely disappointed.

A/N#2: I appreciate you helping with fixing errors and asking questions.

Chapter 5: Dudley learns the truth.

Marge left for home just after lunch. The atmosphere in the Dursley house had steadily become more tense as Petunia strove for normality. Vernon had gone out to do something at work and that left just Petunia, Harry and Dudley. Harry was helping Petunia fold laundry when Dudley left the house carrying his old Play Station 2 and a Mario Brothers cartridge. According to him the PS2 was back in fashion and he was taking it over to Piers' house to play.

Petunia glared at him. "Just make sure it comes home when you do. If you hawk it I will not be buying you another one."

Dudley just grinned and kept going.

Harry could not hold the questions back as he glanced at Petunia and saw her being pensive regarding something. "Did you learn any more about Vernon's mother and father from Aunt Marge?

She shook her head 'negative' and continued to fold clothes.

"I know you have been remembering things in random order. Did you remember anything about Vernon and his parents? We might need to talk to them in order to get information about why you ended up here, married to Vernon when you should have been on Azkaban Island looking after the people."

"I did not meet Vernon's mother and father. They supposedly both died a few months before Vernon met me and asked me to marry him and help him take care of his son since my child had died and I needed something to do to help me work my way through my grief."

Harry huffed a bit as he said, "I don't like it. It is much too convenient that I was stolen from you and given to Lily and James. It has got to be someone really important pulling all these strings. I would not be surprised if the bad guy did not turn out to be Dumbledore." He shook his head before mumbling, "Honestly this plan sounds like one of his 'for the greater good' cock-ups."

She grinned. "It does stink of Albus, doesn't it?" Then her grin turned absolutely feral, "If he was raised by Arabella, as I suspect he was, then that would explain why he could not let me meet her until after she had her own house. If that assumption is correct then it is feasible that Dumbledore himself was the father figure even if he was absent from the family often."

That ended the serious discussion. Their conversation still was not to the point of a parent and child dialogue so once the information they needed to exchange had been accomplished speaking had been reduced to exchanging inane remarks regarding the neighbors and what they would say when the news got out that the woman who lived at 4 Privet Drive was actually Nobility. Or was that Royalty? Petunia did not rightly know what she should be called since she was not up on that stuff. Her gossip forte leaned more toward entertainment personalities…

Petunia smirked at Harry as she simpered, "Mrs. Drexell, I don't believe I have introduced you to my son, Harold Solis Black, 43rd Duke of Azkaban. His title comes from my side of the family. My grandfather was Leopold Pendragon, 42nd Duke of Azkaban." Then she added, "I suppose since you are such a good friend of mine I can tell you that Harold also inherited the title Baron Black from his father's side of the family."

Harry had seen Petunia use that exact tone of voice a hundred times with her garden club and could not hold back the laughter. They both had tears of mirth trailing down their cheeks by the time he managed, "That should set the cat among the pigeons, eh?" Then it was back to howling with laughter.

They were sitting at the table sipping mugs of tea when Dudley came in from wherever it was he goes these days… Probably a local park to beat up little children, Harry thought. He waited until Dudley came through and sat down at his usual spot at the table before making an awkward start to the discussion.

He didn't really know what to say to Dudley except to tell him the truth. "Dudley, do you remember last week when I accidentally bloodied your nose while you were showing me some boxing moves?"

Dudley glared at him. "Let me think. It was not so random after all. You intended to actually break my nose as partial payment for all the Harry hunting I used to get up to before those dementors attacked us last summer."

Harry ducked his head slightly and Dudley caught on to the fact that he was embarrassed. "Not really, Duds. What I really wanted was three drops of your blood because I wanted to check something, and the only way to do that was with your blood."

"And you did not think that if you asked me for some blood that I would give it to you? You damn near broke my nose for no other reason than you wanted three drops of blood." Dudley glared at Harry while rubbing a fist in his other hand.

Harry squawked slightly. "I know you say that things have changed, Duds, but I am still in survival mode and it is going to take me awhile."

"You don't really think that things here at the house have changed that much in the last year do you, Harry? I know that I owe my life to you, and I will repay you. I am not going to ask you to change overnight, but I think it would help if you considered treating me with a little respect and dignity."

Petunia watched Dudley speaking to Harry and could not resist. "Be careful what you ask for because you might not like it as much as you thought you would before you got it."

"What do you mean, mummy?" Dudley asked.

"Precisely that, Dudley. You want honesty and dignity. Are you sure you are ready for either one?"

Dudley glanced at Harry to see what his reaction was before he turned back to Petunia. "I think I have matured quite a bit in the last year. I am probably still behind the learning curve for most kids my age. But, yes, I am willing to listen to what you have to say and will try to give a dignified response instead of throwing a fit to manipulate the situation in my favor."

"OK." Petunia looked at Harry. "Where should we start?"

Harry picked up the magical birth certificate with Dudley's blood on it and said. "This is why I needed your blood. We needed to know who you were so that we could figure out what to do about you."

Dudley looked rather unhappy as he gazed at the birth registration certified copy. "So, I am not really Dudley Dursley. According to this I am Abraxis Orion Malfoy and my parents are Lucius Abraxis Malfoy and Celestia Jade Rockwood." His pale blue eyes were already tinged with pink and he had not even started crying yet.

"Harry, who are these people? Who am I?" He collapsed back onto his chair and laid his head down on the table. He had skipped the idea of being hysterical and went straight to being in shock.

Harry filled a cup with strong tea, lots of sugar and some milk. "Here, Dudley. What Petunia and I have to tell you is going to take awhile, so I want you to drink this and we will start when you feel you are capable of listening, OK?"

Dudley nodded and took the tea. He was still shaking badly by the time he was finished so Harry refilled the cup and fetched him an afghan from the storage cupboard that had been installed under the stairs.

Petunia and Harry waited patiently for Dudley to give an indication that he was capable of coherent thought. Finally, he seemed to shake it off and looked to Petunia. "You aren't my mother, are you? It is all starting to make sense to me. The way you treated Harry ever since he came home from school."

He looked around wildly for a moment before focusing on Petunia again. "The way you have changed toward daddy." He shook his head in confusion at that. "No, he's not my dad, is he? He is just some man who raised me for sixteen years and does not have a biological connection to me at all." He lost his battle with the tears and his massive shoulders shook with the grief he was experiencing.

Petunia and Harry looked at each other in horror. They knew that there was going to be pain involved, after all they were tearing the family apart. There was the thought that they might have been a bit careless with Dudley since Marge learning the truth had been an easy process all things considred.


	6. Vernon Confesses

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N # 1: Obviously I write AU. If you want canon turn back now because you are going to be severely disappointed.

A/N#2: I appreciate you helping with fixing errors and asking questions. And a special thanks to my reviewers who make me smile.

* * *

Chapter 6: Vernon Talks

Harry and Petunia moved to each side of him and just held onto him while he sobbed his heart out at having his perfect world ripped to shreds. That was the scene Vernon Dursley walked in on when he returned from work. He stared at the sight dumbfounded for several minutes. "Can I ask what happened to upset everyone?" He asked finally.

Petunia was the one to answer him as she snarled viciously, "You can ask all you want. We might even have a few questions for you before the night is over."

Vernon normally tended to have a florid complexion due to his girth. The tone of her voice had him paling dramatically and reaching for a chair so that he could sit before he fell over. "What has happened that you and Dudley are so upset, Pet?"

Harry knew that Petunia was too angry with Vernon to speak without malice. Dudley was in no shape to even form coherent words. He figured he might as well try to help things along. "Petunia found out that her annual box of chocolates were actually laced with love potions and is slightly annoyed with you. After discovering that fact she decided to see what else was fabricated here at number 4 Privet Drive. She found out that Aunt Marge is not really your sister at all, Dudley is neither your son, nor hers, and that I am actually Petunia's son by her first marriage."

Vernon began mumbling, "Oh, God!" several times until he lit on the idea of having a drink to calm his nerves. He pointed at the cabinet and was relieved when Petunia gave Harry a subtle nod to get up and fetch them all a bit of brandy.

Petunia poured the drinks and passed them around. Glaring at Vernon as if he were the anti-Christ she snarled, "You are going to be doing some serious explaining regarding this business of feeding me love potions for the last seventeen years. Do you have any idea what long term potion abuse can do to a person?"

Vernon stayed mute and shook his head 'no'.

"We will get around to educating you on that soon then."

He twitched.

Dudley was the one who could not keep it together. He could not reconcile losing his parents, "Daddy, please tell me that you raised me because you loved me and wanted me."

Vernon could not bear to see him in such pain. "Dudley, I have loved you and thought of you as my son from the moment I laid eyes on you. You were a gift from God to me and the answer to my prayers."

Some of the haunted look left Dudley. "Do you think that you can tell me why you raised me and not the people on my birth certificate?"

Vernon wanted to deny that Dudley had other parents. After sixteen years of raising the boy he really had become him. Hell, Dudley even looked like him…

They all waited in silence with baited breath. Vernon praying that he did not have to reveal the truth and the other three determined that if he deviated from what few facts they knew he would wish he had never tried lying.

Harry broke the stalemate. "Let me help you get started with the story, Uncle Vernon. We know that Aunt Marge is really Dudley's mum, and that all five of us actually belong in the wizarding world."

"Right then that is as good a place as any to start." Vernon's bluster was completely absent as he began to speak. "You are correct that we all belong in the magical world. The deception began with my birth when my mother's husband found out that I was not his son. Part of the terms of restitution paid him was that mother and I would have our magical cores bound and we would live in the muggle world. My real father refused to marry mother after the divorce was finalized because he did not want his part in the affair known."

He picked up his glass and took a healthy swig before continuing. "Mother had no choice but to list my last name as Dursley which is her maiden name. At the same time she was refused the use of her name and had to keep the name Figg."

Dudley's eyes narrowed at that. "That batty old cat woman is your mother?"

Vernon nodded.

Dudley glared at him. "How can you keep mother and me in such luxury and leave her to live in a council house?"

Harry glanced between the two males, surprised that Dudley would even notice that Arabella Figg lived in such a ramshackle dump. It probably would not seem so bad if the place did not smell so badly of cabbages and cats.

Vernon, though, did not want to accept any more criticism than was due him. "My father put several glamours on the house. It is actually very nice. Now that you know the glamours are there you will be able to see what I mean."

Dudley accepted that. "OK. Now get back to the story."

Vernon shook his head, but continued on. "I was raised by mother in that same lovely cottage where Marge lives now. Father came to visit at times and his long absences from our lives were explained as him being the Headmaster of a very prestigious school for the gifted. When I did not go off to that school there were a few questions asked, but mother simply said that it was a school for prodigies and I was not one."

"As you know, I attended Smeltings and stayed an extra year where I studied business management. After leaving Smeltings I took up as a clerk at Grunnings, the drill company which I now help manage."

Harry stood up and moved to the refrigerator, still listening to Vernon, while he pulled out cold cuts, arranged some cheese and crackers and brought Vernon a bottle of Foster's Lager to keep his throat moist enough to continue speaking. It only seemed reasonable that Vernon wait until Harry was back at the table so that is what he did.

"So, I was working at Grunnings and had gone out to lunch with some of the other lower level workers when I laid eyes on the woman I instantly fell in love with. I was so smitten with her that I walked up to where she was sitting and introduced myself." Here he stopped speaking and gazed lovingly into Petunia's, still snapping with anger, blue eyes.

He forgot about the boys as he said, "you were the loveliest creature I had ever laid eyes on. When you stood up to shake my hand and I saw your pregnancy it just floored me. I was going to go home and commit suicide, and then you spoke and I stayed to hear your voice. It felt like a second chance from God when you told me you were a widow."

Vernon smiled as he continued to remember. "I fire-called father and told him about you. I did not know your name, but somehow he figured out who you were by my description of you. You had your baby a few days later, but I never got to see him. Father told me that he had died. You were horribly depressed and I was worried that you would become suicidal. It was then that father told me he knew of a child that needed parents and that he could cast a _confundus_ charm on you to think Dudley was my child since he looked a bit like a baby of ours would."

Petunia just watched him with the most peculiar expression on her face. "So, the love potions were so that I would reciprocate your affections."

"You are so beautiful that I knew I did not have a chance otherwise. I am just plain, old, fat Vernon Dursley."

"What about Marge?"

Vernon thought about the question for a minute. "If you are asking if she is my sister, the answer is no. She is just someone that went to father for help because she was told if she stayed in the wizarding world she would be killed. Dudley, her son, was the bastard of a very powerful man with a very jealous wife."

Dudley looked at Vernon, confusion clear on his face, "So how did Marge wind up being your sister?"

Vernon smiled. "When Marge gave you to me to raise she was completely exhausted and had no friends or family in the muggle world. I offered to help her out because she needed some support while living on her own. I assume father arranged things so that we became family."

Petunia seemed to relax with that statement. That was pretty much exactly what Marge had told her.

"I did not know that father had put love potions in the candy. He simply said they were some of the best to be had in the wizarding world. At first I thought that you were really growing to care for me. He told me later that the candy was laced with love potions. After that I lost all my confidence and I began to worry about what would happen if I stopped feeding you the potion. I decided that I could not live without you."

Harry recognized the signs that his mother and Vernon were about to get mushy with each other and decided to head it off. "Before you two dance the horizontal tango in front of Dudley and me, can I just point out that long term exposure to love potions can cause a lot of serious health problems? I would recommend that you both make a trip to St. Mungo's and have a complete health check before engaging in strenuous physical activity."

Dudley turned slightly green. "Please, Harry, no more. It is bad enough to think that your parents once had sex, but to have proof of it is just revolting!"

Harry laughed. "What do you say we catch the bus into town, Dudley, and leave the oldies to discuss their predicament? We can catch a movie, grab some pizza, and pick up chicks."

Petunia glared at them. "I expect better from you two."

Dudley nodded his head. "Yes, Mummy. Sorry, Mummy. We will grab the chicks first and then pick up the pizza in that order."

Arm flung out and voice quivering with rage, she snarled, "Out! And stay out until I forgive you both."

After the boys had gone out, Petunia went into the sitting room and slumped down in her favorite chair. Vernon followed her into the room but remained standing. "Petty, please talk to me. I did not mean to hurt you. I really do love you. Father never once mentioned that feeding someone love potions over a long period of time could damage them."

She continued to stare at the television even though it was turned off at the moment.

Just when Vernon thought she might never speak to him again, she opened her mouth. "It seems to me, Vernon, that you trust your father a great deal more than you should. If he was as trustworthy as you feel he is, why wouldn't he have told you that I could be permanently damaged by the potions he was pouring down me?"

Vernon did not know what to say. He shook his head. "Words escape me. All I can say is that I love you more now than when I first met you and you have been my whole world ever since the second I met you."

His declaration of love had Petunia crying. "Vernon, the real reason I am angry about the potions is had I been a muggle, or even a squib, I would be dead by now. Albus Dumbledore had to have known that! If he cared for you as much as he told you he does, why would he let you harm me?"

Vernon sunk down on the couch and lowered his head into his hands. "Petty, I don't have the answers. I swear by all that is holy though that he knows how much I love you. I would die for you." He found himself with an armful of crying female trying to kiss him, decided that that was a good thing, and proceeded to cooperate fully with the lady.

That was the scene Harry and Dudley walked in on a few hours later. Vernon still had his arms around Petunia and she had fallen asleep on his lap. The stupid look of pure happiness on Vernon's face told them that all was well with the oldies.


	7. Reflections on Life

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N # 1: Obviously I write AU. If you want canon turn back now because you are going to be severely disappointed.

A/N#2: I appreciate you helping with fixing errors and asking questions. And a special thanks to my reviewers who make me smile: You guys ROCK!

* * *

Chapter 7: Reflections of life.

Petunia had no recollection of going to bed. The last bit she remembered was talking to Vernon about the damage that could occur from ingesting love potions long term. It was no small wonder she looked like a partially transformed animagus. Love potions had a horrible tendency to distort physical reality along with the psychological…

Petunia glared at her reflection in the mirror. The too long neck, the bony body… Her eyes filled with tears as she gasped and choked while trying to hold back the pain. She knew she did not look hideous, but she did not look like the woman who had met and married Vernon Dursley either.

Why had it taken so long for her to one day wake up and realize that she wasn't normal, that she was in fact a witch? At least that was what she should be calling herself. She knew that all her life she had been surrounded by odd people in the family. She remembered her grandmother saying that folks on both sides of the family came from the "Island" Still, it had taken the letter to Gringotts to really start getting her life back in order.

It was a strange time in life to begin having an identity crisis, but at the age of 38 she figured that just about anything was possible. She had begun having 'episodes' just after her anniversary, but it could have been as early as her birthday.

She remembered the first time she had caught a glimpse of her life before Vernon entered it. She had been washing dishes and a bubble rose from the sink; when she touched the bubble to bust it she was sucked into a memory of her grandfather telling her not to eat certain chocolates that came from the wizarding world…

At the time she thought she might have just been dreaming, but the thought returned when Vernon brought her a huge box of chocolates again for her anniversary present. She felt that after seventeen years of marriage that he could get her something besides chocolates every year. She had waited until he left the house and flushed the whole box down the toilet. A few hours later, in a fit of remorse at destroying the present he gave her, she had gone out and purchased a five pound box of chocolates as close to what he had brought her as possible.

The taste of the chocolates Petunia replaced hadn't been the same though and along with the taste, the new chocolates did not have the mind numbing ability the others had. She began to feel like a fog was lifting from her.

That thought stayed with her for several days while she went about her daily routine. Then one day in the middle of rubbing tenderizer into the steak she planned to serve for dinner that night the random thought occurred that she needed to take off her wedding rings so that she could think clearer. She took the rings off and set them on the counter while she considered some of the perplexing ideas that had been forming lately.

She remembered living in a little town called Spinners End when she was about eight years old. Life had been fun in Spinners End until the summer of 1966 when an ugly, skinny, boy showed up one day at the park and told Lily that she was a witch. That had not gone over well with the parents and both girls had been set down and received a good talking to regarding so many things about their lives that they took for granted.

She remembered Lily breaking down in tears as Grandma Merope explained to her exactly what would have happened to them if someone other than a 'magical' had seen the little stunt Lily did. Being a magical person while living in the 'muggle' world held several pitfalls that they would need to guard against.

It was around that time that Grandpa Leo had set his grand plan in motion. The plan suited the rest of the family and so Petunia became the Azkaban Heiress and Lily went to Hogwarts. Their lives would have been lovely if it had not been for the moron who called himself Lord Voldemort.

Vernon and the boys sat at the table and listened to Petunia upstairs sobbing her heart out. He turned to Harry and asked, "What can I do, boy?"

Harry raised his head and listened intently. "If she is starting to have withdrawal symptoms from the potions the only thing we can do is take her to St. Mungo's and get her help."

Dudley rose from the table. "I'll get the car sorted." He had the keys and was out the door before Vernon could argue.

Harry stood and cleared the table while Vernon sat there shaking in fear that Petunia might not recover. A dish cleaning charm later and Harry was back at the table shaking Vernon's shoulder and telling him that it was time for him to go up and bring her downstairs.

Vernon looked almost as bad a Petunia felt by the time he got her dressed and into the car. After filling the tank with petrol and bringing the car back, Dudley had slid into the back seat and waited to assist her.

While Vernon was in the bathroom coaxing Petunia to change out of her housedress so they could leave, Harry had entered their room and packed a bag for her in case she needed to stay the night. He also took a minute to send Hedwig to Arthur Weasley and asked him to meet them at the Leaky Caldron in approximately an hour. He had been to St. Mungo's with the Weasley family at Christmas, but he did not remember how to get there and wanted Arthur to guide them to the building rather than go through the floo with Petunia feeling so poorly.

St. Mungo's had been a nightmare for the Dursley family. The receptionist had not wanted to help Petunia until Harry had drawn his wand and snarled at the idiot woman. The doctor who finally saw her spent two minutes scanning her and was about to walk out the door when all three men lost their cool. The resulting backlash of magic ensured that the next doctor sent in the room was not only competent, but was not prejudiced against what he thought was a muggle/squib. The whole hospital knew that Petunia Marie Dursley was not only magical, so were the men who were waiting there with her.

Harry helped Vernon fill out the forms to have Petunia admitted for detoxification. He and Dudley then stood guard and refused to let the aurors take Vernon away for questioning once the Doctor firecalled the aurors instead of asking what happened. It took Amelia Bones showing up to get the boys to back off long enough for Kingsley to get statements from Petunia and Vernon.

Eventually the problems were sorted. Petunia was admitted, had her first course of potions prescribed, and then was left to visit with Vernon and the boys until she needed the next round of medication.

The medi-wizard overseeing her case advised the men to keep her in the hospital for at least forty-eight hours, but that they should break their visiting hours up into shifts so someone would be with her the whole time. He did not expect Petunia to have any adverse affects to the detoxification, he just felt it would be easier on her if she woke and had someone with her.

Dudley took the first shift and sat down beside her bed to watch as she slept. He had been told that the first few hours could be very hard on the patient and she had been given a sleeping draught to get her past the initial set of potions.

Harry took Vernon back out into muggle London so he could get a few items to tide them over until Petunia could leave the hospital. After booking a hotel room, calling work and taking a leave of absence, and then phoning Marge, Vernon was ready to return to the hospital.

The time passed rather peacefully. Harry and Dudley let Vernon spend most of the time with Petunia while she was awake. She wanted to know where the boys were and what they were up to, but she mostly clung to Vernon and let the potions do their work. They popped in every few hours with something new to talk about, flowers, a few magazines, and even brought Marge up to visit once.

Petunia stayed an extra day at hospital just to rest. During that time the doctor also managed to scan Vernon, Dudley and Harry. He wanted to keep all of them until they were given a clean bill of health but all three males declined the extra hospital time and opted for visiting him on an out-patient basis to have their health problems dealt with.

After exiting the hospital Petunia begged them to take her to Diagon Alley to see a few of the sights Harry and Dudley had told her about. Along the way they stopped at Ollivander's Wand shop and found Petunia a new wand. They then continued their leisurely tour of the shops before taking a break to catch their breath.

Petunia and Harry were sitting together at one of the outside tables eating ice cream when Albus Dumbledore showed up and began bullying Harry. He was of the opinion that Harry needed to return home as soon as possible so that he would be protected by the blood wards. The old man was at his wits end with trying to track Petunia down and get her to go home to Vernon; and he did not have the first idea on how to fix the mess that had been made regarding the fact that Abraxis Orion Malfoy had not died as his father had been told, but was alive and being raised by a squib as a muggle.

Petunia finally had enough of Albus Dumbledore's incessant meddling in the lives of everyone in the wizarding world and decided that she was going to set things straight right now! She stood and drew her wand, pointed it at the old man, and growled, "You had better call an emergency meeting of the Wizengamot right now. I have had enough of you interfering in my life and I intend to set it straight immediately."

Albus drew himself up and looked down his long crooked nose at the fragile blonde. "Dear Lady, I have no idea of what you speak. I fear that you have me confused with someone else."

"I know exactly who you are, Albus Dumbledore and there is no bloody way in hell I would confuse you with anyone else. So, again, I demand that you call an emergency meeting of the Wizengamot. I intend to hold you responsible for all the meddling and manipulating you have done over the last score of years that has decimated and maligned my family and our allies. I invoke the right of a trial before my peers to air my grievances against you."

Albus had no choice but to comply with the woman's demands. It helped that there were several gentlemen of the press in attendance of the incident. "May I at least know your name, Madam so that I can arrange the docket properly?"

Harry stood up and moved to stand beside Petunia. "Let the prosecuting party be named as Harry James Potter, to include all of his titles, names, and aliases both in the wizarding world and the muggle world. The charges shall be read as to include, but not be limited to: Line theft; illegal use of potions and charms on said person and others residing in the home of record for said person; illegal use of said person's possessions, money, and influence; and other charges as recognized by the jury."

Albus blinked bemusedly at Harry. "I understand that you are upset, my boy, but I am only doing what is best for you and the greater good. I need you to come along with me and we can get you home before any further problems develop."

Harry inclined his head in a formal bow as a display of respect to the elder. "I find myself unable to accept your kindness and shall rely upon the expertise of my staff at this point. Please send me notification of date and time for the full Wizengamot session. Failure to receive said notification shall be taken by my staff as admission of guilt of crimes against myself and my house and we will file papers demanding restitution of all perceived slights."

Albus nodded. "I know that you have been emancipated, Harry. However, there are things you do not know and I beg you to reconsider what you are about to do. Please do as I ask and return to your aunt's house where you can be protected."

Harry shook his head 'no'. "We will expect an owl regarding the details of the wizengamot meeting, Sir."


	8. The Wizengamot convenes

Disclaimers: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe and no money is being made from this story.

* * *

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N # 1: Obviously I write AU. If you want canon turn back now because you are going to be severely disappointed.

* * *

Chapter 8: The Wizengamot Convenes

"I did manage to pull that off successfully, didn't I?" Harry asked. "Honestly though, it was a good thing that Grimtooth anticipated that move and had me learn that little speech." He shuddered a few times before admitting, "I hope this is one of those things I grow into because it felt like I was taking a test and I didn't know any of the answers."

Dudley laughed and punched his arm good naturedly, "You sounded just like one of those pompous old windbags ranting in the House of Lords. I'm sure it went over well."

After finishing their ice creams the group split up. Vernon took Dudley and headed out to the car. Petunia and Harry were finishing up a bit of shopping for new wardrobes before heading out into Charring Cross Road to catch Vernon on his way back to Surrey.

Petunia and Harry were still in Diagon Alley when the owl informing them of the date and time of the Wizengamot session was delivered to them. Along with it Dumbledore had sent a note which doubled an apology and a request that Harry meet with him so they could discuss their differences and make some headway toward settling those differences before the case went to trial.

The only response to reading the letter was Harry shaking his head and handing the note to Petunia. She read the note and frowned at Dumbledore's blatant attempt at manipulation. "I think we need to go back to Gringotts and discuss this with Grimtooth."

Harry decided to ask, "Why? I know that Grimtooth helps us out a lot but isn't he our accountant?"

Petunia gave her son one of her rare smiles. "He is our accountant. But, he is also our 'Man of Business'."

"Please explain that one to me." He gave her his arm and escorted her down the street to the huge white building that loomed crookedly at the end.

His could swear she was outright laughing at him over that. "Harry, goblins tend to live very long lives if they are not at war with either other warrens or races of magical beings. Surely you paid attention when he said that he had met your great-grand father back in 1901. He might have just been starting out as our accountant back then, but he would have already completed his educational degree and served his apprenticeship. Grimtooth is probably some 150 years old which for a goblin is starting to enter the upper end of middle age. During the time he has been our 'Man' he would have continued with his education to include such areas of study as Global Politics, International Legal Issues, and any number of the Arts."

"So, we have a true Renaissance man working for us." The statement was said with a smile on Harry's face as Grimtooth made his presence known to them.

The goblin smiled at Harry and returned his bow of greeting. "You honor me, Azkaban, but I am not technically a Renaissance man."

Harry laughed at him. "You only quibble because you do not want to be labeled as a man!"

"Well said!" The goblin agreed promptly. He lost a bit of his good humor when he read the letter from Dumbledore. He asked them to wait while he met with one of his associates and then disappeared for a few minutes. He soon returned and admitted that he had contacted their main solicitor who had advised them not to have any contact with Dumbledore leading up to the trial, but to direct any further correspondence through him.

The ride home was quiet, but pleasant. Compared to most of the road trips Harry had been forced to endure with the Dursleys the trip was complete nirvana. He was even more surprised when he heard Petunia tell Vernon that she was going to use the cell phone to call the pizza shop on the corner rather than waiting for Harry to cook something. He sank back into the car seat with a deep sigh that had everyone else grinning.

Home was quiet and felt alien after being gone for so long. None of them felt like worrying too much though. Since it was getting late, they ate their dinner and went up to bed. Time enough tomorrow to start getting ready to deal with Dumbledore.

* * *

The trial itself was of little pleasure to either Petunia or Harry. It was merely a means by which they could accomplish most of their goals. They intended to neutralize Albus Dumbledore's influence over them, take their rightful place in the wizarding world, and send a message to the rest of the world that they would no longer hide and be pawns to others.

Petunia was dressed as Petunia Dursley and her demeanor was at odds with most of the courtroom. If she had not been flanked by her solicitor on one side and Harry on the other she was sure she would not have been allowed within the halls of the Ministry of Magic, let alone be allowed down in courtroom number 10 where the full Wizengamot met.

Her solicitor was incredibly brilliant though and she trusted him. With the amount of money he had been paid over the years to maintain the Azkaban trust he would have been a fool to advise her incorrectly. It would be necessary to start with what everyone was familiar with and then move to the unknown. Everyone knew that Petunia Dursley was Harry Potter's muggle aunt…

Albus knew that things would not go well for him as soon as the charges began being listed by the court scribe, Percy Weasley, under the direction of Madame Amelia Bones, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.

He sunk his head down on the desk in front of him and wished that he could die of embarrassment by the time the second charge had been posted. The list was long and disturbing to say the least. Among the charges were:

Aiding and abetting a (presumed) squib with providing mind-control substances used to suppress a magical person's free will.

Obliterating and memory charming a magical person.

Modifying the memory of a squib for personal gain

Kidnapping and modifying the memory of a muggle for personal gains.

And Line theft- two counts:

a. Denying Harold Sothis Black his rightful place in society by means of kidnapping, core-tampering, and abandonment in the muggle world.

b. Denying Abraxis Orion Malfoy his rightful heritage by means of kidnapping and core tampering, and abandonment in the muggle world.

The Wizengamot was in an uproar by the time the fifth main charge was read. The man on trial was the most highly decorated wizard in hundreds of years.

Percy merely finished his list and sat back down. Amelia had to rise and use her gavel to restore order. "I will remind everyone that idle chatter and speculation will not be tolerated here. The charges you have just heard have been submitted and have various pieces of evidence attached to them for your consideration by the Honorable Munford Bowersley of the law firm Bowersley, Brooks, and Critcheon, Attorneys at Law, and representing the Duke of Azkaban, his honorable mother, Lady Azkaban, and Abraxis Orion Malfoy as primaries in this law suit.

Because of the nature of the case secondary individuals would also be eligible to present their cases at this time. Their legal representation would also be represented by Bowersley, Brooks, and Critcheon. Three secondaries already slated for the docket are Arabella Dursley Figg, Vernon Dursley, and Marge Dursley aka Celestia Jade Rockwood.

Amelia glared the gossiping Wizengamot into submission and proceeded to give them their instructions. After making sure they knew what was expected of them, she then turned to Harry. Speaking to the older gentleman beside him she asked, "Mr. Bowersley, are you ready to present your case to the court?"

The gentleman rose from his seat and proceeded to approach the bench. Once he was even with Madame Bones he turned to the courtroom and began speaking. "We are here before you today to seek justice for the Dursley Family regarding their treatment at the hands of Albus Dumbledore. You have heard several charges read out and we intend to not only prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Albus Dumbledore committed all the crimes for which he his being charged, he did so with little forethought to the end results of his manipulations."

The crowd maintained their silence. Bowersley was a riveting speaker, he rarely embellished any of his cases and only then when a point needed clarification. For him to say they intended to prove Albus Dumbledore had committed atrocities against muggles whom he claimed to honor and respect as individuals was enthralling.

Albus knew he was pretty well sunk and the only way to get out of paying serious reparation was to get the trial finished as soon as possible so not everything would come to light. "I admit that I have made some mistakes regarding the Dursley household, but there were extenuating circumstances."

Bowersley murmured, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions. But, that is neither here nor there. We shall begin with analyzing the relationship between Mrs. Arabella Dursley Figg and yourself."

Albus blanched but sat there maintaining a composed front.

"Tell me, Albus Dumbledore, what were your objectives when you started down this path? You seduced a married woman then helped her husband punish her and your child while you went on to do whatever you wanted to. What was the reasoning behind you helping Thaddeus Figg bind his wife's magic? Then for you to let him do the same to your son? Your only son that we know of since the Dumbledore line does not have a legitimate heir?"

Albus looked at Amelia with haunted eyes. "I have made so many mistakes. I swear on my magic that I never had the intention of deliberately hurting anyone. I have a horrible habit of trying to do what I think is best for everyone and I forget sometimes that I need to let others do things for themselves."

The Wizengamot watched in fascination as the oath he had just sworn swirled around him and left him with his magic intact. Amelia continued with the questioning, "How did you become involved with Arabella Dursley Figg?"

Albus gave Arabella a sad smile as she sat there rigidly staring at the man who had changed her life so drastically from what it could have been. "When I first met Arabella she was already married. Her mind fascinated me because she was a Potions Master already at a very young age and I became intrigued, then enchanted with her. Somewhere in our professional association lines were blurred then crossed and we found ourselves being lovers in love with a child on the way."

The only indication that Arabella was processing his speech was the fact that her clenched hands spasmed periodically. Otherwise, she remained a statue. Those who knew her and usually laughed at the crazy cat lady persona were chilled to note her rigidity.

He continued on, "Thaddeus Figg did not want Arabella, but he did not want me to have her either since he knew that some years before I had an unfortunate love affair with a man."

There were no gasps of surprise at this because most everyone knew about Gellert Grindelwald. Most of the Wizengamot did turn to stare at Thaddeus Figg though.

Albus stared straight at Thaddeus Figg as he continued speaking, "I think he was most vexed about the fact that I was enamored with Arabella because he wanted to become intimate with me. His immediate reaction to finding us together in a compromising position was to demand satisfaction." Here a smile crossed his face, "But, then he recovered his senses and recognized the error of his ways. Thaddeus agreed to let Arabella live if she allowed him to bind the magics of her and our child."

Thaddeus merely smirked as he remarked, "That statement is mere conjecture on the part of the defendant."

At this statement tears began to silently roll down Arabella's face. It was agony to sit there are listen to her ex-husband and the great love of her life speak of her shortcomings as if she were nothing but a harlot in Nocturne Alley.

And then Albus admitted to everyone his mistakes because of misguided intentions. "At the time I convinced myself that letting Mr. Figg bind Arabella's and Vernon's magic was for the best because they were still alive and I would be able to be with them most of the time." His voice almost choked out though when he confessed, "But, I could not be with them often after all because we discovered early on that they were both sensitive to magic and it caused what the muggles call an allergic reaction. We were able to stabilize Arabella's health by having her adopt several cats. We could not find anything to help Vernon and it became apparent at the beginning that the ambient magic was causing him to put on too much weight for a healthy body. "

Albus turned back to Amelia because watching Arabella cry was too much. "I was there when he bound their magic and sent them away from his home. Arabella was allowed to keep her memories, mainly because Thaddeus Figg wanted her to experience the shame of being an unwed mother. He has had his revenge for over thirty-five years now and I would ask the Wizengamot to unbind their magics at this time. I am prepared to accept your course of reparation regarding the matter."

Figg stood up and requested that he be allowed to defend his position. There were some sympathizers to Figg's plight, but even they could not justify binding a magical core because of an illicit love affair. Most everyone viewed sex as a recreational pastime unless they were bonded, but most marriage contracts differentiated between house alliance marriages and formal bondings, or love matches.

The court noted that Figg objected to Vernon Dursley having his magic unbound because he could then become the magical heir of Albus Dumbledore while he still did not have an heir to his own house. It was finally agreed that the marriage contract between Thaddeus Figg and Arabella Dursley would be scrutinized and a legal interpretation by a neutral party would be given.

The court would have a two hour recess while the document was scrutinized by the Department of Magical Inheritances. After that, a ruling would be made regarding the release of Arabella's core. Vernon would be considered here but he was expected to plead his own case before the court ended.


	9. The Prosecution might be correct

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N # 1: Obviously I write AU. If you want canon turn back now because you are going to be severely disappointed.

A/N#2: I appreciate you helping with fixing errors and asking questions. **And, now I need some help with deciding who Harry needs to court as the next Duchess of Azkaban. I am leaning heavily towards either Pansy or Luna but have not written either in yet...**

* * *

Chapter 9: The Prosecution might be correct…

The next order of business was in regards to Celestia Jade Rockwood, also known as Marge Dursley. She was present in the courtroom also, and was quite eager to find out exactly why Albus had 'helped' her in the manner he had.

Dumbledore shocked everyone when he began to speak this time. "Let me start by saying that all of the charges that you are investigating are related and that I am in fact guilty. I could claim that it was all for the greater good, but the simple fact of the matter is that I committed those crimes for my son."

Here Dumbledore paused while everyone spent some oddly strained moments staring at the obese muggle with the name tag **Vernon Dursley** on it. Vernon appeared rather nondescript with his triple chins, receding hairline, and florid complexion. He was quite a bit heavier than the average wizard, but he was not too peculiar.

Amelia finally lost her patience. "If the lot of you would stop staring at Mr. Dursley as if he were some rare entomological prize it is time to get back to what we are here to do."

Harry Potter could be heard to whine, "But, Uncle Vernon, they are only staring because they want to see if you can do any tricks."

Amelia could not suppress the smile as she glanced back over that direction. Harry Potter really was every bit the scamp that her niece, Susan, said he was. Obviously she wasn't the only one who thought that since the woman identified as Petunia Dursley just grinned and cuffed him up side of his head. But, enough of that and it was time to get back to the reason everyone was gathered.

Albus saw Amelia nod toward him to please continue. He took a sip of his water and began. "My first view of my son was an incredible experience. I realized that here was a being that I would do just about anything for. There are those here who will agree with me when I say that blood really is thicker than water. I do not know if it is a magical manifestation or not, but the overwhelming urge to protect those of your own blood was an overwhelming urge for me."

Several in the galley as well as the chambers seats nodded an affirmative. Almost everyone there had experienced that phenomenon a few times.

"As I explained before, It was physically impossible for me to spend much time with Arabella and Vernon because he reacted badly around magic. I spent as much time as I could with them through the years and honestly did my best to give Arabella and Vernon everything they needed and most of what they wanted also. I could not have Vernon at Hogwarts, but I did send him to Smeltings, a muggle boarding school, that had a very good turn-out rate for successful men."

Vernon could not refrain from speaking. "I loved attending Smeltings, and am very grateful to you for all you did for me though the years, father."

Albus's eyes twinkled merrily at that declaration. "Yes, well, school is one thing, but when you told me that you had found the woman you wanted to marry and that she did not appear to feel the same I should have respected the fact that you should be given the chance to succeed or fail with her on your own merit. Instead I interfered in several lives at that point to give you someone to love on a full time basis since I had been unable to. And that is what this trial is really all about."

Vernon nodded and sat back in his chair. The magic in the room was cloying and he did want to be away from it all. Leaving was not an option though so he would sit and try to persevere. His usual method with dealing with this feeling was to eat, however, that did not feel right and he would not have resorted to eating here around these people even if he had food in front of him.

He thought he was controlling his anxiety, but he was surprised when Harry leaned forward and gently nudged the bell sitting in front of their chairs. Then to hear the boy who he had abused for the last fifteen years ask that a magic suppressor be cast on Vernon's seat so that he could function properly almost had the big man in tears. He thought about blustering for a second and decided that a simple 'thank you' was more dignified and effective.

That led right back to Albus using the incident to emphasize the point that even the best of intentions were rarely thought out to the point where others were not being injured with the careless neglect or lack of forethought. "This is precisely what I meant when I determined to do my best for my son. I even stated that he had trouble functioning in a magical environment and then we bring him in here and overlook taking precautions to ensure he is not harmed."

He then turned to Arabella and asked the same question, "Are you well enough to function, Arabella, or would you like to have the magic around you dampened until you have been checked over by a medical specialist and had your core unbound?"

Amelia turned and waited until Arabella indicated her choice and the trial resumed. "Please continue, Albus. If I have to ask you to resume, even with a valid excuse," here she nodded to Harry before finishing, "I may fine you for contempt of court."

Albus twinkled at her as he deliberately took a second to dig through his robe pockets and find a lemon drop which then had to be unwrapped and popped into his mouth before he could continue. "Several things happened around the same time and it was as if providence was taking a hand in things to make everything work out for the best."

"First of all I had Miss Rockwood approach me with the request that I help her disappear into the muggle world." Here he switched his gaze from Amelia to Lucius Malfoy. "She said she had been threatened with death if she did not take her son away because he entered the world some minutes before your wife's child did."

Lucius blinked a few times before his gaze swung to first Marge Dursley and then on to the huge blond boy sitting between her and Harry Potter. "You look nothing like the Celestia Rockwood who took the Malfoy heir and disappeared. What have you done to yourself and that boy?"

Before Marge could defend herself Dudley stood up and glared at his sire. "Just how fucking stupid are you? Didn't you just hear the old man say that not being able to do magic manifests in different ways? Binding mum's magic while I was being breast fed guaranteed that if she had a problem then I would have it also. Not being able to do magic manifested into what you are looking at." He glared around at several gaping Wizengamot members and added, "At least we have the possibility of losing some of our obesity. Does half of the idiots here have even a prayer of a chance of growing either a brain or a spine?"

Lucius Malfoy quirked an eyebrow at his firstborn but held his temper. If the boy could stand up to him in front of this many people he might not be a total waste like his other son. Instead of mauling the boy he found himself saying, "My apologies." He then turned back to Albus. "Again, I apologize. Please continue."

Albus nodded and began again. "I now had a lovely blond lady with a baby asking for help at the same time my son has requested me to visit because he has met a wonderful woman and would like my input because he had fallen in love and was not sure just how to introduce her to the family." He stopped looking at everyone and stared at the desk in front of him as he battled the blush of shame covering his face.

"Vernon described Petunia to me perfectly and I went to the hospital to visit her because she had been in a vehicle accident and her baby came a few weeks early." He stopped and took a deep breath. "And as I looked down at the pretty blond lady holding her son I thought about never being able to hold my own son and I did the unforgiveable."

He took on a hard tone as he continued, "I took the child right out of Petunia's arms and I _obliviated_ her because she was only a squib and did not deserve to have a magical child. That magical child was needed in the next room where her sister, Lily, lay crying because the vehicle accident they had just been in had not only taken the life of her child but also the ability to have any more children. A few days later when Vernon told me that Petunia had tried to commit suicide because she was so depressed about her child not living it occurred to me what I could do to fix all the loose ends. I did not consult either Vernon or Petunia before I asked Celestia if she would like for me to arrange an adoption for her son since he was not an easy child to tend."

Malfoy's snicker could be heard from across the room. It was a notoriously well known fact that little Malfoys were damn near impossible to deal with and that fact was probably one of the first reasons there were never very many of them.

"Vernon and Petunia were wed a few days after my conversation with Celestia. And by the time the house at Privet Drive had been furnished and moved into, the papers declaring Dudley Vernon Dursley as their child had been signed and filed by all parties. Having Dudley to take care of did the trick with Petunia and she recovered from her depression."

"Is that all?" Madame Bones asked.

Albus heaved a sigh of irritation. "No, it was not."

"Please continue to clarify all points then."

"I gave Arabella the option of moving to Wisteria Walk so she would be close to Vernon in case he needed her and she decided to. That left the country house I had purchased Arabella empty and instead of selling it I asked Celestia if she wanted to take up residence there. She had expressed an interest in becoming a surrogate mother again and rather than let her aid her family as such, I did a partial _obliviation_ on her also and set her up with a kennel where she could use her mothering instincts to breed and train dogs."

This earned him quite a few negative comments from the Wizengamot and his ears glowed a dull red by the time order was restored. Amelia finally asked the question, "Why precisely did you feel the need to change Ms. Rockwood's mind about bearing children for other magical?"

Albus coughed a time or two but finally admitted, "Ms. Rockwood was from a family considered dark and I did not feel she should provide children for families under those circumstances."

The curt nod he received from Madame Bones left no doubt that that reasoning was going to wreck havoc with his life quite soon. Instead of speaking her mind, she continued. "You have been accused of two counts of line tampering. Both Harry James Potter and Dudley Vernon Dursley need to know why you tampered with their lives." By the time she finished the questions, Madame Bones had a decidedly nasty look on her face.

Albus directed a pleading look at the boys before asking, "Could you please forgive the meddling of an old man? I had no sinister plots in mind when I bound young Master Malfoy's magic. I was simply trying to minimize the magic exposure to Vernon since there was no moving him out of the house. Petunia and Vernon had both built their world around him."

None of the Dursley family unit felt they could hold that rationale against him. There was no denying the fact though that he had made all the major decisions without their knowledge or consent.

Augusta Longbottom rose and asked permission to speak after Albus had finished. When permission was granted she turned to Dumbledore and dropped the bomb, "Then why did you leave Harry on their doorstep when you knew the boy reeked of magic? Were you hoping that he would die there? Couldn't you have at least told Petunia who the child really was?"

People sucked in their breath and held it as she gathered steam and continued on, all the while glaring at him with all the fury of a grandmother. "What gave you the right to ignore James Potter's will when it stated he was to be given to me to raise along with his bond-brother, my grandson, Neville? Instead you raised him in ignorance and violence instead of training him to be Lord Potter?"

Albus had no ready answer. "I don't know. Probably I thought he should not be raised to be The Potter because he had no right to the title."

This time the Heraldry Steward rose and requested permission to speak. "I beg your pardon, Madame Bones, but that statement is inaccurate. As Harold Solis Black, Mr. Potter was named the Potter Heir, along with being the Black Heir if no direct line of descent was acknowledged."

Albus leaned his head down and rubbed the side of his cheek. There was another fact that he had not been privy to and muffed up.

Amelia shook her head at that bit of information. "Ok, so that is another issue. The Will of Lord Potter was disregarded." Then she turned to the court scribe and said, "Make a note to send a formal request to Gringotts to provide a certified copy of the Potter Will along with bank statements and other current and/or pending contracts pertinent to the Potter Estate." Then after running her hand along her head she added, "Also request all legal documents pertinent to the Black Estate."

As Percy was making an annotation to request the pertinent information, Amelia looked up at Malfoy and asked, "Does the Malfoy Estate need to make any changes, assessments, or charges either to the Malfoy Estate or against the Dumbledore Estate regarding the missing Malfoy Heir?"

Lucius considered for less than a second before he stood and spoke. "I will have to consult with my legal team before making a choice and beg the court's indulgence of several days to come to a decision."

Amelia's curt nod had him bowing in respect and he retook his seat. She then turned to Vernon and Petunia and began questioning them. Mr. Bowersley conferred with them briefly before letting Vernon speak.

Vernon replied, "I keep hearing that my father loved me and the only reason he did all these horrible things was with the end result in mind of making me happy. Yet, I cannot shake the feeling that I am little more than a toy to him since he does not give me any input on how my life is really supposed to work. I have to live with the knowledge that I abused a child for fifteen years with no real understanding of why except that the child's magic conceivably made my wife and me mentally ill."

Albus's head flew up and he stared wide-eyed at Vernon. Never in a million years would he have ever guessed Vernon would say such a thing. Vernon had always been a hard-working, detail oriented man with an obsessive desire to prove himself. He had always come across as well adjusted and considerate though. After all the boy had done well with his O levels and his A levels had recommended him highly in the business world. "What do you mean, son?" He finally choked out.

Vernon did not have a chance to answer him though because Petunia had finally got wind in her sails and was ready to have a go at him. "You keep harping that you wanted the best for Vernon and that you obliviated me and sealed Dudley's magic in order to make him happy, yes? Well, did it ever occur to you that I am not a squib? Just because I did not graduate from Hogwarts you think you know everything about me. Would it bother you at all to learn that although my birth name is Petunia Evans my legal name under which I took my OWLs and NEWTs is Petunia Marie Pendragon, heiress to Duchy of Azkaban. What you did, old man, was meddle with the Duke of Azkaban and for that alone I will never forgive you."

As the court watched they saw the ordinary muggle woman sink back in her chair in a torrent of tears as she muttered, "I could have killed my own son!" Harry and Dudley both wrapped their arms around her and sheltered her from the gawkers.

Most of the people in the room were making noise. Some managed to regain their calm after only a gasp…or two… Others were outright shrieking in fear of the name Azkaban because it invoked the image of dementors which then led to other images…

Dumbledore's magic flared at her obvious anger. "Just you wait one minute, missy! I will not tolerate you taking that tone to me." He began. He was just winding up when he was practically knocked out of his chair with an overpowered silencing charm.

This time it was Harry Potter who entered the fray. "Don't you ever take that derogatory tone of voice to my lady-mother ever again so long as I live." He roared.

You could have heard a pin drop…three floors up. Then like kindergarten being released on a summer afternoon Lucius Malfoy and his contingent stood and politely began celebrating with fire crackers and very loud singing and dancing because the Duke of Azkaban was not only alive and well, he was a magical of incredible magnitude. And best of all, he was a parseltongue.

There was no way Albus Dumbledore was going to be forgiven for an error of this magnitude. The whole wizarding world had been subjected to unspeakable horror for over a decade and a half due to Dumbledore's meddling.

The Ministry of Magic was not going to be happy that Azkaban Island would no longer fall under their jurisdiction as a prison per the terms of the original Ministry of Magic's copy of the agreement of occupation. Most of those who studied Dark Magic were pleased though because Azkaban was the recognized Dark Lord, and his return meant a lot of things were about to change.

Albus's anger was so great at that revelation that his magic flared and broke the silencing charm. His angry wail of 'NO!' echoed around the room for what seemed ages. He was absolutely livid as he glared at the boy he had attempted to make into Harry Potter: Savior of the Light. His anger was such that he almost had a coronary and the only thing that did save him was Severs Snape slapping him across the face to break his self-induced bout of hysteria and then handing him a double strength calming draught.

Snape could be heard murmuring to Dumbledore that it was about damn time he got what was coming to him and if Harry Potter, or Harold Black, was the new Dark Lord he had only himself to blame for some of the treatment he had inflicted on the boy.

Amelia Bones could not help the relief that flooded her at hearing the Dark contingent begin celebrating. She was a great stickler for doing what was right, and she abided by the law. That did not mean she was so idealistic to think that one magic could survive without the other. She had learned a lot at her grandparents' knees even before she attended Hogwarts and learned early on that intent drove a spell, not its classification. She had learned that there were purification rituals that had been used years ago… Oh there were just so many things that were suddenly possible again once the lady-mother of the new Duke of Azkaban got him up to speed on his duties and responsibilities.

She indicated to the aurors that they needed to escort Albus back to his holding cell. It was actually one of the bedrooms the ministry used for visiting dignitaries, but no one minded as long as Albus had to stay where he could be watched constantly.

Albus was escorted from the court room by Kingsley and Tonks. As they left they could not help but hear Snape's ringing tones, "This is certainly going to throw a spanner in the works regarding the Dark Lord Voldemort now that he's back!"

An old man finally stood up from his chair and made his way down the aisles to stand in front of Amelia. "You need to declare the trial of Albus Dumbledore in recess while we prepare for the coronation of his highness, Duke Azkaban."

Amelia acknowledged that the Heraldry Stewart had just requested permission to begin the process of recognizing the new Dark Lord. She quickly called the chambers to order again and began the process of recognizing Harry as the legitimate heir.

It was going to be a very long session, beginning with the Wizengamot questioning Petunia on her right to claim status as first Heiress of Azkaban and then as lady-mother of the 43rd Duke. Only a few of the really dim politicians did not catch the significance of his reign being one that fell in a prime number. Magically speaking primes indicated change, and since things were already bad they were hoping it would not get worse.

Court recessed for the rest of the day and would resume the following morning.


	10. Modern History of Azkaban

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N # 1: Obviously I write AU. If you want canon turn back now because you are going to be severely disappointed.

A/N#2: I appreciate you helping with fixing errors and asking questions. **Luna is currently front runner for the title of Duchess of Azkaban. If you would rather some other lady be Harry's Duchess please let me know. **

* * *

Chapter 10: Some of Azkaban's History

Petunia began with explaining how she came to be the heiress. She was a direct descendent of the Azkaban line and the story as she knew it began with her grandfather Leopold Pendragon, the 42nd Duke of Azkaban.

Leopold Pendragon, Lord of Azkaban, was only another failure who had been trying practically all his life to end the curse of Azkaban. He had become Lord of Azkaban long before he was supposed to due to the sinking of the **_USS Maine_** in Havana Harbor, Cuba in 1898. His father who was on an ambassadorial mission for the British government had been on the boat to mediate discussions between the United States and Spain trying to head off the Spanish American War.

It was rather disheartening to actually become a lord the second you were born, but his esteemed father had become a casualty some four months prior to his birth and left him to sort out the family's problems without any help from the previous generation except all the journals from the previous Dukes and what Lady Aziza had told him regarding the situation.

Leopold Pendragon had been a late-in-life child, a real surprise actually. He was the result of a tryst between Aziza Grindelwald, mother of Gellert Grindelwald, who would later become famous as a dark lord trying to take over the world, and the rather reclusive Umberto Pendragon, sometimes Statesman for Her Majesty the Queen of Great Britain, and Duke of Azkaban the 41st.

Not a terribly exciting pedigree unless you got a kick out of being a bastard. His mother did love him though and often spoke of his father as being thrilled to know that he had a son on the way even if he had not managed to live long enough to greet him.

Lady Aziza raised Leopold to be a proper lord of Azkaban. She had been welcomed as the Duchess of Azkaban even though she and Umberto had not wed and she carried out her duties thoroughly and with joy. She often took Leo with her on her rounds when she dealt with the citizens of Azkaban Island as his Regent so that he would know his people and their ways. She taught him to observe their customs along with his three "Rs". And, finally, she instructed him on the duty of providing Azkaban an heir to the Lordship.

Aziza's only disappointment in Leopold was that he was unable to break the curse on Azkaban. But, since he did not speak parseltonge there really was nothing he could do about it.

Leopold hated to disappoint his mother so he decided that if he could not break the curse then he would attempt to produce a child who had a better than average chance of speaking parseltonge. That involved finding a wife who either had the trait in her family or could speak the language herself. Research indicated that there was one such female available although slightly used. And for a man who was raised around dementors, she was not even too terribly ugly. They were married in June of 1929, and settled down to connubial bliss while working on obtaining a couple of sprogs.

His luck being what it was only seemed to compound problems already going full tilt. The lady he had taken to wife had turned out to be a bit of a nutcase even if she came from a 'pureblood' wizarding family. It had surprised him to find her sobbing into her sherry glass one evening as she confessed that only the previous year she had given a muggle a love potion and tricked him into marrying her. Then after she stopped administering the potion to the man he had deserted her and left her to bear their child alone and survive as best she could.

Leo asking what had happened to the child only caused Merope to dissolve into further histrionics as she began drinking straight from the wine bottle. It took him grabbing the bottle away and pouring a goblet of chilled water over her before she regained enough of her sensibilities to explain that the lady at the home she took shelter in told her the child had died.

His asking about the funeral arrangements had Merope crying hysterically again and sobbing about being a horrible person for not making any arrangements regarding the child. Merope was forced to admit that she had sold her last valuable to Caractacus Burke for ten galleons sometime prior to going into labor and she had been completely destitute by the time she had entered the home and begged for help. She had simply walked out of the home the minute she had the strength to do so and had never looked back.

Leopold did not take further issue with Merope's confession. He held her while she sobbed her heart out and whispered things that healed her shattered soul eventually. They did not love each other yet but the seed had been planted when he kissed her tear stained face and told her he wished he had found her in time to save her the heartache of going through childbirth alone and then losing the child. He would do what he could to make things right for her, and that included going back to London and putting a marker on little Tom Marvolo Riddle's grave.

Eventually Merope bore Leo one daughter whom they named Daisy Jane. Her disappointment at not producing the male parseltonge child he needed caused her fragile psyche to fracture again and eventually she became as batty as any dementor that roamed the island. He took her to St. Mungo's and employed the best mind healer he could find.

When Leopold took Merope away from Azkaban he had hoped that the medical staff at St. Mungo's would be able to heal her mind and they could return to the island. Merope had responded well to the course of treatment until the day she sat down to the table with him to eat breakfast and saw the headlines of the paper: LAST REMAINING HEIRS OF SALAZAR SLYTHERIN FOUND GUILTY OF MUGGLE GENTRY'S DEATHS. **_The Daily Prophet _**went on to say that Marvolo Gaunt and his son, Morphin Gaunt, were facing prison terms for killing muggles and resisting arrest.

Merope broke down and had to have her mind wiped of the incident. Leopold then spent the next several years trying to help his wife recover.

Daisy Jane was eight years old when she saw her mother attempt committing suicide. There was nothing else for Leopold to do except _obliviate_ his traumatized daughter also and remove them from Azkaban permanently.

Leopold settled them in a slightly shabby but genteel section of a small town called Spinners End and began easing his wife and child into the non-magical world with the hope that they would escape the madness that seemed so prevalent in women associated with men of the Pendragon bloodline.

Leo and Merope were successful at raising Daisy Jane as a muggle and in 1955 when she married a wonderful man by the name of Robert Evans they gave her a nice nest egg so she could start her married life more comfortably and headed back to Azkaban to maintain things as best he could while waiting for the next generation.

During one of their frequent visits to Spinners End after Daisy Jane's marriage, Leo and Merope had taken a small skiff out on the river and an accident occurred. Leo managed to get Merope back to the shore and to the hospital, but she contracted pneumonia and about a week later she passed away. The **Daily Prophet** reported Merope's death and carried a small obituary stating that she was survived by her husband of some thirty-two years, a daughter, her husband, and two granddaughters.

Thomas Marvolo Riddle saw that obituary and decided that he would find the truth. The women at the orphanage had told him repeatedly that his mother died right after giving birth to him and naming him. The picture the **Daily Prophet** carried of the woman who from all indications was his mother was not completely unfortunate. It just irked him beyond measure that she had left him to rot in an orphanage while she lived the high life with a Duke. He determined to solve the conundrum.

Meanwhile, Lord Azkaban had not been disappointed with Daisy when two years after her marriage she had produced a lovely little blond haired, blue-eyed girl. He was even more pleased when two years after the birth of Petunia, Daisy Jane sent her father another birth announcement; this time for a red-headed, green-eyed daughter whom they named Lily.

Leopold descended on his daughter's house with a heart full of hope both times, and rejoiced both times because the girls were magically strong and both were parseltongues. His optimism knew no bounds after discovering that fact. He was ecstatic to move back to Spinners End during the summers so that he could teach the girls about magic.

Leo's luck ran out completely when Tom got back from his last great magic searching odyssey in 1974. Leo was starting to feel his age even if he was still in good health. He missed Merope's quiet presence and never really recovered from losing her. They had not been a perfect couple, but they had been comfortable friends as well as occasional lovers; it had been a good working relationship which had been too awkward to replace.

When Tom showed up on Azkaban Island and demanded an audience with him, Leo had no reason not to see him. Tom was already rather insane from using so much of his soul to form horcruxes that when Leo did not recognize him as the next duke he immediately whipped out his wand and cast the _aveda kedavara_ on Leo.

Tom did have the blood of Salazar Slytherin in him. He could have actually been the one to lift the curse if things had gone differently; he had the power, the parseltonge ability, but he did not have that certain something that would make him the perfect dark lord.

It took Regulus Black breeding into the Evans-Pendragon line to create the perfect dark lord. What had been missing from Tom Marvolo Riddle was the ability to lead. Harold Sothis Black was capable of leading. His instinctual knowledge of morality, combined with compassion, was a very good thing.


	11. Goblins are more than just bankers

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N # 1: Obviously I write AU. If you want canon turn back now because you are going to be severely disappointed.

A/N#2: I appreciate you helping with fixing errors and asking questions. **Luna shall be Queen! Or, failing that she can marry Harry and shag until she feels better than the queen!**

* * *

Chapter 11: Goblins are more than just bankers!

The Herald at Arms had come down from his position at the top of the chambers and requested that Petunia produce the rings so they could be validated in his **Book of Heraldry**. His eyes had widened excitedly when she replied, "You know full well that the rings and other accoutrement's of the Ducal office of Azkaban reside on Azkaban Island and the Duke will not take up his apparel until he makes the trip even though he is recognized as the heir by Gringotts and has received all of his powers and positions at the attainment of his majority."

The old man nodded. "Well said, Madame. Can you give us a time when your entourage will travel to Azkaban?"

Harry turned around after hearing that question and snarled, "Not bloody likely. We will travel to Azkaban at our leisure and send you notice that we have arrived at that time. I have no love for the Ministry of Magic seeing the way things operate here and I will not be catering to you."

Petunia nodded to affirm her agreement. "I agree with my son. The British Ministry of Magic in conjunction with the British Wizarding world has used and abused the Duke of Azkaban since before his birth. We will not be considering the British Magical world allies until after we have read through the treaties and between Azkaban and Great Britain and judged for ourselves the differences between abuse and artistic license."

Harry, Petunia, Vernon, Dudley and Marge all stood to leave when the doors flew open and Minister Fudge came barreling into the room. He immediately began shouting that the meeting in progress was illegal and if the members did not disband and cease meeting without his consent he would have the whole room full of people thrown into Azkaban.

Harry threw back his head and laughed. Fudge took offense to him even being in the room and demanded that aurors come forth and subdue the upstart Potter heir. The aurors blanched and stayed where they were.

It took Marge standing there and looking straight at him while saying, "Cornelius, you really are an idiot." For him to grasp that something was not right.

He blinked a few times before saying, "Celestia?" When she nodded yes, he continued, "What in the name of Merlin's limp lizard happened to you? You used to be stunning."

The former Marge Dursley looked at the idiot in front of her and spoke dryly, "Magic happened, Cornelius. You know how there are laws in place to protect magicals from harming each other irrevocably? Well, I asked the great leader of the light for help in hiding me from someone who wanted to kill me and he decided that binding my magic would do nicely since I was going to be living in the muggle world."

Cornelius shook his head and turned to Percy. "Mr. Weathersby, could you catch me up on the details of the trial so far since it looks like the Acting Minister Bones has called a recess? Either you lot tell me what in the blue blazes is going on or I just might declare a mistrial."

Amelia had actually been about to call for closing minutes as Fudge walked in. She banged her gavel and stated that there would be a short recess of some thirty minutes while everyone took care of pressing problems. She glared at Fudge and solemnly stated, "If you open your idiotic mouth one more time in here I will personally AK you where you stand."

The Dursley contingent did not want to return to the courtroom and made their way toward Amelia to tell her so. Petunia wanted all five of them to go back to Gringotts where they were to meet a healer sent over from St. Mungo's to start removing all the charms, potions, and instruments of control from the five of them.

Petunia did not intend to reenter public life in the wizarding world until after their medical problems had been dealt with to the best of the healer's knowledge. She knew that it was imperative that she and Harry be treated as soon as possible and reenter the magical world, but she hoped that the other three could have as much time as they would need to gain a grasp of their magic and begin the healing process for their bodies.

Petunia was met at the door by Lucius Malfoy. "Lady Azkaban, I trust that you are on your way to an appointment with a healer for my son?"

Petunia looked him up and down and answered. "IF you get your poncy arse out of the way and stop posturing it will get done much faster. I have done my best for the big miscreant for sixteen years and I do not intend to stop now."

Malfoy bowed to her and stepped back. As Dudley walked past him he was surprised that the boy bent his head in a correct pureblood bow to one's head of house. The older Malfoy had no idea that Celestia and Petunia had been giving both boys instruction almost constantly for the last few days.

The trip to Gringotts was surprisingly easy. The gentlemen of the press and other ministry hangers-on had heard rumors that Harry Potter was in the court room and had exchanged words with Albus Dumbledore who had been removed as Chief of the Wizengamot for this special session. They were all waiting for him to come out. The gossip had not mentioned any of the people with Harry so Dudley's arm around the smaller wizard who had a handkerchief pressed to his eyes, and everyone assumed that the big blond was escorting his girlfriend out.

The trip to the bank went smoothly. The Dursley family stepped out of the Ministry of Magic building into a magically enhanced car with an embassy coat-of-arms on it and was whisked away to the Leaky Cauldron. From there they walked down Diagon Alley and entered Gringotts.

Grimtooth introduced Petunia to Healer Applewhite and said she came with good recommendations. If it was alright with everyone they could retire to the medical facility and begin work.

The healer quickly realized she was over her head when it came to medical treatment of the Dursley family. There was nothing else to be done but wait until she had help before starting with the diagnostic charms and get everyone documented. She blanched at the list of bindings, curses, and charms on the lot of them.

Healer Applewhite and Healer Heathstoke spoke to Petunia first since she was the one with the least amount of bindings and charms. "We can get you completely healed within a few minutes with both of us removing everything at once." They said, "However, that is not our first choice for a way to do things."

Petunia grinned. "Just get it done. I have already worked through most of the memories from before I was obliviated. That broke a lot of the compulsion charms. At any rate I have a few aspirin I can take if the pain gets too bad."

She woke up ten minutes later with her head pounding and tears gushing from her eyes. The pain began to ease as soon as she managed to choke down a pain reliever potion and then she was back out. She had underestimated the amount of manipulation Albus Dumbledore had practiced at her expense.

The other four took the Petunia lesson to heart and did not try to do anything too strenuous. The healers soon fell into a rhythm where they would each remove a curse from the one person then move to the next. After casting a few sets of counter-curses the healers would take a break and talk to them about the memories they were reliving or whatever else they wanted to speak about.

Around the three hour mark Petunia woke up again and was able to function. It was easy for everyone in the room to see just how angry she was at Dumbledore for all the pain and indignity he had caused. The others all agreed that they would help her make him pay. There was just no justifiable excuse for what he had done to all of them!

Surprisingly, Vernon was the next one whom the healers declared 'fixed'. In all they had removed some eighty memory charms from him, several tracking charms, a few compulsions, and three different magical inhibitors, two of them cast by Albus Dumbledore.

Marge and Dudley were pretty well even with all the extra spells and whatnot. Both of them were amazed at the feeling of being clean evoked. They could feel their magic singing through their veins and recognized the fact that they had fed their bodies until they were fat trying to regain that feeling of satiation and satisfaction.

Harry's medical chart was an absolute nightmare for the healers and they finally had to ask Grimtooth if the goblins had a medical procedure that would remove a soul fragment from a living being without destroying that entity.

It had been fun to watch the older goblin rub his little rounded belly like a Buddha doll while considering the problem. Grimtooth considered options for several minutes before he announced that there was one goblin healer who was so versed in esoteric magic that he was a veritable legend within the goblin realms.

Healer Applewhite gave him a pleading look and practically whined, "Is there any chance we can get him to help with Harry here?"

Grimtooth grinned as he picked up a piece of some unidentified meat jerky and bit it clean in two. After chewing and swallowing he spoke, "Considering that the goblin I speak of is my esteemed father there is a very good chance that he will want to help his lordship here."

Harry stood and bowed respectfully to Grimtooth. "You and the Nation honor me, oh Great One. I am in your debt. Please name a reward and if it is in my power to give it to you it shall be yours."

Grimtooth inclined his head at a respectful angle. "I tell you now, young Lord, there are texts in our healer's collection written by human hands that are of no language known to the Nation. It would be a deed of no little value if a parseltongue would view those books and translate them."

Harry did not ignore the tingle of foreboding that travelled down his spine. "Might I ask at least one proviso regarding the translation of these texts, honored father?"

Grimtooth accepted the compliment for what it was. He had heard both Petunia and Celestia tell the boy that it would be proper on his part to offer a blood allegiance to the Nation as part of the repayment of such an important task. For Harry to offer such a binding as partial payment of the debt he acknowledged he would owe increased the standing of Grimtooth's family in the Goblin nation social order. It also insured that Grimtooth's father would do his very best to keep the boy alive while ridding him of the soul fragment lurking behind the curse scar on his forehead.

Both parties recognized the fact that the best offer had already been made. Therefore, it was no surprise to anyone when Grimtooth stepped forward and with a small knife slashed Harry's extended hand before handing the knife to him. Harry made the same type wound on Grimtooth's hand and the two then clasped hands and mingled their blood. Both males being powerful in their own right created a small power surge that once it was absorbed into the wards gave Gringotts Bank a significant power boost to the defensive shielding.

The power surge and the shield capacity increase had several bank guards rushing to the surge location. Grimtooth and Harry were both knocked out cold so the guards immediately took up defensive positions around the perimeter of the room and the captain of the guard sent a youngling down the tunnels to inform Director Ragnarok that the incident appeared to be a family oriented ritual between Grimtooth and the new Lord of Azkaban. He added that he thought it might be prudent to advise the healer of the ritual and had sent a second youngling to let him know he might be needed.

The incident was sorted out and the adoption ritual considered a success of rather some importance. Grimtooth had been congratulated on acquiring such a fine son, Healer Bloodroc, his sire had been doubly lauded and Ragnarok was pleased enough with the deal to send a recommendation to the King of the Goblins that the human family of Grimtooth's new son be recognized by the Goblin Nation.

With that excitement behind them, the humans decided to call it a day with the healing. The Dursley family needed time to rest and adjust to several incredible shocks to their systems. Healers Applewhite and Heathstoke found goblin hospitality to their liking and settled down for a good sleep on a very nice mattress of sheepskins s stuffed with straw.

Vernon and Petunia smiled sheepishly at each other as they settled down on a bed together to rest. Having memory blocks removed had not really changed their feelings too much. After sixteen years together of sharing and caring, they were a unit. They would need to work on a few things. Vernon knew his weight problem upset Petunia because it posed so many health risks. Petunia knew that Vernon still did not quite believe that she loved him as himself; self-esteem issues were going to be a problem for quite some time.

Marge was the one who took having all her memories restored the hardest. She did not want to return to her family where she had been treated as a fuck toy and breeding stock to increase their standing with the Dark Lord Voldemort. She was made of stern enough stuff not to break down and cry, but she did say she liked the name Margaret better than Celestia because she no longer felt like a Celestia, she felt like a Marge and wanted to keep that name.

It took the other four members of her family unit to point out to her that she was a successful dog breeder and handler in her own right and she did not have to return to her birth family because she was fully capable of supporting herself. While Marge considered that idea Petunia made the offer to her that she would be welcome to visit Azkaban Island with her as her travelling companion. Once she had a look at Azkaban Island she could see what was to be done to improve the island's kennels which had once been famous for producing dogs that took to the hunt with thestrals.

Vernon mentioned that he would not mind her keeping the name Margaret Dursley if she wanted to. He and Petunia fully intended to remain Dursleys and while having blood kin was all good and fine, after the sixteen years together he felt that she really was his sibling and did not want to lose her.

Dudley's situation was going to be a lot more complicated than Marge's. He would have to be guarded constantly until he was able to protect himself. He was not helpless and he was learning fast, but no one expected him to walk into Malfoy Manor and hold his own at this particular time.

While the Azkaban contingent rested for the night the goblins held a council meeting. The Gringotts London goblins met with the Goblin King and explained the happenings of the previous day to him. The King was pleased with the bargain Grimtooth and Lord Slytherin had arrived at. He saw the advantages and rewarded his loyal subjects in the standard manner.

He was doubly pleased that Grimtooth's new adopted son had the sense to stipulate provisos while translating the books if they proved to be parseltongue. He knew those books were parseltongue because his father had been given the books by a young witch who was being forced to marry a wizard who had helped control the Black Plague.


	12. Books and Moral Obligations

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N # 1: Obviously I write AU. If you want canon turn back now because you are going to be severely disappointed.

A/N#2: Thank you everyone for the lovely reviews- some of the questions asked already has me rewriting bits and adding stuff. You all ROCK!

* * *

Chapter 12: Books and Moral Obligations

Harry woke refreshed and was ready to face the day before any of the other humans were up stirring. He could feel the blood moving through his veins now that he was not having to generate the energy to fuel blood wards, tracking charms, and any number of other inhibitors.

He was practically bouncing off the walls with the need to release energy so he woke Dudley and asked him if he wanted to get some training in before breakfast. The boys stretched, ran, and lifted weights that they had transfigured from odd bits lying around. By the time the goblins came to take everyone to breakfast they found Harry and Dudley exchanging fisticuffs.

Once it was determined that they were not trying to kill each other the goblins settled in to watch and learn. Goblin history would later mention that 'Boxing', originally started out as a muggle game, quickly became an established part of a young goblin's physical training. It took a few weeks for Dudley to be named an honorary goblin and given the goblin name Rocfist. He was not adopted into the Nation like Harry was, but he later became a welcome visitor in the London warren because he was always teaching and correcting the younglings as they went about training to become boxers.

After their morning exercise and ablutions the boys were dragged off by the healers. Dudley, Vernon, and Marge were taken by a magi-therapist who was documenting the effects of prolonged magical blockage and the intervening medical treatment to stimulate their cores.

Healer Bloodroc dragged Harry off to do several magical tests in order to give a complete diagnostic of the curse scar. After consulting with healers Applewhite and Heathstoke and comparing the results, they were no closer than before to making a decision on precisely how to remove the soul fragment without injuring him permanently. They agreed that it would be in Harry's best interest to finish cleansing him then give him a few days to adjust to his new power levels before making a serious attempt to remove the soul piece from him.

Harry was not worried that the goblins would not find a way to remove the curse scar from him without killing him. The blood adoption ensured they were duty-bound to aid him to the last goblin standing. He figured he would start translating the books so that he could get his end of the bargain taken care of also.

The books brought to him for translation were parseltongue and Harry took a few minutes to look over the covers before explaining what they were. He knew he was in an awkward position when the first book he opened began as: _Greetings to you, oh child of the Serpent King. One of the gifts of the gods is the ability to speak with all serpents. You may converse with the lowly night crawler or match cadence with the ice dragons on Mount Tor. Within the pages of this tome can be found the secrets of the universe; choose wisely those whom you would have as friends and confidants for they will invariably learn from you that which you learn from here!_

Harry immediately stopped reading and asked Grimtooth to set up a meeting with the King.

Some twenty hours later Harry and the books were escorted into the presence of the Goblin King. He knelt and paid homage as the son of a goblin should and waited for the King to speak.

Since the King was usually a busy goblin he did not keep Harry waiting long. "What did you wish to speak to me for, youngling?" He asked.

Harry could not believe his luck. The King sounded reasonably sane and intelligent; two traits not often paired together in the wizarding world. "Great One, when my esteemed goblin sire was asked if it were possible for a goblin healer to aid in the removal of a soul splinter from my head he said he would make inquiries. In thanks for his aid I offered him any aid I could render to the goblin nation if it was in my power to grant it. Grimtooth has asked that these two books be translated into a language which the goblins know in order for the Nation to benefit from the wisdom within."

"Yes, youngling, I am aware of the terms of your adoption. Your sire gave the council the memory and it was observed by pensive."

"My King, would it fulfill the terms of our agreement adequately if I read the books to you and let you judge whether the knowledge should be written down in a language that can be read and abused?"

The old goblin raised one of his gnarled hands and scratched under his chin. He grinned viciously at Harry before speaking, "Clearly you understand the magnitude of the knowledge that has been handed to you. Read me the first bit to me. I will then ponder on what you ask of the Nation."

The request was reasonable. Harry reread the opening paragraph. When he had finished he saw the satisfied look on the King's face and narrowed his eyes. "Is the King amused by me?" he asked without thinking of the consequences should the other take offense.

The King nodded his head. "Yes, youngling, I am more than pleased with you. In fact I rejoice that you stopped reading and brought the books back to me. Everything you have done so far indicates that you are our child of prophesy and are capable of doing what is right instead of what is easy."

Harry was not happy to hear the phrase 'child of prophecy' and figured that rather than pout and sulk about something he did not understand, he might as well find out what the King meant so that he could throw a right proper wobbly. He kept his head down so that the King could not read his visible agitation. "Could you please explain to me what you mean when you say 'child of prophesy'?"

The King stared at Harry for quite a few minutes. He was amazed that the boy never once moved once he realized he was being watched. It just reinforced his opinion that they had located the boy they needed. "There was a goblin prophesy made just before your birth that roughly said, "Look to Egypt for when the dog appears change will be upon the world. There were several lines to the prophesy mainly clarifying the prophesy made by the drunk lady who lives in the tower at Hogwarts."

Harry could not hold back the snicker at the description of Sybil Trewloney. "I took Divination as one of my electives. I know exactly what you mean. However, in all honesty she did make a prediction that came true, and I know because she made it in front of me. Therefore, I cannot discount any prophesy she makes as total rubbish if it was witnessed and appears in the Hall of Prophesies."

The King merely said, "Good! I am pleased that you know about the human prophesy already and the Hall of Prophesies. It cuts out a lot of background detail." Then he went back to trying to figure out a good way to tell Harry that he only had two choices for removal of his horcrux. The goblin prophecy was rather blunt; either he would die at the hands of the goblin healer and arise whole and ready to begin his new life, or he could wait until the dark lord he was locked in mortal struggle with came to get him and worry about the outcome when it happened.

Harry, watching the emotions flash across the goblin's face knew that whatever it was he was contemplating was not going to be good for Harry Potter's health. He could not resist saying, "Why don't you just start talking and when you are finished I will at least know more than I do now."

The King obliged. "We knew you were the child of prophesy when the house elf that serves the house of Black at 12 Grimmauld Place here in London showed up with a locket he said Master Regulus had died to acquire. Your father left me a stack of parchments detailing everything he knew about the soul shards, also known as horcruxes if you want to use their proper name."

Harry flinched. He did not particularly want to be walking around with a piece of a psychotic dark lord in his head. If dying was what it took to relive him of that problem, then so be it. "How many horcruxes did he make?" He finally managed to mumble from a mouth gone so dry he could barely speak.

The King tapped long pointed fingers on the arm of his throne. "We don't really know how many were made. We think that there are seven because that is a magically powerful number and we already know about four. The first to be destroyed was the locket. We had a peculiar incident when we used the ritual room here in Gringotts to do so, and that led us on a search of all the vaults from which we found a second horcrux which had been anchored into a chalice that once belonged to Helga Hufflepuff. The third horcrux was the diary which you stabbed with the fang of the basilisk a few years ago. The fourth we know of is you. Since four is not a magically significant number we hypothesize an additional three."

"Do you know what Healer Bloodroc intends to do to remove the horcrux from me?" Harry asked in a moderately calm voice.

"There are a few options. My personal favorite is for him to rip your scar open and place a drop of basilisk venom in it. The second option, which is more popular with the rest of the clan, and your humans, is to stop your heart until the thing dies and then attempt to restart your heart."

Harry responded rather blandly to that bit. "Oh good. I was actually worried that you were going to do something that might hurt."

"So which is your preference?" The King was having too much fun with this one.

Harry cocked his head to the side and grinned. "Let's try the basilisk venom. When I was down in the Chamber of Secrets trying to save Ginerva Weasley's life I was bitten by the basilisk when I put Gryffindor's Sword through the roof of its mouth. Maybe the previous bite will act like an inoculation since I received the antidote of Phoenix tears which counteracted the poison and healed the wound."

Harry's casual reference to a dead basilisk caught the King by surprise and he could not hide his interest. "You say you killed the basilisk? And this was what, some four years ago?"

"No, it was at the end of my second year which would make that incident just over three years ago. It really was a big snake. Is it true that the snake was Slytherin's familiar?"

The King was too caught up in other thoughts to catch the end of Harry's question. "Did you do anything with the basilisk after it was killed?"

"No, I managed to get Ginny back to the front of the chamber where we had entered, and after we got past the cave in that stopped Ron from coming with me, Fawkes showed up again and helped us get back up the pipe that we slid down. We came out of the sink hole, I closed it and then we went up to the Headmaster's office. I never did find a good time to go back down."

"Do you think we could go to Hogwarts and harvest the basilisk? There are so many useful parts that we are running short of here at Gringotts that even a small basilisk would be of great help."

"Yeah, if Dumbledore will let us enter Hogwarts. I don't have any problem with going back down into the Chamber of Secrets. I would actually like to have the time to explore down there and see if there is anything in there that Salazar left which Tom might have missed." He rubbed his hands together. "I don't know how acute the sense of smell is for a goblin, but you might want to brush up on your household spells if you plan to go down the pipes. The last time I went down them they were incredibly filthy and there was a pile of small rodent bones at the bottom of the pipe. The whole place has some serious creepy effects."

The King was practically iridescent with glee. "I shall contact Dumbledore immediately regarding the proposed trip. If I have my way we will be headed that way by noon tomorrow."

"Why so soon?" Harry had to ask.

"Because I would like to use fresh basilisk poison on your scar. In terms of those wretched snakes being dead a mere three years is little to no time to worry about. It will not have even started to decompose. The stone it is lying on is more apt to disintegrate first."

"OK. Count me in. We can even try the venom there at Hogwarts. Hopefully Fawkes likes me well enough that he will save my life a second time if he is in a good mood."

"That's the spirit, youngling. Now, head on back up to the room where the rest of your human family is staying for right now and after you eat a good dinner, go straight to bed and get a good night's sleep. We will start getting things ready to move north by eight o'clock. That means you will need to be up and have breakfast before then."

Harry bowed to the King and was waved away. Having the King treat him so normally eased a lot of his fear. Of course it had been very nice of Grimtooth to tell him before their meeting that Bloodroc was the Goblin Queen's brother.


	13. Rocking around the warren

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N # 1: Did I ever mention that I don't get paid for working this gig? Obviously I write AU. If you want canon turn back now because you are going to be severely disappointed.

A/N#2: Thank you everyone for the lovely reviews- some of the questions asked already has me rewriting bits and adding stuff. You all ROCK!

* * *

Chapter 13: Rocking Around the Warren

It was still early when Harry returned to the commune room that the Dursley Party had been given use of until they had all been cleared for travel by the medical staff assigned to their case. Everyone was looking better than they had three days ago when Dumbledore had been on trial.

Reports coming into Gringotts all indicated that Dumbledore would be removed from the posts of Headmaster of Hogwarts and of Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot immediately. He would face separate charges with the International Confederation of Wizards. His Hogwarts Headmaster position would be reduced to administrative duties only and would cease completely as soon as a new Headmaster was accepted by Hogwarts.

Harry was actually excited to see how well Dudley was doing. Between the constant exercise and only normal wizarding meals he was starting to get in touch with his magic. Being a Malfoy without the 'dark wizard' upbringing it was really difficult to tell what his magic would eventually center on. After one particular incident where one of the little goblins almost got carried off by a giant tunnel rat only to have Dudley cast _avada kedavara_ on the rat as casually as he would tie his shoes Harry happily piled on thick to Lucius and Draco later that evening that Dudley now had pride of place as his first minion.

Marge smirked and shook her head over the incident. She, too, was from a dark arts family and found his use of the curse perfectly appropriate for the occasion.

Petunia and Uncle Vernon were doing better also. Their first day back in the wizarding world they had stayed in the room and spent the time resting and talking quietly to each other when they were not needed to lend support to Harry. After Petunia permitted him to blood bond with Grimtooth, it freed her and Vernon up to leave the room and go exploring.

Grimtooth personally escorted Petunia, Vernon, and Marge around the working area of the bank. When they finished the tour he was surprised when Vernon said, "I understand the need to tunnel and the warren is part of the banks defenses. However, if you were to incorporate a muggle device called an elevator in certain sectors and keep them a secret you would be able to justify the small cost of installing them by the diverse usage the Nation could put it to.

The goblin was fascinated with Vernon's idea and insisted that he explain the concept to the whole banking board, and by the time that briefing was over Vernon had found his calling. The man who used to sell drill bits for a living in the muggle world now had the opportunity to educate the magical community on mechanical equipment far beyond the simple block and tackle, or lever and pulley that most of the items in use were based on.

By the time Vernon had finished discussing his observations for increasing work efficiency by connecting certain parts of the warren he had a fascinated goblin contingent asking him if he would like to view their work areas. While he and the goblins spoke of geo-thermal pockets, graded stone, and other fun things, the girls wandered away.

Marge was the one to make the suggestion that they visit the reception floor and see if a goblin was free who could take them to visit their vaults. It proved to be a fun outing if you disregarded the fact that they did not go out, they technically went further in, and down. The goblins on duty knew that the ladies were part of the Dursley party, but bank procedure dictated that they would have to take a blood test to determine which, if any, vaults they were allowed to enter.

While playing in the vaults both women found several items of interest that they just had to bring up for the boys. Along with several books, Petunia found a few pieces of jewelry that she thought would work well also. Marge squealed excitedly as she pointed out to Petunia the Lord of Azkaban engagement rings taking pride of place on a pedestal in the center of the Pendragon vault. From there the ladies investigated each of the sets of rings, binding bracelets, and finally Petunia shrieked and pointed at the Baron's Circlet which Grandpa Leo told her would be necessary for her son's coronation when he was summoned to attend the Queen the first full moon after summer started.

The only other thing of importance that happened that day was the Wizengamot releasing Albus Dumbledore so that he could return to Hogwarts and attend to some special duties that pertained to the Goblin Nation. The only reason he had been released was so the Goblin King could jerk his proverbial chain regarding the basilisk salvage treaty.

The evening was spent with everyone telling each other about their explorations. There was no holding Marge and Petunia back from giving Vernon a blow-by-blow description of as many items in each vault they had visited. The women even cheerfully admitted that they had been allowed to peruse the items in the Malfoy vault although they had received a very strongly worded suggestion that they not remove anything from that vault.

The Malfoy family, Narcissa included, were visiting with them when the subject of vault viewing had been brought up. Narcissa could not control her look of disgust as she commented, "I assume you found something that you would like to claim for your son, then?"

Marge felt no compulsion to play sycophant to the bitch who had once terrified her to the point of giving up magic. Maybe it had been all the purification rituals she had undergone in the last two days, the years of being out on her own living on what she earned. Whatever had changed her, it had removed the fear that she had previously felt. She turned to face the beautiful thin blonde and said, "There was not one single piece of jewelry, book, or item of clothing in the Malfoy vault that I wanted for my son." Then smirking so that her triple chins wiggled she deadpanned, "However, just about everything I saw in the Black vaults and the Pendragon vaults were to die for!"

Narcissa hissed and Harry started laughing. She glared at him and demanded to know what was so amusing.

"Why you are, Dear Lady. Does your husband know you are a parseltongue? Some of the naughty things you have been hissing this evening are beyond the pale of polite society. Even old half-blood Riddle does not cover the topics you do in mixed company."

Lucius, having just taken a sip of 80 years old brandy, spat his drink across the table. "What did you just say, Potter?"

Harry cocked his head to the side. "I am not actually a Potter you know. My mother was quite properly wed to the honorable Regulus Arcturus Black at the time of my conception. My birth certificate states that my proper name is Harold Sothis Black. But, that doesn't matter now. What does matter is that the foul mouthed harridan you are enjoying blessed matrimony with seems to think she has the right to insult me, and everyone in this room without reprisal."

Lucius blinked. "What does your Lordship wish to do about Mrs. Malfoy?"

"Do? I don't want to do anything to the old cow. I can disown her from the Black family and make you solely responsible for her actions. After all, if you don't know what she is saying, you certainly can't claim to be accountable. From the moment she walked through the door she has ridiculed and belittled everyone and everything in the room with her incessant whining about those not fit to sully her pureblood shoes."

The tears of anger glinted in Narcissa's cold blue eyes but she refused to beg for mercy. "Disown me if you must. I shall not falter from my final destiny."

Harry shook his head. "You cannot seriously believe the codswallop your precious Lord Voldemort spews. That thing is not even human anymore. I had a dementor tell me just yesterday that the few pieces of his soul which are still bound here on earth are less than a third of what he needs to be rational. He is little more than a magical construct at this point and he is crazier than a shit house rat."

None of the Malfoys were expecting that diatribe. All three sat, stunned, with their mouths hanging open.

Finally Lucius asked, "You actually spoke to a dementor?"

Harry gave him the 'duh' look. "HELLO? Duke of Azkaban? Ring any bells with you? There are approximately one thousand one hundred of them floating around. Most of them are little more than shadows waiting for me to return and end their cursed existence. Of the ones whom the Ministry has corrupted and forced into doing vile unspeakable things there are roughly eighty-five left."

Everyone stopped what they were doing and leaned forward to listen while Harry spoke of the dementors. Petunia finally got the discussion rolling again. "So, you translated all the journals I had for you. What else do you know about the dementors?"

Harry laughed. "Now is not the time to discuss dementors. We should get back to what is to be done with Lady Malfoy and her filthy mouth."

Dudley stood up from the table, "Father, Step-mother, my family. I beg you excuse me from the table. If I remain here I shall not be able to control my actions and that would be awkward because I cannot take sides in this issue. I do not have enough magical education to make an informed decision regarding the discussion and therefore would simply be biased toward my cousin because he has been more constant all my life and I do understand and trust him."

The flush on Narcissa's face could not be spelled away. "Am I to be taken to task by all the children here, my lord?" She snarled imperiously as she glared at Lucius.

The challenge did not go unmet. "You do dishonor my father with your churlishness, Mother." Draco interjected with all the nonchalance of a seasoned gossiper. "I am quite proud that you would love me so much that you would threaten to kill any child you see as a threat to me being the Malfoy Heir. However, I do have to take issue to the fact that you threatened a lowly concubine."

Marge narrowed her eyes at him and had him hastily adding, "No offense to you, Madame, but that is what your title was- concubine."

This time she smirked. "Let me clarify then, Young Malfoy. Concubines are never 'lowly'. A true concubine in the magical world is educated, articulate, and has a veritable arsenal of diversified talents. The only thing that detracts from us becoming a first wife is our lack of magical prowess with the wand."

The enraged hiss from Narcissa and the uncomfortable readjustments of Lucius let Draco know that he had received the message as intended even if it were stated delicately. His flushed face let everyone know he got the message. "I read the Malfoy-Rockwood Contract and it does state that birth order would be a consideration when determining the Malfoy Heir. It also stated that ultimately the magically most powerful of the candidates would be named the heir. Although I am not at Duke Azkaban's power levels," here he nodded toward Harry, "my magical core is not insignificant. I couldn't be as I was bred from two such powerful lines."

At which point Marge jumped into the conversation again and let the whole room know exactly why Voldemort and his merry band of dead brains were SO wrong. After emphatically stating that no one closer than second cousins should ever marry and procreate, and then only every few generations. She began explaining exactly why by using her beloved dogs as examples.

By the time Lucius and Narcissa took Draco home they were beyond terrified regarding the in-breeding that was rampant in the wizarding world and had determined that if no muggleborn witch would have Draco, he was perfectly welcome to marry a muggle.

As they slept that night little strands of DNA danced in their heads. They both had nightmares of children born with defects worse than the thalidomide disaster. They no longer viewed the wizarding world as a bastion of gentility while the muggles were ignorant savages. It had been hammered home with a sledge hammer that the muggles were intelligent, curious, dangerous, and quite often as amoral as the wizarding world.


	14. Reaping the Harvests

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N # 1: Obviously I write AU. If you want canon turn back now because you are going to be severely disappointed.

A/N#2: I appreciate you helping with fixing errors and asking questions. A big thanks to **reader1writer1** for some excellent help.

* * *

Chapter 14: Reaping the harvests.

The trip to Hogwarts was arranged and carried out with full military precision. While Marge was keeping Voldemort's number one spy enthralled with a crash course in Genetics, Global Strike Forces could have taken a lesson from the goblins on how to deploy troops. One minute the goblin contingency was checking off the last of their lists and then they were grabbing the portkey to take them to the drop off point that had been agreed upon earlier that night. No one who was not directly involved in the project saw anything.

The Goblin King had sent a team ahead and had them set up a base camp from where they would process the basilisk without the danger of working in enclosed or unsafe conditions. He had told Harry the truth when he said he needed to be up and ready by eight. It had not been necessary to send Harry with the advance team. Therefore, Harry did not go with the advance team.

Eight o'clock the next morning found Harry managing to stand on his feet thanks to the travel lesson Marge had given him and Dudley just before bed last night. Dudley, travelling with him, staggered but stood also. Marge had explained that when working with the goblins it was important to keep on your feet because to fall was a sign of weakness that oftentimes led to a power struggle. It was simply easier to let them think that one stood because of the strength of one's magical core rather than a simple case of disorientation.

Harry and Grimtooth let the Captain of the Guard knock at the door and request admittance to the castle proper for them. The goblin bowed slightly to Dumbledore who was waiting in the great hall to greet the goblin contingent. As he stood he presented a scroll to the headmaster. "Our Nation's King sends his regards. He has asked that you take a minute and review the contract that the two of you agreed upon when you spoke through the fire yesterday. We have come to salvage and process the remains of a basilisk which was killed by one whom the Nation recognizes as both friend and family. If you have any other requests of the Nation they will be considered at the proving."

Dumbledore opened the door and waved the small party in. "Come in, come in. Let us sit and draw a steady breath while I read and set my seal to this document which the Goblin King has so graciously written to legalize this transaction."

Harry's eyes narrowed as he glared at the wording the old man used. Recognizing that there might be trouble later if he skipped any part of the salvage process he stood and cast _sonorous_ on himself. "I, known and recognized here at Hogwarts as Harry James Potter, come knowingly to claim salvage rights to the basilisk which I slew with the aid of Fawkes, a Phoenix, and the Sorting Hat, a magical construct which delivered to me the Sword of Gryffindor by which means I delivered the killing blow to the basilisk. I received no aid in destroying the beast from human hands although Ronald Bilious Weasley had attempted to aid me, but was stopped when part of the tunnel we were in collapsed trapping him on the other side of the fall."

He took a breath and began again, "I know of no human besides myself who has a claim to the basilisk carcass. I will, however, ensure that because of the location and the other people involved in the incident, make reparation payment to Hogwarts from the proceeds of the sales, and will donate to certain individuals compensation for their time and effort in aiding my successful mission."

Dumbledore slapped the parchment down on the table and began to read. He was vexed with the King's audacity to send the paper to begin with. He hated it when he was limited to certain terms when handling treaties and this could have been a lucrative deal had he not had to follow protocol.

But, follow protocol he must. He called for Minerva to bring his small pensive so that he could pull the memory of their conversation and compare it point by point with what the King had written. He called for refreshments for everyone while he organized the verification team. He could not even use the people he normally would because he had Professor Flitwick standing there saying he would handle the pensive memory since it was his specialty as a Charms Master. The goblins had then provided their Pensive observer and then requested that he name an examiner for the contract. Of course Severus Snape just had to volunteer to do duty for him…

None of this was going the way he wanted it to. Harry was supposed to help him, not be one of the bad guys. Where had it all gone wrong? That blasted prophecy had a lot to answer for. He had spent some sixteen years trying to get it to end favorably and now he had this mess blow up in his beard!

Once the paperwork was taken care of all the team had to do was go up to the second floor and open the bathroom sink. The goblins found it vastly amusing to slide down the pipe and with little more than a desire to have a great deal of fun they quickly found a tunnel that led out into the forest extremely close to where the base camp was set up.

It soon became apparent that the goblins were making extra trips out through the tunnel just so they could come back in and jump down the pipe. How Dumbledore really felt about that was subject for another day. It really was not comparable to the water slide at Six Flags over Texas, but some days it is just the little things that count.

Every bit of the carcass that was usable was salvaged and accounted for. Even with the paltry sum of 20 percent of the proceeds going to Hogwarts, the school was set for several decades. What really caused Dumbledore to become emotionally distraught was the way the rest of the beast was divided: Harry took 20 percent, the Nation took 20 percent, the Victims of the basilisk was given 20 percent, and the last 20 percent was put into a trust fund from which other magical British schools, hospitals, and orphanages could receive aid when needed.

When the Victims found out that Harry had set up a trust fund to fund different charities from the sale of his basilisk they too decided to put money into the fund. The fund got an even bigger boost when Colin Creevy and Ginny Weasley wrote a series of articles and took pictures of the Chamber of Secrets.

There was just no way that Albus could hide the Chamber of Secrets and use it for anything other than what it was probably originally intended for after the articles were published. The children loved to play on the slide as much as the goblins had. Hogwarts took it upon herself to build a small block fort at the end of the tunnel where the children could make their way out of the chamber and walk back into the school through a small courtyard.

Eventually the basilisk was rendered down and sent out into the world to be used. Harry Potter became even more wealthy than he was previously and the Potions Master Snape could be seen wandering the halls at random times muttering about some people just have all the luck while others who work all their lives have little to nothing to show for it.

But, again, all of that was for a different day. At this point Grimtooth and Harry were upstairs in the Hospital wing speaking to Healer Pomfrey regarding the possibility of her performing the operation to remove the horcrux from Harry. Poppy was not thrilled that she was being asked to stop someone's heart, but she did recognize that they had a valid plan. She also felt that it would be in Harry's best interest to not have the procedure done. At least that is what she said.

As she was telling Harry and Grimtooth that while the idea had merit she could see no real way to accomplish the task. Harry would simply have to go to St. Mungo's and see what the people upstairs in spell trauma could do for him. Then she handed him a prescription for pain medications and told him to have it filled at the same time.

Harry caught on to what she was really doing and stopped arguing with her. "I really wish you would do this for me, Poppy. I trust you like my own mother."

Poppy laughed. "I don't need flattery, Harry. Now get out of my office and if your head is hurting I suggest you go get some pain potions from St. Mungo's."

Grimtooth played his part. "I do not see the logic of you sending my son to a different hospital when you could do the operation here just as easily." He snarled.

Poppy Pomfrey had lived a long time at Hogwarts and knew most of what went on around her. For several years now things had not been right with Albus Dumbledore and his Harry Potter obsession. She had known from the first that there was something off about the little boy that Lily and James brought in for her to admire. The child's magic simply did not match that of his supposed parents.

Lily told her later that the baby had been born at the hospital the same day she and Petunia had been taken to the hospital after being in an auto accident. Poppy knew that the pregnancy dates were not correct so she did a bit of digging at the hospital where the Evans girls had been taken. She left there seething mad that Albus Dumbledore would play with people's lives the way he did. There was no way she could fix the problem either without letting him know she was on to his game.

Poppy had been keeping a detailed journal of all the abnormalities at Hogwarts and passing the notes off to her friend Augusta Longbottom to feed the information to Algie Croaker, an Unspeakable who worked at the Department of Mysteries downstairs in the Ministry of Magic.

Harry and Grimtooth went back downstairs to where the goblins were just finishing up the project by cleaning the site so that none of the blood or venom would be accidently ingested by someone in the Chamber later. Most of the contingent would be staying at the base camp for at least another day, but Harry, Grimtooth, and Dudley would head back to Gringotts London just as soon as the reinforcement guard for the project site showed up.

The reinforcement guard was right on time. They showed up some fifteen seconds after Voldemort and a bunch of his minions apparated in on the site.

Harry walked out of the tent and encountered the self styled dark lord. He was in pain from being that close to the source of most of his headaches disregarding the possession. "Hey, Voldie, figures you'd show up after all the work is done. What can we do for you?"

Voldemort's red eyes gleamed with anger. "I just came away from a discussion with a friend of ours and I want to kill you because I am tired of your constant interference."

Harry just shrugged, "OK, I was actually on my way to see a friend about helping me kill myself, but this will work just as well probably."

Voldemort was usually very long winded about this sort of thing, but it is not often that one's mortal enemy gives them permission to kill them. He decided to quiet down and get the job done. Without further thought as to why someone would want to be killed he raised his wand and incanted _aveda kedavara. _The spell hit Harry right where it did the last time. The results were also rather like the last time.

Harry stood there screaming with blood trickling down his face and Voldemort was writhing around smoking and steaming as he got smaller and smaller. Dudley, being the smart arse twit he usually was, started singing, "Ding dong the witch is dead, which old witch…"

He did turn and catch Harry as he started to tumble though. He was just in time to witness the curse scar on Harry's head emit a strange black tinged cloud that screamed also then seemed to shatter into ashes carried away by the wind.

Healer Bloodroc peeked his head outside of the tent and snarled, "Get him in here so we can monitor him. We have a lot of work to do on that boy before he is completely healed."

Dudley scooped Harry up and carried him back into the tent. While all the death eaters were watching their lord and master discussing the weather and other topics with Harry the goblins had been binding them tight with goblin magic and portkeying them off the site and into a lovely reception area just outside the goblin holding cells.

Some ten minutes after the main batch of prisoners were escorted up from the goblin cells and walked publically through Diagon Alley and into the Leaky Cauldreon. From there the political prisoners were escorted to the Ministry of Magic where they were escorted to another set of cells while they awaited trial by the Wizengamot.

The march of shame of some twenty prominent wizards dressed as death eaters by goblins dressed for war had captured a lot of attention. One such person happened to be Petunia Evans Dursley. It took her all of five seconds to figure out what had happened. It took her another five seconds to spot Lucius Malfoy in the line and that was when the shit hit the fan.

Lucius Malfoy learned the folly of his ways when the skinny, horse-necked witch moved right up into his face and began screeching. The gist of the rant was that since he was such a stupid two-faced, manby pamby, mealy mouthed, inbred, homicidal maniac that she would never relinquish custody of her son to him and furthermore when her boys got back from Hogwarts she would be filing legal action against him to remove the other son from his custody since he was forever spending his vacations from reality in various jails while his stupid slut of a wife committed adultery, or was that bestiality, with a pseudo snake.

It then became a bit of a game for the people in the alley to name all the death eaters in the line up. Marge had instigated the game while Vernon was writing down various bets as a bit of fun on the side. It turned into a 'kodiak' moment when Marge became excited and started waving and calling at her father and older brothers.

For some reason Rockwood Sr., did not really want the whole of Diagon Alley to know he was a death eater that had just been caught again. He was so cross in fact that he stepped out of line and tried to kick her.

That turned out to be a waste of time because the next thing he knew he was suspended upside down and the draft that usually swirled under his robes was now chilling him unmentionables. Needless to say that sight did more to scar the psyche of the inhabitants of the alley than any death eater attack could ever have wished to do.

Marge simply made the comment as she did the _flippindo_ spell and set him back on his feet that when her dogs picked up fleas and such she decontaminated them posthaste. It would appear that the last sixteen years of being gone from the wizarding world had not cleaned some of the inhabitants up at all. Maybe part of the terrifying image of encountering a death eater was the fear of being infected by tiny livestock?

The ladies would have probably stayed to get a little more of their own back but the sight of Grimtooth showing up without Harry and Dudley set off Petunia's parental instincts and she immediately nudged Marge and inclined her head in his direction. They turned and followed him back to the bank without asking any questions. Somehow they just knew that whatever it was he had to tell them it was not going to be as welcoming as most of the news they had been hearing lately.

The sight of Harry lying on a hospital gurney was not Petunia's first choice of 'meet and greet your only son'. The only reason she did not go into panic mode was the fact she had seen Death pick the boy up and throw him back out the door more than once. For some reason the Grim Reaper did not want the child known as Harry Potter and no matter how miserable and painful the boy's wounds were, he always got sent back from 'there' with a large metaphorical rejection stamp slapped on him.

So, taking a deep breath to compose herself, she threw back her shoulders and marched across the room to where Dudley was sitting beside him, shoulders hunched and tear tracks visible on his pale drawn face. "You might as well stop crying, Dudley. If growing up in our house did not kill him a stupid spell fired at him is not going to do the job."

Dudley looked up at her, a wan smile flittered across his face as he processed what she had said. "Mum, he didn't even think twice about it, he just went out to meet the snake man and the sick bastard just threw the killing curse at him as easily as you put sugar in my tea cup."

Petunia grinned at him. "Son, putting sugar in your tea cup has always been a lot of work. I either need to cheat and use a serving spoon before I bring the cup to the table or I just scoop sugar into the cup and add tea."

Marge, standing beside the indomitable Petunia, heard them bantering gently and felt a small flash of jealousy that she had not been equal to the task of raising this child. She knew in her heart of hearts that she could have tried harder to keep him with her. And then the spark burnt out and she was looking at the boy whom she loved to call neffy-poo simply because he wanted everyone to recognize him as a hulking big lad. She had been there a lot while he was growing up and had done her share of damage while contributing to his delinquency. It really was only due to Harry, dementors, and boarding school that Dudley turned out ok.

So, there they were back to gathering around a sick bed waiting for news. Healer Bloodroc had cast several spells which the healers at St. Mungo's were not sure were even legal, but if they kept Harry alive then no one was going to argue with him.

Vernon was another one who really believed that Harry would be fine. He had seen the boy conquer insurmountable odds ever since he came to live at Number Four Privet Drive. The ladies pretended for each other. Dudley just desperately clung to the fact that Harry could not quit now that he was so close to winning. And then Draco Malfoy, who had been waylaid by Dobby, walked in on the family and all hell broke loose.

The first thing he did was tell everyone to get up off their dead asses and do something positive. As they all stared at him in shock he smirked and said, "Potter has been in the hospital more times and longer than any other student in our year. All he is doing is sleeping and rebuilding his magical core. I have seen him like this twenty times already and will probably see another hundred before our lives are over. Now, put some positive energy into this room."

The goblins saw the wisdom of what the young Malfoy was saying. Maybe a good party would generate enough energy to rejuvenate Harry faster. They actually had something to celebrate. The sale of the basilisk parts would make Gringotts London the top quarterly earner for all Gringotts banks and would probably be enough over the next quarter to make them top yearly earnings for the system also.

Grimtooth was called in and the situation was discussed. A party was definitely in order. He decided that the party would start in the Gringotts lobby and spread out into the Wizarding shopping district. The ambient magic levels always surged when the magical world danced properly. His theory was that cross species dancing and singing should make for some unprecedented energy spikes. It might even raise the protection levels of the wards guarding the alley from the muggle world.


	15. Party in the Alley

Disclaimers: Yeah, I know. JKR would have done better with books 6 and 7 if she had followed our fanfiction ideas more closely. It is just better that I go ahead and write AU...

* * *

Chapter 15: Party in the Alley

And that is what Harry awoke to some five hours after he had passed out from the pain in his head. The magic was beginning to sing in his veins and he knew that Voldemort's horcrux was gone from him consciousness. That alone had him standing and trying to join the fun.

It actually turned out to be a rather nice party with everything everyone had to celebrate. Voldemort had once again been slowed down, several death eaters were once again in custody, the basilisk would bring some measure of prosperity to the British wizards, and the Nation was celebrating because one they had adopted as one of their own had brought them much joy and prosperity with his gifts to them.

Much as he was enjoying himself, Harry's energy was not at a level where he could do any serious carousing. He soon found himself sitting at a table while friends and family swirled around him. It was almost disconcerting to see Draco dancing with Hermione Granger.

Then the reality of what he was watching hit him and he could not help but yell, "Hey, Draco, dance Hermione over this way so I can explain to her what you are up to."

The blond grinned and headed toward him. Without further ado, he plunked down in the seat beside Harry and tugged Hermione down in his lap. It must have been one of those instinctual things because Hermione's face flamed as she remembered all the times she had jealously watched Pansy Parkinson sitting in exactly the same spot.

Harry could read her like a book and figured that it would only make things less difficult if he got things out in the open for them. "I see you two are finally trying to be friends."

Draco pinched her butt lightly and said, "She's a little easier on the eyes than most of the Slytherin girls and a whole lot easier on the brain cells."

Hermione decided that two could play this game. "Well, you are a small improvement on Ron Weasley, but overall you would fit comfortably into Gryffindor."

Draco pretended to be affronted. "What do you mean by that?" He huffed in his best 'Lord of the Manor' style.

She was outright laughing as she stated, "Well, the rest of them are also bumbling, inept, sex crazed, lack wits. You are, however, easier on the eye than gingerbread men and chocolate bonbons." This was delivered with a slow wink in the direction of the Weasley twins and Lee Jordan making their way toward Harry.

All four of the boys acted sorely wounded as she smirked and resumed her usual chatter with Harry. It was another fifteen minutes or so before Harry looked around and asked if anyone had seen Dudley.

Draco's face paled and he looked at him with terrified eyes. "Please don't think I am here because I was sent to distract you while they took him." It was easy enough to see that Draco was telling the truth. The boy was just not that good an actor. "Really, Harry, the only reason I am here is to spend time getting to know you and Dudley and your friends. I did not have any other motive. Father and Mother both took what Aunt Marge said to heart and are looking into various other avenues open to the wizarding world."

The twins looked from Harry to Draco and back. "Are there things you need to tell us, Little Brother?"

Harry shook his head 'no' while saying, "the Malfoy family had dinner with the Dursleys last night," here he broke off and exclaimed, "Was it only last night, Draco?"

"Yeah. Time just seems to fly around you though so…"

"Harry!" was said as a bit of a reprimand by Fred.

Harry blinked dazedly at them. "The subject of blood purity and magical core strength came up. Aunt Marge wiped the floor with all of Voldie's crap arguments. She explained the effects of in-breeding in so much detail that I still have visions of my DNA twining with Pansy Parkinson's to make a litter of pug nosed little wizards that look like Crabbe and Goyle."

Hermione giggled. "That explains why Mr. Malfoy is 'exploring a friendship' with me. He is hoping that if we marry and reproduce the children will be strong like the other outstanding half-bloods of our world." She smirked evilly at Draco and added, "Just think, darling, our little boy will have frizzy blond hair, buck teeth, and ferret features. With any luck though no one will laugh because he will most likely be the next Dumbledore, Riddle, or Potter and kick their arses for attempting to laugh at him."

Draco sighed happily and pulled her closer. "So, you set the day, dear, and I will tell mother that everything will work out fine."

Harry eyed the two of them before mentioning, "There is also the fact that Hermione is going to be receiving a fair bit of gold in the near future due to the fact that I set up a reimbursement fund for the victims of the basilisk back in 1993."

"Well, if I have my own money then I won't have to put up with Malfoy to get some." Hermione stood up and shook her robe out. "I suppose I shall go back to dancing. If I hear anything regarding Dudley I will let you know immediately."

Harry and Draco stood also. "Let's walk around a few minutes and see if we can find him before we try to raise the alarm of him going missing." Harry was trying to be the voice of reason, but he was unhappy.

"I think it would be a good idea to ask the goblins if they have seen him before we start screaming for help." He said again only seconds later.

"OK, Harry. We will find a goblin and ask what they know. Then we will try to find Dudley. If he is not back in the room in five minutes we call an alert and hopefully we can get the aurors in here to do magical signature traces and everything else necessary to get him back."

Draco jerked him toward the dais where the Goblin Queen was lounging. Harry was allowed to greet her as part of his extended family but felt that the first time he met her he should adhere to full diplomatic protocol. The other boys with him went to their knees and bowed their heads to expose their necks to her per his example.

She actually had a rather nice voice for a goblin and greeted them personally as Harry presented first Draco, then Fred, George, and then Lee. The Weasley twins were surprised when she reached out a slightly gnarled claw and traced an invisible rune on each of their foreheads before chuckling lightly and saying, "Young Weasleys by the look of you. It is not often I meet those chosen by Loki personally. You should be proud of yourselves, use your gifts wisely, and never intentionally harm another without provocation."

Anything else would have been anti-climatic. Harry went straight to the crux of the problem. "Majesty, we know that not much happens anywhere that the Nation does not see. It has come to our attention that my brother, Dudley, might be missing and in harm's way."

The gesture was oddly elegant from the old female as she pointed toward a bench almost completely hidden behind a slightly raised wall meant to set off a small garden in front of a knickknack store. Dudley was sitting on the bench and seemed to be totally engrossed in conversation with a tiny blond girl that Harry would recognize anywhere as Luna Lovegood.

All five of them sagged in relief. Harry stepped forward and touched his forehead to the back of her hand, much like a man would greet a woman with a kiss to her knuckles. He remained in kneeling in front of her until he heard her say, "Arise my little scar-headed scamp. Go draw Dudley back into the group."

"Yes, Majesty. Harry said as he stepped backward.

The boys all went to Dudley and surrounded him and Luna. Harry decided to have some fun and tease Luna. "Luna, I saw you sitting here flirting with my cousin, and I have to tell you that if your intentions are impure I am going to have to call you out."

Her eyes lit up and she giggled wildly. "Oh, Harold, you say the sweetest things. I was just telling Abraxis," here she patted Dudley on the arm, "That you have been the truest, most wonderful friend I have ever known."

Harry rolled his eyes slightly while Dudley just grinned and shook his head. "It figures, I find a beautiful fae lady like mummy, attempt to woo her and all she can do is sing the praises of another who is my rival for her affections."

Luna looked at Dudley again. "You are going to be a wonderful catch for some girl once your magic fully returns and becomes fully aligned. I should not wonder that Cho Chang, Ginerva Weasley, and a few other beautiful girls don't set their sights for you.

Dudley seemed oddly pleased as he said, "But not you. Will you not look to me later when all the others leave disappointed?"

Her face lost all teasing expression. "Abraxis, do you know the story of King Arthur and Guinevere?"

His face paled slightly. "Yes, all British school children are taught the legends of King Arthur. Are you saying that you already know who your soul mate is and that I do not stand a chance?"

Harry had one of those clarifying visions just then. If Dudley was not distracted from this train of thought Britain could well be looking at another Dark Lord from the Malfoy line. The only thing he could think of was to make a Monty Python type joke about it. "Yes, Dudley. Luna is saying exactly that. Before us Camelot recreated. But not exactly what you originally thought. I am Lancelot and you are Guinevere. She is only Arthur reborn this time, her memories intact, and she will not come between our love this time."

Dudley's eyes flew open and he squawked like a chicken. Then without further ado, he cut loose with an enraged bellow and shouted, "Oh! You are so dead now, Potter. After him, boys! This time I am going to beat the stuffing out of the little four eyed freak!"

The chase was on and everyone simply stopped what they were doing and watched the Malfoy brothers bond with the Weasley twins while trying to catch the youngest snitch in a century. The snitch had been honed to a state of fighting perfection though and while the others intended play fair he headed straight for his new aunt, namely one Goblin Queen.

The Queen hadn't had such a nice time with humans in ages. In honor of Harry demanding protection she decided he would be treated the same as any young goblin warrior would when he ran to his mommy for help. He had to wear a little goblin veil and crown of tunnel flowers while sitting with the Queen.

The situation had not happened in some forty years and the Queen decided to play also. Harry found himself sitting quietly by her feet while all the younglings came by and practiced their pretty compliments to the ladies.

It had been too much fun for him to be angry with either Dudley or Luna over the incident. The twins had even stood in line to practice their compliments. They couldn't really make up their minds what they really wanted to say so the whole speech came out in their usual patter. The Queen and Harry were vastly amused to know that their teeth were bright enough to glow in the weak tunnel light, their cute little furry pointed ears were a source of great visual pleasure, and their delicate voices were as exquisite as a nice tunnel cave-in.

It had been Harry who rolled his eyes drolly at the Queen and dead panned, "Yes, we are unusual paragons of feminine goblin beauty. Nonparalledl one might even say. Do you think we should send these buffoons away until they have learnt how to dwell in the presence of true beauty without reverting to their usual childish gibbering?"

The Queen idly waved her hand for them to step away as she smiled down at her new court favorite. "I fear we shall never see them again if we do that."

The twins, still in the spirit of the game, sobbed dejectedly as they were herded away from all the little goblins. They could only hope they had given the little buggers a dozen new ideas on how to compliment while maintaining integrity.

Grimtooth did not try to rescue Harry from the Queen and her training session. It was a well known fact in the Nation that the Queen loved the babies and would take any opportunity to be surrounded by them. He reckoned that Harry was either a seer or part empath to know how to manipulate the situation so suavely.

Luna, however, was not doing so well. She had not meant to give the game away so early or so badly. If it had not been for Harry distracting Dudley from his flirtation the situation would have almost invariably ended in the family spilling blood needlessly. She did not kid herself that she was some Helen of Troy. No, it was worse and better at the same time. She really was Guinevere to Harry's Lancelot. Only it was much more complicated than that; Harry's soul might be that of Lancelot, but he was Arthur… It was going to take some doing this time around, but it was not unworkable. Somewhere out there in the world was the woman Dudley would need to bond with before she could step into the sun. Arthur would have the queen he needed so that Camelot could be reclaimed.


	16. The winds of change

Disclaimers: Yeah, I know. JKR would have done better with books 6 and 7 if she had followed our fanfiction ideas more closely. It is just better that I go ahead and write AU...

* * *

Chapter 16: The Winds of Change

The party in Diagon Alley spilled out into the other streets and most of Wizarding Britain rejoiced that the storm had passed. Most of the intelligent wizards realized that magic was just that- magic. Tom Riddle would have you believe that all there was was power, and those too weak to use it. The real users of power knew that magic was like all the other rhythms of life. There was a natural ebb and flow to the uses and abuses. It was possible to wield great power and never abuse it because the proper procedures were followed. Then there were those who took shortcuts to learning and practicing certain fields of magic. And invariably they were the ones pulled into the nastier side of life and eventually became nothing more than a bad storm in the circle of the seasons.

Tom Marvolo Riddle was just such an example. Harry and the goblins knew he would be back; all of his horcruxes had not been destroyed. Tom still liked to refer to himself as 'The Dark Lord Voldemort' but with the death of four of his horcruxes he must be feeling the toll.

There were magical beings beyond the term of wizard who also felt the winds of change. The gathering had included everyone who appeared at it. Predominant in the species had been humans and goblins. There had also been vampires, werewolves, hags, a half giant, and a few other things that partied with the band but did not sign the guest book.

One of the magical species that had not attended the Diagon Alley festival was the dementors. From the time Harry had gone to Gringotts with Petunia to sort out his inheritance from Sirius Black they all began feeling the pull to return to Azkaban. All of the older, stronger dementors knew what was happening and went straight back to Azkaban to prepare for the coronation of the next Duke.

Harry had awakened the next morning and was informed that it was time for him, his family, and friends to go. His schedule had been set in stone some eight hundred years ago. The urge to head north was a bit of a fairy tale; the truth of it was that each Duke was required by tradition to recreate the footsteps of the first Duke of Azkaban. The original Duke started his trek in London and had made his way north by horseback to the top of Scotland where he then summoned the barge which was hidden in the mists and made his way to the unplottable island somewhere in the general vicinity of the Outer Hebrides.

It was now the middle of August and the first full moon after summer begins was upon the land. Word had been sent to the Queen of England by the Heraldry Stewart of the Magical world that she had a special ceremony to perform this year…

It was one of those incredible nights where the fog hung suspended in the air and gave the whole courtyard the ceremony was being held in a surreal air of otherworldliness much like being underwater. "Harold Solis Black, bow before your Queen." The voice washed over Harry and he stepped forward and knelt in the dew at the feet of Queen Elizabeth II.

Queen Elizabeth II turned to her Aide-de-Magique and intoned, "Please read the details of the sacred charge to Harold Solis Black, who upon completion of his journey north will take up the mantle of the Duchy Azkaban and will begin to restore Azkaban to her former glory in honor of his Queen and Country."

What followed was a five minute speech on the duties and responsibilities of Azkaban. Harry made sure that all four of his relatives paid close attention to the speech. The charges as read would likely never be seen or heard again unless Harry constructed a list and wrote the parchment out so that he remembered all his duties and responsibilities.

He was pleasantly surprised then when the Ducal crown was placed on his head and he felt the magic of the stones in the circlet activate. As each stone lighted Harry was one step ahead of it and it gave its secrets to him. What the crowd did not know was his magic was unlocking the stones as he identified them and named their properties. "Sapphire share you wisdom. Tourmaline…

The new Duke rose from his position after the Queen finished her speech and knighted him. "We bid you return to your home, Duke Harold. Your journey is long and perilous and you have only your magic to aid you. You will be responsible for the lives of all those to travel with you. Love them and cherish them all. You will need each of these people as they each have a special gift that you will have need for. Travel safely, travel swiftly, and may magic always keep you safe and fill you with joy."

Harry lowered his head one last time in acknowledgement of his Sovereign before speaking the words, "As my Queen, Empress of the British Empire, wills it so shall it be done." Then in front of the Queen and her magical court he raised his wand and spoke, "Come to me, steeds of Azkaban."

Unlike most dukes who found they had to wait for several minutes for their summoned steeds, Harry turned and bowed to the pairs of thestrals who pulled phaetons behind them. He praised the thestrals for their kindness to him and after seating his family he went to the back to the line and began loading the goblin friends who wished to come. He was surprised to see Remus Lupin in queue. There were not arguments though, he helped the werewolf into the carriage along with a few other magical beings. In short order they were all travelling at a good pace because the thestrals decided to take to the air and fly instead of trotting along roads imprinted on their memories from when the gods walked among the people.

Harry soon found that the thestrals were almost as much magical construct as they were functioning creature. Since one of his animagus forms was the thestral he found that he could teach them certain things if they had the capacity to achieve the desired result. One of the things he showed them was apparition. It then became a game with the creatures to wink in and out from place to place as they flew steadily north. The thestrals were actually so efficient with the new mode of travel they were developing that they reached their destination which was the Isle of Skye before they were scheduled to land at the warded farm just below Carlisle for the day.

That close to the Arctic Circle, dawn broken just a little after four in the morning. Looking out across the North Atlantic all he could see was fog. Conditions were excellent for him to call up his barge and head out to the island he was going to call his for the rest of his life. He changed back from the thestral form that he had flown north in and helped everyone out of the phaetons.

Petunia and Vernon huddled together in their cloaks and watched Harry as he did what he was supposed to. They were both pleased to see Marge starting to lose so much of her booming bluster and settle in as a real help. It was actually pretty funny at times to see her pushing and prodding the boys much like one would a show dog to get them to do what she thought they should. They were pleased she decided to stay with them because it was becoming more and more apparent that although Petunia had been raised to assume the duties as Lady Azkaban, even as she still had the strength of will to carry out her duties, the poisons she had ingested over the last sixteen years had sapped her physical vitality.

Marge recognized the signs of stagnation as she watched Vernon and Petunia. Maybe it had hit them both so hard because their magical channels had never cut as deep into their blood and bones as hers had. If the two of them were going to live long in the magical world they would have to take up their wands and begin training all over again. Some people wreck their bikes, get up, dust themselves off, and get back on the bike. If you quit trying even before you learn to ride the bike there is not much chance of getting back in the saddle after a serious accident.

Marge took it upon herself to practice all the forms of magic with Dudley when Harry presented him with all his first year books and told him to start working on the program. Around the fifth time they went to Harry and asked him to clarify what the book was saying he realized that he was going to have to make time to get them started. One of the reasons they kept asking Harry so many questions was to hopefully get Vernon and Petunia interested in starting to use their wands more.

The muggle horror movies did not have anything on the barge appearing. It was simply one of those phenomenons where one second the place is completely empty and the next second the barge was there. Harry and Lupin were both rather excited about asking if the barge had a cloaking charm, or did it honestly apparate. They were like little kids in the toy section of Winken-n-Blinken's Baby Shop.

The barge used ambient magic to move. There were some ten excited wizards in the convoy. It did not take the barge long to travel between the two main islands of the Hebrides and set a course just south of Lerwick although they would not go all the way to the Shetland Islands.

The trip was not terribly exciting as far as the view. The North Atlantic just is not that thrilling to stare at for any given length of time. It was during one of those lulls in the conversation that Marge took advantage of to ask a pertinent question and get the air cleared a bit.

"Harry, when you were younger, I think it was the summer before your third year at school, I want you to know that I am ashamed of the way I treated you. I should not have been making fun of your parents all the time the way I did. Anyway, I just want to say one more time that I am sorry and I hope that even if you never forgive me then at least talk to me about it sometime so that you can at least yell at me again, Hell, maybe you can even inflate me again."

The visual of Marge floating away in the sky above Little Whinging never failed to put a smile on Harry's face. It was enough to have Dudley laughing so hard he almost wet himself. He thought it had been funny to watch the obliviators chasing the blimp, but the best part had been when Ripper had clamped down on Vernon's leg and kept him from actually helping her before she floated away.

Of course Remus had to hear the story. It sounded a hell of a lot scarier to him than it did funny. Mostly because he understood what all could go wrong with a human transfiguration. He did laugh about the dog biting Vernon and ripping a perfectly good set of dress pants.

Azkaban Island appeared out of the mists much faster than any of the travelers had thought possible. And with the return of the Duke to the island the glamours that held it to look cold and foreboding fell. The visitors saw a beautiful place heavy with the somnolence of early morning. From the dock one could see fields of canola stretch into the distance.

Petunia had seen several pictures of Azkaban castle and when they were finally close enough to distinguish the buildings apart she squealed like a little girl. There was no way that Harry could ruin her pleasure in this moment so he did not even try. He simply turned to her and said, "Mother, I give you back your birthright. Please come with me to Azkaban castle."

All three men watched her as she dissolved into tears. They all knew that not only was she the happiest woman in the British Isles right now, she was also horribly depressed because she figured that there was no way her friends back on Privet Drive would ever get to hear about her son's title or his incredible new home. It was Vernon who raised an eyebrow in the universal sign that meant something to the effect of 'can you fix this situation?' A small nod from Harry and they were all smiles again.

Docking did not take a great deal of time. Actually nothing about the trip had taken a great deal of time. It had taken Harry less than twelve hours to get from London to Azkaban. The trip had been totally uneventful from start to finish. Where previous dukes had used horseback to reach the northern shores, a trip that could last from a few days to weeks, Harry had used his thestrals and covered the distance in less than one night. He took his charge to deliver everyone who started the journey seriously.

The goblins that had travelled north with him and who had been charged to act as his body guards were almost ready to cry. They had not wanted to leave their tunnels to begin with, but now that they were out they did not want to go back without experiencing a good adventure. A good adventure to a goblin usually involves killing something slowly and painfully. Failing that little treat, their next favorite option involved dragons, blood, gore and death, preferably the other guy's.

Harry saw their crestfallen faces and had to ask what was wrong. It took little time to get the message across that they wanted some good old fashioned violence. He did not know what to do so he just said, "Stick with me, guys. We have no idea what might be waiting in the castle. It has been empty for twenty years. There's bound to be a bad guy or two that needs to be reeducated."

The resounding clash of swords on steel had the local sea gulls wheeling and shrieking in fear. Suddenly it was the best of holidays once again. And the concept was once again introduced to Harry that it is the little things that count!


	17. Inside the castle

Disclaimers: JKR owns the Harry Potter universe. I only play in her toychest but I always make sure her toys are put away properly... And, does anyone actually care if I finish this story?

* * *

Chapter 17: Inside the Castle

The wards around the castle recognized both Petunia and Harry as heirs of Pendragon the second they added their requisite drop of blood to the shield beside the portcullis. The castle seemed to almost be waking from a sound sleep and then it blinked a time or two and the doors and windows were open.

The castle seemed to be one much along the same lines as Hogwarts. It also became apparent rather quickly that it was also sentient. Harry felt the castle infuse itself into his consciousness and he turned to Petunia. "Did grandfather Leo mention anything about the castle being sentient to the point it bonds with the Duke rather than just letting him have the equivalent of a monitor charm so the wards can be evaluated?"

Petunia stopped craning her neck around to see everything at one time. "No. It could be that he always had the bond and did not realize the castle chose the bond rather than the ward monitoring scheme.

Remus Lupin was so excited that he tilted back his head and howled like the werewolf he was always accused of being. His eyes flashed amber as he heard the excited howls of at least two other weres. "Harry," he said after realizing that he might not have heard the answering howls. "There are other werewolves here on the island."

Harry smiled distractedly. "Good, maybe they are a decent sort and will be a nice addition to the castle guard staff."

Remus stood there blinking like a dog that does not quite understand what it is that his pet wants him to do. "You…You… just…"

Harry patted him on the back. "It's OK, Mooney. You discovered their secret and now it is not a problem. I will just let you deal with it."

"yeah, OK, James." Remus did not even realize that he had said anything wrong until Petunia stood in front of him and tugged gently on his tie. "Remus, if there is something here that you are not comfortable with and need to talk about, please do."

"No, I'm good."

"Good! Then do not call Harold James again."

The whole lot of them were just about crazy by then. The goblins wanted to go out hunting for some dinner, if at all possible fresh and warm and dripping blood. Did I mention yet that the goblins really like blood? Preferably the other guy's.

Vernon was looking around with an eye to modernizing the place so that it would not be completely cold and drafty constantly. Petunia was looking around with an eye to making the place more comfortable also. Both of them had taken great pride in the house at number 4 Privet Drive and compared to there this looked like it could do with more than just some triple paned glass in the windows and a dab of insulation here and there.

Marge wanted to start learning everything she could about the place in order to make an informed decision regarding her choice of careers now that she was here and could check things out for herself.

Dudley just gave Harry a cheerful grin and said, "Fuck me running, Cuz. This place might kill me. There are no snack bars within sight of the front door, no televisions in any of the rooms we have seen so far, and not one snack vending machine.

Marge asked the next obvious question. "What would a castle like this be doing with a snack vending machine in it anyway?"

Harry shook his head. "I don't know. I have no idea what kind of castle this even is. I am sure that once I get the chance to go through all the journals around here that I will be able to tell you the exact date it was built and everything else. But, for right now I don't know anything either."

Marge was the only one thinking like a wizard at that moment. "Harry, where are the house elves? And for that matter, where are the dementors? This place is too clean and too quiet. It has not been abandoned, so that means someone or something is here and they are hiding from you."

Harry stopped and looked at Marge. "Aunt Marge, you are a genius at times. That is what I have been walking around here trying to think of. Everything feels right, but there is something about the atmosphere that is off. All the missing sentient beings could be the feeling I am wanting to fix."

Remus looked around. "There are definitely house elves hiding around here somehow."

Harry grinned at him. "Well, I suppose that since the house elves that lived here are no longer part of this then I am able to bring in more if I lose a few, yeah?"

Remus acknowledged Harry's plan was good.

The new Duke of Azkaban gave his first in-house order. "Dobby, Winky? If you two can hear me I want you to come to Azkaban castle because I need you here."

The house elves that lived at the castle were not sure about what they should do. They had deliberately not been visible to greet the new duke. And, instead of calling for them, he had just called two other elves that would probably appear within seconds.

Their terror was almost complete when they noticed the psychotic elf that was dressed like a skid row bum. And the girl elf! She had been drinking butter beer. All good elves know that in order to serve the master and mistress you never touched butter beer!

Then while the Azkaban house elves were watching, the elf that had just been called actually grabbed the Duke and began crying and carrying on like a half wit, abused elf. The house elves watched in horror as the strange boy elf that the master referred to as Dobby stood up and looked right at them. Then he straightened up and began to speak, "You is all bad elves hiding from the master and pretending you is not here. Your master is the great Harry Potter. He helped so much with improving the house elfs lives all those years ago and you treat him like this?"

Eight elves popped into existence as Dobby finished his tirade and stood there glaring at them with his hands on his hips. None of them looked suitably chastised and they glared mutinously at Dobby and Winky.

Harry looked at the elves and then back to Dobby. "They have been here watching us walk around and never once even offered us water to drink?

Dobby hung his head, "Yes, Harry Potter, Sir." Then after giving them all baleful glares he muttered, "And they look down at me and Winky!"

Harry did not need to hear that. "I think that all eight of you can return to your quarters as of right now. I will give you until tomorrow to think over whether you want to work for me and my family. You will do no more work today. Good day, you are dismissed."

Two minutes later wails could be heard coming from downstairs. "Now look what yous be doing! Gets us all in trouble. We bes lucky to not get clothes now!" Seemed to be loudest and most frequent lament from several of the female elves.

The lamenting from downstairs was abruptly quieted when Harry glared around and hissed. "You will be quiet regarding your portioning out blame on who is responsible for this breach of house elf etiquette."

Marge leaned down next to Winky and wrapped an arm around her. "Winky, why don't you go down to the female house elf area and get cleaned up? I have a lovely pillow case just your size that has the Black Family crest on it that Master Harry gave me just for you. IF you can do a good job getting clean then I will let you cook lunch while Dobby smartens up Master's rooms."

The little elf gave an excited squeal and popped downstairs to clean up, remembered that Marge still had the pillow case, popped back up to help her get settled in a room, then popped back down to the baths. She was only gone a few minutes before she was back; clean and ready to work. The whole time Winky was popping around helping Petunia and Marge she quietly hissed about bad elves that could be having fun working if it were not for the fact they hurt the master's feelings by being rude and disobedient.

The other elves soon had enough of Dobby and Winky fussing about the fact that they did not do things right and had not respected the master. They all put ups silencing charms and cried themselves to sleep because being forced to rest when it was not time to really was a brutal punishment for an elf. And they all had twelve hours of it. The new master was lucky they didn't just all die on him being treated like that!

The rest of the morning found everyone settling in quite well. Winky had managed to get the ladies luggage unpacked, pressed, and hung up, the odd bits put away, and then she headed down the stairs to cook lunch for everyone.

Part of the settling in involved Harry making his way to the heart stone room of the castle. There with Petunia, Vernon, Dudley, Marge, Remus , Draco and the goblins looking on he made a shallow cut on both palms and laid his hands on the Azkaban altar while pledging his life and blood to the service of magic and the island.

It had been an interesting experience being caught up in what felt like a whirlwind. It was the standard sound and light show where he glowed a few strange colors, heard voices from another realm, and generally terrified those witnessing the ceremony into evacuating into their undergarments.

Harry almost felt like joining them when he heard the ghostly voice of his ancestors discussing his right to inherit. Leopold Pendragon was the most vocal about him being the one who could break the dementor curse and restore a decent balance of power to the wizarding world. They tested him for parseltongue ability, read his magical signature, and declared him fit to be the 43rd Duke of Azkaban.

After leaving the heart-stone room everyone headed upstairs to rest and relax a few minutes before sitting down to the noon day meal that Winky and Dobby managed to prepare for them. Exhaustion was the next order of business with most of the entourage. Only Harry, Remus, and Draco had the magical reserves to keep going so while the others retired to their new quarters to rest they headed out to explore the island and let the overseer know that the new duke was in residence.

Harry was in his thestral form, trotting around the island with Remus on his back and Draco in his form as an arctic fox trotting along beside the big invisible thing with the very visible man on top of it… It was not a sight that endeared the new Duke to anyone in the village. Especially when Remus asked a few of the screaming women what the problem was. Only a few of the people in the village could actually see the thestral and they were not impressed with the ugly thing either.

And then everyone got upset about the fact that Remus turned around to where Harry was standing and began asking his opinion of an issue. Harry could not take it anymore and popped back into his human form. Then he got chastised for apparating into the village when he was supposed to know better.

He finally had enough of everyone hating him before he even had the chance to do anything wrong. As they were all lecturing him on what he could and could not do he turned to Remus and said, "I am very pleased that everyone knows the Duke's job. So with any luck one of them can get off their miserable arses and do it for me."

The overseer of the estate caught that one and just slammed his head against the building he was standing next to. "Oh no!" he moaned before unsteadily making his way back to the building that read: Estate Overseer for Azkaban Island.

Draco decided that that was as much fun as he was going to have unless he did something to stir it up again so he popped back into his regular form and said, "Excuse me, Your Grace, when the peasants are finished lecturing you, might we get back to exploration of the island?"

"Thank you, Malfoy." Harry said regally now that the gaggle of geese had stopped honking. "It is a capital idea so let us be on our way." Once again there appeared to be nothing there when the strangely ragged man remounted the thin air and rode off with the arctic fox yipping at his heels.

By the time the three returned from their trip around the island everyone else was rested and ready for a light dinner then some serious sleep time since they had been travelling all night and most of them had remained awake.

Petunia had been the only one who could sleep. But, Petunia could sleep through Vernon snoring so being in a carriage some thousand feet up in the sky was not particularly taxing to her. Vernon had made the mistake of looking out the carriage window and realized just how high up they really were. The only thing keeping them in the air was a little bit of magic and some scaly winged horses that he could not actually see. It was not exactly a comfortable flight.

The before dinner activities included a bit of letter writing on Petunia's part and some firecalling various people on Draco's. He had no idea where his mother was, but he knew for certain that she had most likely gone to where Voldemort was once Lucius was escorted back to the ministry for trial. Snape, as his Godfather, would probably like to know where he was.

After the necessary stuff was done, Marge and Dudley spent some time reviewing the animagus spell with Draco and then moved on to other spells that could aid in the transformation. When Draco finally exhausted his knowledge of the spells involved in becoming one, he promptly turned into his arctic fox form and jumped up on Marge's lap for a good scratch behind the ears and a cuddle.

Harry was down in the kitchen helping Winky and Dobby get dinner ready when the Estate Manager showed up and wanted to talk. The man soon found that the boy who inherited the title was not much for standing on formality. He was further amazed that not only was Harry carrying out a discipline session on the elves that live at the castle he was not really too terribly concerned that all eight of them were about ready to revolt over the fact that he knew what do in a kitchen, even one that had not been updated since before Gone with the Wind was written.

When that was pointed out to Harry all ten of the elves just about had their jaws drop on the floor when Harry answered the man with his standard line; "What do I care about a bunch of elves who misbehave? I had no idea when I walked in here earlier this afternoon that I was being judged. We came in tired, hungry, and out of sorts. Did they show up and even offer glasses of water? No. They only popped back in because Dobby and Winky showed up to help me."

The Manager was not a bad bloke. He loved a good story too. So he asked about the trip and where they had started from. He was more than a little surprised when Harry said that he had been crowned by Queen Elizabeth II last night just after full moon and had begun the journey north a few minutes after the Queen gave him her blessings and told him to come north and claim his lands.

"That must have been really something to see." The man sounded amazed. "How did you get here so fast?"

Harry laughed. I read a few accounts of the coronation and the trip north. The basic premise behind having to make the trip is testing the Duke's logistical prowess. There were some ten humans in my contingent and another dozen goblins. I had to get them all here safely. Conjecture states that if I did not get my whole travelling party to the castle whole and sane then I would be unfit to be the Duke."

"And are they all here safe and sane?"

The man snorted coffee all over the table when Harry turned wide eyes to him and asked, "Are you kidding? The whole bloody lot is loony enough to make the mental ward look rational."

"I realize you are young, but have you found your Duchess yet?"

Harry looked around as if he were making sure no one was hiding in the shadows and listening. I have a pretty good idea who my Duchess will be unless I find one here who supersedes her claim as soul mate."

The manager grinned, "Don't wait too on that soul mate business. I have heard that that type of magic increases you magical potential."

Harry grinned and said, "Good. I am going to need some extra magical energy if I am to maintain a castle this size, cook my own meals, and take care of children when I am not doing estate work.

The oldest house elf finally cracked and popped to a space beside Harry. Before he could even start with the begging and pleading to have his job back, Dobby popped in grabbed the elf by the ear and took him away for a good talking to. Half an hour later they both came into the room and Dobby stood proudly beside Harry and made the introductions between Eddy and Harry.

Harry glared at the Head house elf and spoke sharply. "Do not assume that I am in a forgiving mood with any of you. After you have completed your punishment you may come to me and explain why you behaved badly when we entered the castle. Since the castle is sentient and let us enter you should have realized we have a right to be here. I will listen to you at that time."

The elf bowed and returned to his room to finish his punishment. It was a given that the house elves would listen to the Duke from now on. He would apologize first chance he got and hopefully the Duke would return to being the wonderful master the elf Dobby said he was.

Dinner was a slow lazy meal of venison stew for the humans and raw venison and tubers for the goblins. When it was finished they all retired to one of the salons for an after dinner drink and some quiet conversation.

When all was done and everyone in bed for the night Harry called Winky and motioned for her to sit on his bed with him.

Winky was bouncing happy as she jumped up beside him and smoothed out the little wrinkle on her new pillowcase dress. "What can Winky do to help the Great Harry Potter?" She asked sweetly.

"Did you find out why those eight house elves were being so strange?" he asked.

"Eddy say that guards who work with dementors at the prison come by and tell him that a bad master is on way here."

"Why would a guard say that?" Harry grimaced. I really do not like the prison being here. The guards should not have come up to the castle and I am sure that there is something wrong with the dementors that are housed over there. They are just revolting."

Winky laughed. "Call Dobby. Maybe Dobby knows."

Harry shook his head at her antics. She was so happy to have a master and a family again that she acted like a little girl getting ready for school at times instead of a fully grown, trained house elf. He wondered about her for a few seconds, but the only thing he could partially think would cause her personality change was that she knew what he needed and was accommodating his personality.

He called Dobby.

Dobby did not know much more than Winky did regarding the elves revolt because of the dementors. He did not like dementors either and while he had been organizing Harry's books, journals, and other papers that had been a reoccurring theme that the Dukes needed to work on casting the counter curse on the things…


	18. Rude Interruptions

Disclaimers: JKR owns the Harry Potter universe. I only play in her toychest but I always make sure her toys are put away properly... Merry Christmas to everyone!

* * *

Chapter 18: Rude Introductions.

Breakfast at Azkaban Castle seemed to be one of those things that could range anywhere from a peaceful morning with the paper to a full court press in the form of dementors. Today would mark a week of the new duke being in residence. With the exceptions of meals and some moderate exercise, Harry had spent the whole week immersed in researching the journals, holed up in his 'ready room' with the three wizards who were quickly becoming known as his lieutenants: Dudley, Remus, and Draco.

Today also marked a week for all of the dementors returning to Azkaban Island. It was a week without food for some of them and they were obviously not in a good mood. They intended to petition the Estate Overseer for permission to return to Great Britain. Most of them had no respect for the little ragamuffin upstart who pretended he was the Duke. They were irritated to be so restricted, and with the exception of some thirty dementors they all seemed to have forgotten the incident two years ago where over two hundred dementors lost their existence at the hands of this 'little boy'. It was those thirty-plus dementors who were calm and collected regarding the situation.

The castle had been warded several hundred years ago so that a dementor could not affect anyone living within the walls so the large conglomerate of dementors entering did not cause any disruption. The dementors however could be affected by the people. Usually they did not interact with the residents of the castle but after twenty years with no one to talk to except each other they were ready for some quality time with the humans.

The thirty-plus dementors were usually the only ones that gathered in the great hall with the humans as they tended to their meals, but today was different and they all hung back to watch what would happen. This group consisted of the original and oldest of the dementors and they all knew that this duke was different from the previous ones. They all felt his magic and knew that if things worked out correctly their cursed existence was near an end. One way or another Azkaban would change…

As usual the dementors were a bit late entering the room and breakfast had already started when they drifted through the door.

Harry looked up from his eggs, toast and bacon to see several of them conglomerating around Aunt Marge. The very first thing he heard was one of the things say, "Where did he find this fat old thing? Salazar at least, surrounded us with beauty. I cannot abide ugliness. Can you imagine!"

One of the other's laughed, "Oh, Moria! You need to lighten up. Look at these women. They are all hideous. Even the quality of the men has gone from disgusting to outright revolting."

And the tittering of the dementors went on and on as all of them circled the table and made malicious inane comments about everyone until they got to the seat where Draco Malfoy was sitting. Moria started in again with her speech about 'I cannot abide ugliness!'

Draco casually looked at her and said, "So, if you cannot abide ugliness, how do you look in the mirror and justify your existence? I know it has only been about a thousand years for you but really, come on. Your flesh is falling off, you're all bony and scabby, and frankly you stink worse than a full sewer."

He was immediately surrounded by a hundred angry undead women. "You despicable little Hufflepuff. How dare you speak to me like that?" She whirled around and drifted over to where Harry was covering his mouth to keep from laughing. "Slytherin, are you going to let that Hufflepuff upstart speak to me so?" Had she been human it might have been an intimidating sight.

He sat back in his seat and looked at Moria the Dementor before looking back to Draco whose smirk was threatening to turn into outright laughter. "I honestly do not know what you want me to do about him. After all, he did not mention any thing that was not true. The only other thing we can add to the analysis is that most of you washed-up, has been old birds also have the personality of a dead fish and the breath to match."

The breakfast table was treated to a peculiar sight. Dementors can become incandescent with rage. All of them threw the equivalent of a bitch fit and exited in high dudgeon.

Petunia frowned as she watched the dementors leaving. She recalled her grandfather telling her that his only regret was that he did not have enough time to get everything done. He wanted to spend every minute with the girls and teach them everything he knew, but the problems escalating on Azkaban Island took precedence over family. He would have liked to see the curse of Azkaban broken. He had even copied the notes from several of his forefathers into one journal which he called the Azkaban Grimoire, and annotated where the rest of the information might be located. He had determined that in order to break the curse his heir would need to be a male, magically strong, sane enough and a parcelmouth so that the counter-curse could be cast.

One of the few bits of happiness Leo had found while researching the curse and its effects was the discovery that there would always be a direct line for Duke of Azkaban. It would be possible after the curse was broken that the line might die, but it was completely the fault of Salazar Slytherin, 17th Duke of Azkaban that the curse took effect.

Salazar had been approaching middle age without ever having begot an heir. He had tried several times, married lovely women who had been proven fertile, and each time a child conceived after their union was found to be the son of another man. After a dozen tries at acquiring an heir through matrimony, he raised his wand in anger at the conglomerate of beautiful women who had all cuckolded him and swore that he would bed the next female capable of producing a child with him if only the soul sucking hags who graced his boards would be revealed as they truly were.

To bastardize the quote of Johnny Horton, "And when the smoke had cleared away, the mighty Duke went down!" All twelve of the Duke's former wives had been turned into exactly what he envisioned them as. He had created a new species of magical creature: the dementor.

Salazar kept his part of the bargain he had made with magic and married an average looking woman with the constitution of an ox. After marrying the Lady Cassandra, he took her and moved back to Hogwarts where he once again took up teaching since the other three begged him to come back because they needed a Potions Master.

During the time Salazar and Cassandra were wedded she presented him with three sons. All three lads were a credit to their parents and she passed away peacefully after some fifty years of marriage.

Soon after Cassandra's passing Salazar decided that he should return to Azkaban. It did not take him even landing at the ferry to notice that there were horrible problems. He was met at the docks by his faithful steward who immediately told him of the result of the curse.

Any woman who married a resident of Azkaban Island was affected by the curse. If a woman cheated on her husband and conceived a child with her paramour as soon as the child was born she would start morphing into a dementor. It had taken the residents of the island some ten years to work out exactly what was happening. In the meantime some twenty more dementors had been created.

It was not too bad for the town because the dementors tended to congregate in the castle and stay there. Crime was also almost nil on the island because convicted criminals who warranted the death penalty were sent up to the castle and were dealt with by the creatures the locals referred to as dementors.

Salazar did not realize until he was on his death bed that the dementors would not die just because he was. By then he did not have enough magical strength left to cast the counter-curse although he had long since figured one out and written it down. There too he erred because he did not realize he had written all of his journals and work papers in parseltongue.

Having some thirty dementors or so did not seem so bad at first. Then people began to experience some anxiety over the fact that the curse did not lift just because there was a new duke. To make things worse the new duke had almost as much trouble with maintaining a happy relationship as the previous duke. In short, by the time Harry Potter came in to existence some thousand years later there were approximately fourteen hundred dementors.

Over the years there had been a few descendents of the Slytherin line strong enough to cast the counter-curse, but were unable to do so because speaking parseltongue was one of those spotty gifts that could skip a generation or three before reappearing. There had also been a few parseltongues who were strong enough to cast a weak counter-curse. The best thing to happen overall was one of the more powerful normal dukes had developed the _patronus_ spell. The patronus was capable of driving the dementors off, and if a more powerful wizard cast it the patronus was able to destroy the dementor.

Petunia looked over at Marge to see if she was all right. "Did they upset you, Marge?" She asked.

Marge just smirked. "Had they said that to me a week ago I might have broken down and sobbed myself sick. However, I have found that without the magic inhibitors on me I am starting to lose some weight and actually look better than I have in several years. I will just tell myself that they are jealous and not worry about it."

Vernon huffed a bit before saying, "You look fine. Don't let them tell you otherwise."

Petunia patted Vernon on the hand and gave him an approving smile. "Marge isn't the only one looking and feeling better. I think all five of us are doing better."

Vernon could not resist adding, "Well you are always beautiful to me. And, Marge is my sister. I like her just the way she is." Then he looked at the boys, the changes in both Dudley and Harry apparent and added. "Time in the hospital has been good for all us. Of course I am feeling better."

Petunia nodded and cuddled closer to him before asking the next question that concerned her. "Harry, was it wise for you and Draco to be so unkind to them?"

He considered for a few seconds. "I am pretty sure that getting them angry is going to be necessary. Everything we have read in the journals refers to needing to sort them out. We pretty much agree that what Salazar meant was that I need to cull out the ones who need to pass on before I expend energy to transform the others back. I don't want to transform the ones back who I am unable to control at this stage."

"How do you plan to cull them?" Marge and Petunia asked at the same time.

Harry grinned. "At this point I plan to start work over at the prison. There are several questions that need answered on why the guards came over here and influenced my house elves. Remus and Draco are going through the Ministry of Magic contract and compiling a list of Ministry violations while Dudley is helping me assemble a list of extra spells that I will need to cast on the dementors who want to return to being human. We think that the 'pool' that Salazar refers to is adding these women back into the gene pool. If that is so we can revitalize the British wizarding community with their help."


	19. Visiting the Prison

Disclaimers: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe and no money is being made from this story.

* * *

Chapter 19: Visiting the Prison

Breakfast turned into a discussion regarding all the information that everyone had been able to assemble since arriving on the island. When the Estate Overseer arrived he was given a plate and sat at the table to join the discussion.

It was the Overseer who suggested that Harry meet with the dementors either individually or in small groups to get a feel for who they were and what they would become. He also suggested that he interview them in the office at the prison. There would be less chance of the other dementors discovering that the dementors who were being interviewed were being dealt with as they were interviewed.

Harry had to ask, "Does everyone who belongs on the island understand the dementor language?"

The Overseer shook his head 'no' and proceeded to explain that Salazar had created several translator devices because he did not want the dementors to be able to communicate with the general population. They were all cursed to speak only parseltongue because that was one of the things most of the ladies found offensive regarding Salazar. The only reason the people in the room were able to understand them was because the hall was warded to automatically translate any language spoken into English unless the Duke or his representative instructed the ward scheme to deviate.

Harry sat there, slumped back in his chair and groaned from sheer frustration. He rubbed his hand across his forehead and groaned a second time. "Damn! There is just so much to do. How am I going to get anything done around here before we need to head back to school?"

Petunia watched her son sitting in his chair at the head of the table and wondered about that herself. He was growing a bit and power seemed to roll off of him in waves any time he became emotional, but he was still behind his own power curve. Her eyes glowed an unholy color of blue as she sat there plotting the demise of Albus 'Meddling-for-the-greater-good' Dumbledore. He would pay for damaging her child. Then she looked around the table at Dudley and Draco and amended her thought. The old coot would pay for meddling with her children.

She eyed the smaller blond boy as her thoughts took another turn. True, Draco had not been with the family long, but it was amazing what the doctors at Gringotts could do for a price. In order to remove Draco from Lucius and Narcissa he had been bonded to Harry and Dudley as a blood brother. By the time all the potions and spells had been removed from him he had also received a significant power boost.

According to Marge the blood bonding the boys did under the supervision of Grimtooth had forged a bond between them that caused a major power surge throughout Great Britain. They had a mind link like the Weasley twins, shared the parseltongue ability, and all three boys seemed to pick the best parts of each other's minds and adapt the successful concepts to aid their personal intelligence scores.

The right of inheritance had been discussed by the whole family and a tentative agreement had been reached. Harry would remain the title of Duke of Azkaban. He would also keep the title Lord Slytherin. He had decided to forgo the titles Baron Black, Viscount Gryffindor, and Lord Potter.

Draco, once the inhibitors had been removed from him, was determined to be marginally more powerful than Dudley. He would retain the title of Lord Malfoy, but would also assume the title of Baron Black if certain conditions were met.

Dudley would be assuming the titles of Viscount Gryffindor and Lord Potter under the same conditions that Draco agreed to. Namely they had agreed that if any of the dementors were returned to human form and the ladies from those houses agreed to marry them, they would inherit.

They finally finished their discussion and after leaving the castle made their way down to the dock. The Overseer, the harbormaster and the gang discussed several improvements that needed to be made to the docks before winter weather closed the harbor and cut the island off from travel by boat before they continued on to the prison.

The prison itself would require a full review. Harry did not want to start on that review until after he had sorted the dementors. He wanted to make massive, sweeping changes on everything regarding the prison, and he wanted to do it without the presence of dementors, the ministry, or Death Eaters…

Therefore they had to go visit the prison and begin the observation phase of the 'Prison Plan'. Since nothing happened inside the prison without dementors knowing, several of them decided to conglomerate in the room where Harry was to attempt influencing him to their way of thinking.

It was only a matter of minutes before the dementors had Harry and everyone with him feeling rather vexed at the careless and insensitive creatures. Harry's tolerance level with them was quickly exceeded when several of the dementors completely ignored the ward scheme and tried to feast off of their memories.

Harry spoke, "You dare to test me on home ground? You lot really are as stupid and self-absorbed as I was led to believe. Each of you is here because you could not control yourselves in your human form. And now in your dementor form you still take with no thought to what you do, or who you damage!"

A spokesperson for the group drew closer. "We only take our due."

Remus Lupin decided that it was just payment for some of the horrible memories these women and ones just like them had made Sirius suffer for twelve years. Sarcastically he growled, "We only take our due. Nothing gives you the right to steal another person's soul."

"We do only as the ministry wishes."

Harry snorted.

Draco and Dudley shook their heads in disbelief.

The Overseer made it a point to address Harry, "This is what I was telling you earlier. The Ministry came here just after Duke Leo died and made a deal with some of these things," here he flung his hand toward the hive, "they would guard the prison and in return they were allowed to feed off the people the Ministry incarcerated here."

Everyone caught the significance of his wording. Draco asked, "So the dementors were allowed to destroy people who were getting in the way of the Ministry? These rotting corpses probably jumped at the chance to be fools for the ministry. That is why they had no controls in place."

The dementors screeched angrily.

Remus interrupted them. "You lot don't seem too terribly bright at this point. We can only assume you did not learn anything from the last mistake you made. We know exactly what you did to be cursed to this existence. I'll bet every one of you thought that you were so freaking wonderful that you deserved every little thing you wanted." Then he laughed in one of the dementors faces as he added, "I'll bet it was the little things that got you in trouble wasn't it? You found some pathetic little man and screwed his brains out because you were angry that your husband had to do a little bit of work to keep you in the style you wanted. Had the husband pandered to your every wish it would not have been enough to keep pure in his marital bed would it? You're just a pack of sluts that have no desire to say no."

Several hundred dementors became so enraged that they stormed out of the meeting. As they left Draco casually cast a containment charm so they would not hear what happened with the rest of the dementors who had not left.

Roughly two hundred dementors remained. Most of them were angry, but still not glowing hot. The newly appointed spokeswoman of the group spoke, "How can you sit there and say such things to us? You have no idea what our lives were like before or during our marriages."

Several of the dementors began muttering about what it was like to be married to a megalomaniac who only worried about himself and never saw them as anything but breeding stock.

"I'd rather be a megalomaniac than a nymphomaniac." Remus was having quite a bit of fun tearing these horrible petty constructs apart. He was a master of verbal sparring, superior to Snape even because he often managed to keep a level head while his vocabulary enraged and decimated the opposition.

The remaining dementors looked around at the desertion of their sisters. The original twelve of them had been through thick and thin together for almost a thousand years. That twelve had been joined by an additional eighteen ladies over the years and they had built a strong sisterhood that had withstood the Ministry of Magic and everything else that had been thrown at them.

As Harry watched, the ones he had felt earlier moved away from the rest of the group. They had stood apart from all the corruption the other dementors indulged in and were ready to have their existence come to an end. That thirty moved as one to stand before Harry and his men. "We await your judgment, Slytherin. Tell us where to go and what to do. It shall be done."

He acknowledged them and motioned for them to return to the castle.

After the dementors he recognized as capable of being saved left the prison Harry felt a general darkening of the atmosphere. All of the strong dementors were gone; all that was left were some hundred and seventy ministry corrupted 'things' that needed to be destroyed. They were all weak, self-absorbed creatures that could do little more than shift their hoods around and flex their bony hands in the face of wizards capable of protecting themselves. But, they were evil and given the chance to carry on as the Ministry had mandated they were allowed to, all the creatures left would continue to destroy the wizarding world.

Harry looked at them and realized that they were getting ready to leave. "I will not have you leaving Azkaban ever again. The British Ministry of Magic had no right letting you feast on other people like they did. Salazar cursed the original dementors because they were all refuse not fit to be called dog's vomit. They had no choice but to become dementors, however, you all did have the choice and you made that choice freely. And now you want to pretend you are hard done by."

The dementors hissed and fluttered their robes in agitation.

"I despise what you are. You have hunted in packs and killed innocent people without discriminating. You killed from every walk of life as if searching for something like a child in a candy shop. Hundreds of years to repent and become something more than Salazar Slytherin saw you as, and you failed miserably." Harry stood up and glared at the group while they stood there.

"You do not understand, Slytherin. We had no chance to change. You did not give us instructions on how to change our fate." All the dementors began shrieking at him, "You burn us with happy thoughts; you kill us with your stupid Patronus. But, you never told us how to change."

Harry stood this time, quivering with fury rarely seen. (Except by Professor Snape who thinks it is funny to punish children for things their parents did to him over twenty years ago.) "You dare to try blaming your miserable existence on me? You whine and hiss that nobody told you what to do to change? Nowhere in the spellwork that Salazar Slytherin used to reveal your true form did he ever take away your freedom of choice. You did not change because there were enough of you that you convinced yourselves you were still superior to everyone else."

As Harry gave a tongue lashing to the dementors for their part in the decline of Wizarding Britain they were trying to stage a last coup against the domination of the Duke of Azkaban in their world. The last twenty years had been years of feasting and plenty for the dementors and they did not want to give up.

The ignorance of the Ministry of Magic had done more to harm these women than Salazar's curse ever had. There had been a time when the women almost made the choice to search for redemption and then the Ministry came with their unauthorized seizure of part of Azkaban Island and they built a prison and stuck some of the sickest, most depraved people in the wizarding world in it. And they told the dementors what they wanted them to do. Salazar may have used figurative speech when he called them soul-sucking hags, but the Ministry made it so.

The Ministry sanctioned the dementors to walk among the evil and feast on what they could… Of course the Ministry would never admit that they were the ones who figuratively created the dementor. The stealing of memories from others to take the edge off their own pain of nothingness became an addiction, an addiction that only the death of the dementor could stop. The dementors always took the best memories first, but eventually they would run out of good memories to savor and they would take the next best until only the true nightmares that even a dementor could not swallow was left.

Harry nodded to the men who were helping him to take their places in the guardroom and gave the signal for them to begin. When the spell was finished there was little to be seen except the ash that covered the room and made seeing almost impossible.

It was only after a few dozen _scourgifys _were cast that the room's objects became clear once again and Harry Potter was accosted by two sobbing, hysterical women bent of causing bodily harm to him. The counter-spell that Salazar listed did in fact work. He just forgot to mention that repentant, dignified women were just as prone to revenge as any other woman.

Dudley took one look at the ladies and grabbed them both. Holding a woman in each arm he growled for Harry to put some clothes on them. When that had been done he glared at the black haired girl and said, "When we have the time to listen, I expect you to tell me exactly why you were hanging out with the rest of those things Harry just turned to toast."

Before the ladies could get started with their stories though Dobby popped into the room and informed Harry that the dementors who had stormed out of the meeting earlier had began amassing outside of the Great Hall up at the castle and Marge was scared that the wards were not going to hold if they decided to test them.

They flooed back to the castle and took their places in the Great Hall just as the doors opened. Harry was already flying high on adrenaline by the time the rebelling dementors began crowding into to great hall. The death of some hundred and seventy had been felt in the collective memory of the hive.

Only one time before had they lost so many at one time, and that was when they were supposed to guard Hogwarts School. They had been unsuccessful with guarding the school because they had all been too close to the one they knew they were to call master. But even two years ago it had been too late to rein in their hunger and desolation. They knew there would be no redemption for the dementors and if they did not want to die completely they would have to fight Azkaban for control of their destinies.

The odd dementor had been killed here and there throughout the millennia. The numbers had risen as high as fourteen hundred, but that was before the accident at Hogwarts where almost three hundred of the sisterhood had been incinerated by a patronus charm. In the last two years another hundred or so had been picked off a few at a time by patronus wielding wizards.

There were roughly a thousand dementors packed into the great hall of Azkaban when Harry Potter, or Harold Solis Black, Duke of Azkaban, Boy who lived, or whatever else you want to call him rose from his seat and spoke. The words came out in parseltonge and the magic swirled out from his wand and the wands of everyone else in the room who still had their own soul.

The hive felt the collective power build from the people around them and then they looked on in horror to notice that the people were standing in pentagram form. One second the power hung in the air like a heavy wool blanket and then it fell and covered the hive. When the room became visible once more there was nothing but a few inches of ash covering every bit of the room except the pentagram.


	20. The clothing

Disclaimers: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe and no money is being made from this story.

* * *

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N # 1: Obviously I write AU. If you want canon turn back now because you are going to be severely disappointed.

* * *

Chapter 20: The Clothing…

Harry summoned the house elves a few seconds after he finished the spellwork that caused the dementors to either self destruct or change back into their original forms. The rest of the spells that would synchronize the women to normal human biorhythms would be cast after the ladies had been washed, dressed, fed, and rested.

Harry dearly wanted to tell the elves to start cleaning so he could see what kind of bodies were under all the dirt, grime, and ashes. With his mother and his honorary aunt standing there glaring at him though, he figured he had better just get them moving out the door. He could always look again later…

The official count of dementors was now zero. Harry knew that fact with a certainty that was bred into his consciousness as Duke. He hoped that dealing with the ladies a second time would be so easy. He was not sure what the Ministry of Magic was going to say about the situation; he was sure though that Fudge would have something stupid to say.

Harry was surprised when Dobby popped into the hall and after clearing the table and chairs of dementor ash had tapped on the table surface to request service. It was only after he tried to take a step that he realized how punch drunk he was from channeling the immense amount of power it had taken to deal with that many dementors at one time. He realized that it had been sheer luck he had managed to eliminate so many of them earlier because with the way he was feeling right now.

The others who had helped with the spellwork were almost as exhausted. Marge and Petunia quickly led them to seats while Harry was practically carried to the table by Vernon. It was also Vernon who reminded Harry to give one last order before he passed out from exhaustion. "Lock down the castle so we don't have to worry about the guards from the prison until we are ready to deal with them."

After most of the food and drink had been demolished by those still awake, Remus looked over at the peacefully sleeping Harry and told Dobby to go fetch him a pepper-upper potion from the hospital wing. Harry woke up a few minutes after Remus spelled it straight into his stomach. He was still tired but murmured a quiet thanks to him and Dobby for all their help.

He felt much better after his nap, potion, and meal. It was also understood that he was still exhausted and probably would not move from his seat at the table until it became absolutely necessary to do so.

Vernon and Petunia, realizing that they had a captive audience in the exhausted wizards, decided to broach the subject of their hopes and dreams for the future. Vernon had been the one to begin, "Harry, now that the demen-thingys are gone this island is going to change a great deal unless you take steps to maintain certain standards. Petunia and I have been discussing some of the obvious things that you will need help with since you mentioned it this morning and we would like to know if you would let us stay here at the castle until you have your life sorted out and are ready to settle down and get married."

Dudley moaned, "Gads! It was only this morning wasn't it? It feels like a lifetime ago already."

Harry cocked his head to one side and listened to the older man. When he was growing up he wondered about this man being capable, now that he was older and was starting to see the seedier side of life he was beginning to be reluctantly impressed with 'Uncle' Vernon. "I am interested in knowing what you have to say."

"Good. Good." The older man said. "First, I think that it is important to tell you that since we have all spent so much time lately receiving medical treatment and have become much healthier that Petunia and I are going to try to have more children."

Vernon was actually good at reading a boardroom crowd and this set-up qualified. Before anyone could interrupt him he held up a hand. "We have several reasons for wanting more children. This time around we know what magic is and will not be treating another child the way we did you, Harry. We know we have obligations to the wizarding world and wish to assume some of the duties that we have been prohibited from thus far. However, the most important reason is that we want more children. We have a stable relationship and wish to improve and build on it."

It did not take a genius to figure out that it would also give Petunia something to live for a second time around. She always seemed to do her best when she could keep busy- children certainly would qualify there.

Harry and Dudley both had serious contemplative looks as Vernon finished. After some serious telepathic conversation Harry spoke. "Dudley and I would both like it if you were to gift the house with more children. We would also like to ask you to take some parenting classes before you do so that the excesses the two of us suffered is not likely to happen again, especially if the child is going to be magical."

Petunia snorted. "I like that. Excesses is a good word. I am not going to quarrel with the diagnosis though. Vernon and I are not sure how much of the abuse was because we were inept, or how much was because of all the faulty spellwork we were subjected to. What I will promise is to use you two as a frame of reference and keep the damage in mind."

The boys both laughed. "That will be a great place to start."

The Dudley added, "It should be easier living here since you won't have the neighbors like we did on Privet Drive."

Vernon waited for them to settle a minute before continuing. "Speaking of Privet Drive- We would like to live here for the rest of the summer and possibly year round if the weather proves t o be tolerable. One reason we want to stay is to avoid Albus Dumbledore until we have calmed down a bit regarding his role in our lives. We feel it is not in our best interest to accept his apologies without considering what the consequences are of his actions. He has already started making noises about us coming to Dumbledore estate and being recognized as his heir since he and Arabella decided to get married."

"Oh, what happened with Arabella?" Harry leaned one arm on the table and settled his chin on it. "Last I heard her case was still under review."

Marge chose to answer the question. "Arabella had her core unbound and has been recovering at St. Mungo's for the last two weeks. She did not react well to having magic after all those years."

"What happened to her ex-husband?" Dudley snarled.

Draco answered that one. "He's a pureblood. Nothing happened to him. The court handled him in a separate session so that no one would ask awkward questions while they patted him on the back and congratulated him on letting the little woman know who was boss."

Everyone's eyebrows rose at that one. Harry looked from Draco to Marge. "Aunt Marge?"

She nodded her head. "That's the way it is, Harry. Now that you boys are coming up you have a chance to change things. However, as of right now that is the way it goes."

He nodded his head. The look on his face did not bode well for the Wizengamot though. It was time the Wizarding world was dragged, kicking and screaming if necessary, into the twenty first century. He looked across the table to Draco, "Would it be appropriate for House of Azkaban to extend an invitation to several Houses for a few days before school starts?"

Draco and Marge conferred for a few minutes, arguing points of etiquette and the ramifications and decided that it would be acceptable for House Azkaban to host a small party of approximately a hundred guests or so in order to begin introducing the new Duke to society. They would also consider holding a ball just before school started where they would introduce the ladies who wished to reenter society to the wizarding world.

An hour or so before dinner Winky popped back into the Great Hall and informed Harry that the ladies were requesting permission to have their personal effects removed from storage and released back into their care. She was pleased to tell him that thirty-two ladies had successfully regained their human form. At this point they were all following his orders exactly and were looking forward to meeting him.

Harry quirked an eyebrow at his favorite little female elf. "Do you know where their trunks and such have been stored?"

Winky nodded, "Yes, we does. Dobby, Eddy and one of the other idiots," Here she sneered at one of the female elves that had not yet apologized to Master Harry before continuing, "they has brought the trunks down from the attics but is waiting for you to say it is so."

"Thank you, Winky. It was very kind of all of you to help me and the ladies."

"Yous is welcome, Master Harry."

Petunia stood before Winky could apparate away. "Miss Winky, are the ladies settled enough that Marge and I could visit with them a bit before Harry finishes their spellwork tomorrow morning?"

Winky was happy to lead Petunia and Marge out of the room. The three of them chattered happily as they made their way up to into the part of the castle the Steward said was originally set aside for the women. Marge and Petunia had spent a few hours earlier discussing what the best approach to having thirty-two additional women in the castle was and they had both came to the same conclusion. It was going to be a long night while they explained the facts of life and established a pecking order so that the ladies did not try to kill each other. For now the lot of them would be treated like candidates at a boarding school.


	21. Get the Party Started

Disclaimers: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe and no money is being made from this story.

* * *

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N # 1: Obviously I write AU. If you want canon turn back now because you are going to be severely disappointed.

Chapter 21: Get the Party Started

For the first time since the Prison was built there were no dementors drifting though the halls or congregating in the hive room. The walls were actually starting to feel warmer. It was not a feeling of 'wrongness', but a feeling more of 'rightness' about the place. When Salazar had originally cursed the ladies as soul sucking old hags he had been speaking metaphorically; it had been the Ministry of Magic that caused the dementors to actually suck a person's soul from their body.

The guards who worked there looked around and never noticed the filth and abject poverty of the place. None of them liked being there although they were paid extra hazard pay for working around the dementors. They all conveniently forgot that Azkaban Prison was supposed to be maintained to a certain standard and it had been part of their duties to maintain the facility. Cleanliness, like the dining facility program, had fallen away from the intended target over the years and the money to keep up programs had found its way into several pockets not designated as part of the 'intended recipients'.

The guards, used to sitting on their arses when they were not doing the bare minimum, reckoned that they might as well wait until shift change before going up to the castle to inform the new Duke that there was a problem. Or, failing that, maybe the shift after theirs could tell him. It really was not their job to worry about it so long as the prisoners did not escape. What they did not realize was that as soon as the dementors left the building Harry had directed the Overseer to send his staff and the local aurors into the prison to document the condition of the place.

The Fact Finding Commission was to make a full report on the facilities, personnel, and all the prisoners. The first step in proving that Azkaban Prison needed to be demolished was to prove that the Ministry of Magic had violated the treaty with Azkaban Island. The first violation they found was the Warden sleeping on the job, his sleeping was also the least important of the violations.

They let him to sleep while they completely ransacked the whole office. When they finished there they went on to investigate and inventory the rest of the prison. They were not stopped, challenged, or acknowledged by the prison guards at any time as they made their way through the prison. It might as well have been empty for all the protection the guards were providing.

The Fact Finding Commission returned to the castle late that evening and was able to brief Harry about most of the violations before everyone retired to bed. The fact that the dementors had disappeared from Azkaban Prison was not actually mentioned to Minister Fudge until some days later when he was hand delivered a large package by Messers Remus Lupin and Vernon Dursley. It was their last stop before heading back to the island.

* * *

Remus had a grand time showing Vernon around the magical community. They had owled off all the invitations for the garden party, went shopping to procure several items deemed necessary for the ladies of Azkaban in order to bring them up to standard and generally had fun. They also dined out a few times while Vernon worked out a contract with Grunnings for Gringotts Bank and London Warren for drilling equipment.

Vernon also hand delivered an invitation to Grimtooth and the rest of Harry's goblin family to spend a few days on the island before dropping the Azkaban Prison Violations package off with Fudge's secretary.

Percy waited to open the package until after Remus and Vernon left and immediately regretted that he had not let them deliver the package themselves. Fudge was going to do his usual bit of overreacting and would probably make the situation worse than it already was. From the list of violations he was holding, labeling the situation as 'bad' was glossing things over.

Harry Potter, Duke of Azkaban, also wanted a reckoning for why prison guards were allowed to enter Azkaban Castle and give orders to the house elves. Percy shuddered and gulped a few times before managing to compose himself enough to tap on the door. Fudge would not go docilely.

* * *

Back on Azkaban Island things were going along swimmingly. Marge and Petunia had the ladies sorted in no time. Petunia, as the mother of the current Duke was the senior ranking Lady of the castle. Marge as her Lady-in-waiting would be next in line. The other ladies decided to carry on with the same pecking order they had as dementors.

All thirty-two women who had been changed back into humans had been wives of a Duke of Azkaban and all of them had spent at least eight hundred years working through exactly what it was they had done wrong to end up in such dire straits. Over that period of time they had all learned a few lessons regarding dignity, humility, integrity… They had also done some serious growing up mentally.

It was now time for the lot of them to put their new ideology into practice. They had all agreed to attend the functions planned for the garden party: there would be picnics, dance lessons, at least one hunt complete with horses, hounds, and fox.

None of the ladies were under the impression that they were once again safe and sound with a clean bill of health and the wealth to do what they wanted. The whole family had sat down with each lady individually and had a discussion on what she intended to do with her life now that she had it back. Surprisingly, most of the ladies intended to marry and produce as many children as they could.

Harry and Draco were the ones to figure out why the ex-dementors were so adamant that they wanted marriage and a family. None of the ladies who regained their forms had stolen a person's soul, and they theorized that the women had recognized the disastrous effects stealing memories and souls were having on the others.

There had been so many shocks to the system by the time the thirty-two ladies had been interviewed that the only thing that everyone could agree on was that life was going to be very interesting for everyone involved for quite some time. Surprisingly, all thirty-two were intelligent, articulate ladies; most of them were just so young… They gave a haunting new meaning to Shakespeare's line in Romeo and Juliet when he wrote, "Girls younger than she often marry and become happy _mothers_. 15 20 25, CAPULET. And too soon _marred_ are those so _early made_."

The first shock had been dealing with girls as young as fourteen when they became dementors. The second shock had been dealing with the first two girls interviewed- The sixteen year old identical twins, Elora and Freida Potter.

Both of the women Dudley had escorted back to the castle from the prison announced that they wanted to marry him at the earliest convenience if Lady Petunia would grant them their freedom. Further discussion involved learning that the girls were identical twins and they were full blood sisters to the original Geoffrey Potter who married Goldie Gryffindor, the only daughter of Godric Gryffindor.

The next bit of excitement had been Gertrude Ravenclaw, a black haired, golden-eyed beauty who announced that since she was the ripe old age of twenty-four that she would require an older bride-groom and would petition her liege for the hand of his bondman, Remus Lupin, since he was a werewolf like her. She even smirked at Remus as she announced that her sister, Rowena, had left her a sizable fortune along with a small manor house that was under stasis charms and protection wards…

With the futures of the first three ladies settled to the satisfaction of the entire congress, the week was bound to be great fun. The garden party was officially begun with the arrival of Lady Longbottom and her ward, Neville, just after lunch the afternoon of the twenty-sixth. The party would end the afternoon of the 2nd of September, but Marge insisted that it would not be a complete fiasco since the 1st of September was a Friday and everyone would have been on the train all day anyway.

From that point forward the floo room was kept busy as ladies and gentlemen appeared and were either escorted to rooms or were dumped unceremoniously into a cesspool that had mysteriously appeared in the middle of Diagon Alley.


	22. Roasting Demented Marshmallows

Disclaimers: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe and no money is being made from this story.

* * *

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N # 1: Obviously I write AU. If you want canon turn back now because you are going to be severely disappointed.

Chapter 22: Roasting Demented Marshmallows…

The first day's entertainment was planned as a garden party. The ladies had the option to play badminton, croquet, or any number of card games as they enjoyed the hot sunny weather out-of-doors. By evening the entire population of the island was gathered on the village green for a bonfire, country dancing, and roasting marshmallows and wieners on a stick courtesy of Hermione Granger's father who had been a Boy Scout .

It was also noted that the Honorable Blaise Zabini had caught the interest of the Ladies Cherlyndria Black and Lucretia Malfoy. Rather than make an offer for one or both ladies on the spot his Lady Mother Zabini requested that the two girls return to Hogwarts for their sixth year and spend some time getting to know him.

The second day was going along marvelously also. Lady Longbottom took a memory from her younger years and brought it back to life. As everyone was gathered along the beach having fun hunting shells and dipping their toes in the surf she called for her house elf and requested that she gather some of the other elves together and enlarge the boats so that everyone could go out on the water.

Once everyone was out in the bay she showed some of the ladies how to chant and call up fish. After that excitement wore off some of the water animagi dove overboard and swam around in search of whatever they could find that might be amusing. It was late at night when the boats returned to port because they found a merchant vessel that they had to recover…

* * *

Meanwhile, the cesspool in the middle of Diagon Alley had been a real surprise to the people attempting to crash the Azkaban House Party. Several newsworthy persons had been dumped into it before they even knew what was happening to them. Among the worthies who had been redirected were Albus Dumbledore, Cornelius Fudge, and Dolores Umbridge. A few 'iffy' characters also made their way into the pit by way of the Azkaban floo system; Rita Skeeter just got up, cleaned herself off, and tried again to gain entrance to the social event of the decade…

Albus Dumbledore also decided that the undignified redirection ward he had been subjected to was all a mistake and to prove it to his cohorts all he needed to do was send an owl to his son, Vernon, who would then grant him entrance. Two days later when he still had not heard back from Vernon he took matters into his own hands and had Fawkes flame him and Cornelius over to Azkaban Island.

Since it was perfectly acceptable for important persons to come and go from these parties he figured that if he took Cornelius with him they could enjoy some of the festivities and start laying the groundwork for getting Azkaban prison restored to Ministry control. The only thing Albus loved more than politics was a party liberally mixed with politics.

Fawkes, not enjoying being used as a taxi cab, refused to take Albus and Cornelius straight to Harry. He dumped them on the back side of the island from where they would have to hike some distance to reach the castle whose spires they could just make out in the distance...

* * *

The party was an incredible success. Augusta Longbottom and a dozen matriarchs from the upper echelons of wizarding society were spending all their waking time with the ladies. Petunia and Marge were adamant that the girls would not be forced to accept any forthcoming marriage proposals, and with that in mind the older women set about helping the girls discover just what it was that they actually did want to do with their lives now that they had a future before them once again.

The ratio of house guest to ex-dementor was roughly three-to-one. This included the matriarchs, Harry's female friends and families, and Marge's dear friend, Colonel Furbisher. The end result was that the ladies were introduced to roughly forty-five gentlemen with whom to make a first acquaintance.

Day three of the house party dawned with rain in the forecast so most everyone spent the morning lying in bed catching up on their sleep and generally just being comfortable until the house elves announced lunch would be served in the great hall, after which the ladies and gentlemen who wished to be entertained should join either the cooking competition, or the dueling exhibition.

It was in the middle of the judging of the foods that Albus and Cornelius made their entrance into the great hall. Merkel, the old house elf who served the 42nd Duke, announced the two and then proceeded to beg Harry for forgiveness for letting them into the castle.

Harry sat back on his throne and watched as the old man limped forward in his high heeled boots. Fudge, whose footwear was slightly saner, also seemed to be suffering from a surfeit of exercise. By the time they had made their way to him, Remus, Dudley, Draco, and several other gentlemen who did not trust the intruders had gathered round their liege lord, prepared to defend him to the death.

Albus was the first to speak, "Harry, my boy, I do apologize for not getting here sooner, but Cornelius and I seemed to have suffered a series of unfortunate events on our way through the floo on Friday evening."

Harry merely quirked his eyebrow at Dumbledore. "Is that right?" he eventually murmured to no one in particular. "I was quite sure neither the name Dumbledore nor Fudge were on the guest list."

Fudge, not to be outdone by Dumbledore, added, "Merely an oversight we assumed so here we are."

Harry never took his eyes off them as he inquired, "Uncle Vernon, did you by any chance invite your esteemed father to the gathering?"

Vernon stepped forward from where he and Petunia had been observing the color and presentation of the food dishes. "No, Remus and I stopped off at Mother's house on Magnolia Crescent and gave her a floo pass. But, since you had specifically stated that you did not want any abnormally long, crooked noses at the party father was excluded."

"And why is Minister Fudge here, anyone?" Harry's voice held only mild inquiry.

Severina Fudge stepped forward when Fudge's name was mentioned. She was a splendid looking woman with chestnut colored hair and eyes of delft blue. After inspecting the man from several angles she announced, "It comes as no surprise that this one was not invited. He is the sorriest excuse for a squib-in-training that I have ever seen short of the men in Demelzia Filch's family.

Demelzia pouted as she said, "That is so unfair of you to mention, Severina. You know very well that the men of the Filch family have been cursed to be squibs since well before Hogwarts was built."

Most of the audience leaned forward and observed the floor show. All were familiar with the term 'Muggle baiting'. 'Wizard baiting' was a slightly more dangerous game and the participants were normally the crème of the crop. The end result of this little battle of wills was being avidly observed because it could conceivably determine the direction of the wizarding world for several years to come. With the exception of the interlopers, everyone knew that the new Duke had the power and the audacity to set certain things in motion. Harry just stared at the men and gave a pointed yawn before settling more comfortably on his ducal throne.

Albus eyed Harry's chair with a touch of avarice before speaking. "Well, my boy, since we are here and there really isn't much else to do, let us talk about some of your plans for Azkaban Island. We really should get the new agreement signed regarding the prison."

After waiting a few seconds and not receiving a response, Albus conjured himself a chair and attempted to sit down.

With a flick of Harry's finger the chair disappeared and the old man tumbled to the floor in an undignified heap.

Fudge reached over and helped him back up. He looked at Harry reproachfully, but held his peace.

Dumbledore winced as he straightened his robes. "Is this any way to treat a guest, Mr. Potter?" He asked while projecting his disappointed grandfather persona.

Harry leaned slightly to the side as he huffed lightly. "My staff has gone to great lengths to make sure that my guests are all comfortable even if their every wish has not been catered to."

"You have yet to offer Cornelius or me a chair or a cup of tea."

"Old man, let me be blunt. I did not invite you here. You took it upon yourself to enter my home uninvited even after you were rebuffed once already, and now you dare to chastise me regarding the rules of civility?"

Albus lost his temper and pointed his shaking finger at Harry. "I have had enough of your bad manners, you upstart little twit. You will listen to me and you will listen well!"

Harry just grinned. "Demands? Have you forgotten already why as a toddler you bound my core and put several curses on me so that no one would like me before taking me back to my mother?"

Dumbledore glared, all traces of his signature twinkle long gone. "What are you implying?"

"I'm not implying anything. I am stating a simple fact: You bound my core and cast several hate curses on me before taking me back to my mother. Did you hope that she would kill me before I found out what a miserable jealous old fool you are?"

Dumbledore sneered at him, "Why would I bother to do anything of the sort?"

Harry continued to speak calmly. "Maybe because we both know what happened that night that Voldie came calling. Mother's love did not save me. Lily Potter was not my mother. She was my aunt."

"Then what did save you if it was not the power of love?"

Harry yawned and flicked a speck of lint off his sleeve. "Do you really want to know what happened that night, old man?"

"Yes, I really do want to know." Albus gritted out.

Harry nodded toward the Master of Ceremonies for the day. Remus acknowledged his request to interrupt the music and after casting sonorous on himself called for everyone's attention.

The crowd turned to Remus and he nodded toward Harry as he spoke, "The Duke would like to say a few words before we carry on with our scheduled entertainment."

Harry cast a sonorous on himself and looked out over the crowd. "As you all know we have had several interruptions on Friday and yesterday by persons not invited to partake of our hospitality. Albus Dumbledore and Cornelius Fudge have been guilty of at least one interruption per day since the party officially started gathering. Both men have returned again with an arrest warrant which they intend to serve on me if I do not give them access to my island, my castle, and my person."

A dull roar seemed to sweep across the ballroom as the guests digested that. The noise dropped as quickly as it started when both Draco and Dudley stepped forward and pulled their wands.

Draco looked out across the ballroom before looking back at Dumbledore and Fudge. "I think that you are overstepping your authority here, gentlemen. Azkaban Island is a free principality in its own right and does not answer to the British Ministry of Magic. As Harry's Lieutenant I do have the right and the authority to see you off the premises."

Both men loudly proclaimed that Harry did not have the right to evict them. Fudge standing there demanding to know what gave Harry the right to ignore the Minister of Magic and the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot finally pissed Harry off to the point he spoke again.

"Do you know how Voldemort was vanquished the first time, Fudge?"

"No!" Was snapped.

"As a fifteen-month-old toddler I saw Voldemort cast the AK on the woman I called my mother. I then pointed my little hand at him and repeated the bad words that he used to hurt her."

Fudge squawked like a chicken. "No." He shook his head in disbelief.

Harry grinned savagely and half the goblins in attendance thumped their chest plates and stomped their feet on the floor. He pointed at Dumbledore with his chin and added, "That is exactly why the so called leader of the light has been throwing me into one death defying situation after another since I reentered the magical world. He has been trying to get Voldemort to kill me before I gained my potential."


	23. Dealing with Party Crashers

Disclaimers: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe and no money is being made from this story.

* * *

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N # 1: Obviously I write AU. If you want canon turn back now because you are going to be severely disappointed.

A/N #2: Please forgive me. I had a terrible time writing this chapter...

Chapter 23: Dealing with Party Crashers

Harry silently watched the two men as they practically choked with rage. The truth of how Lord Voldemort died the first time seemed to have broken them. Neither man had managed to get a word out. Their rapidly purpling faces were more of a source of amusement than concern, until Cornelius finally toppled over and began twitching.

He probably would have died if Severina had not stepped forward and planted the toe of her dragonhide boot firmly against the rotund man's solar plexus. She stood there smiling as air escaped both ends of him and he began hacking and coughing while attempting to regain his senses.

The typical answer to every problem Fudge ever faced in the last ten years sprang to mind so the second he had enough air in his lungs that is what he shrieked. "I want this man kissed by dementors immediately!"

All thirty-two ladies squealed excitedly. They had not done any kissing lately, well, except Elora, Flora, Gertrude, and half a dozen other pretties who found it immensely amusing to flirt with Harry, Draco, Neville, Blaise, and Theo. The ladies were quite happy to kiss the life out of any one of the aforementioned gentlemen.

Harry saw their enthusiasm and shrugged. "Right then, Dementors, please line up and we will see about carrying out the Ministers latest order."

Neville could not resist. He raised his hand like a good boy and asked, "May I be kissed also, Minister?"

That did it for most of the gentlemen attending the party. "Yes, Yes. Quite right, Old Chap. We should also like a kiss or two from the dementors."

Fudge had not bothered to actually look at his mail before coming to the island. He knew that there was a package back in London sitting on his desk from Azkaban that would need to be dealt with. However, he did not listen to Percy when he had been briefed on the contents of said package…

When he heard the men all begging to kiss a dementor his fragile mental state went the way of the elves. Somewhere in the west his intellectual capacity sat down and wondered how long it would be before the rest of him followed. His physical body sat back down on the floor and began drawing pictures with spit puddles next to Albus's boots.

Severina huffed as she looked at the now quiet idiot that one of her descendents was responsible for producing. She looked at Harry with innocent big blue eyes and asked, "Does this mean I shall not get any kisses until that thing is dealt with?"

Harry just shook his head 'no' then called for Dobby to go find the current Mrs. Cornelius Fudge and bring her to the castle so he could explain her husband's misfortune. How in Merlin's name this level of idiocy managed to happen around him constantly was a complete mystery to the Duke. Having dealt with Fudge to everyone's satisfaction, he turned his attention back to the manipulating old goat who was respnsible for the mess in the first place.

When his guests once again began mingling as they wanted to, Harry turned a frustrated countenance to Albus. "Dumbledore, why do you insist you have to be here? You were not invited because no one wants you here. I do not mean to disrespect your age or your wisdom, but you are way beyond the pale of dignity. Please will you desist and return to your home until such time as we can afford to humor you?"

Albus refused to stand down. "Harry, my boy, why would I not be here? Vernon and Petunia are here. Arabella is here. You all are my family and I have come to help in any way I possibly can."

There would be no reasoning with him Harry knew. The conversation still echoed in his head that he had held with Vernon and Petunia earlier.

Vernon had empathetically stated, "One reason we want to stay is to avoid Albus Dumbledore until we have calmed down a bit regarding his role in our lives. We feel it is not in our best interest to accept his apologies without considering what the consequences are of his actions. He has already started making noises about us coming to Dumbledore estate and being recognized as his heir since he and Arabella decided to get married."

As Petunia stood to the side and watched Harry deal with Albus as kindly and firmly as he could without breaking the rules of hospitality she could not help but clutch at Vernon's arm and fuss. "Vernon, I just know that Harry is going to crack and let him stay here. We have to do something!" Her voice carried just far enough for one of the dementors to hear the fear and anxiety.

Seconds later Mercedes Malfoy tugged gently at Petunia's sleeve. "If you would hear me out, I might have a solution to the problem."

Vernon's arm tightened around Petunia slightly but nodded his acquiescence. "We are between a rock and a hard place here, Mercedes. If we do nothing then Father will try to run roughshod over Harry and will wind up making a bigger mess than what we have now. If Harry uses force to neutralize him there will be a whole different set of problems because Harry will be seen as a danger because he disposed of Dumbledore. "

Petunia glared at her father-in-law and snarled, "I am almost tempted to go over there and cast the killing curse on him myself. I can see why so many powerful witches and wizards go dark. It is just too easy to fix problems the simple way."

"I quite agree with your analysis and can offer a different, viable alternative."

Petunia narrowed her eyes and observed the girl. "Do you want Harry to have final say in what happens to Albus or do we want to present him with _fait accompli_?"

Mercedes grinned showing small, even, white teeth. "My grand-mother's name was Nimue. I am a direct descendent of the Lady of the Lake. Among the family magicks is the ability to ensnare one's senses until they fall into a sleep from which they cannot awake without the aid of certain draughts. Those draughts are also a family secret."

Vernon looked across the room to where Albus was currently sitting at a table enjoying a meal while being surrounded by a dozen beautiful young women. He could not help the tear that slid down his cheek as he watched the old man. "When I was growing up the only thing I wanted in life was to please him so he would shower me with love and affection. Then when we were in that courtroom he freely admitted that he almost killed all of us with his liberal use of magic against us in his bid to maintain control of our lives. I wonder how much of that adulation was compulsion charms because I look at him now and see an old man who just uses others to stay in power. He practically killed my mother with his indifference; destroyed god knows how many others."

Petunia wiped the tear away before it could fall from his cheek. "You do not have to make the decision right now. You do not even have to make it by yourself. We are here for you."

Vernon straightened his spine and nodded his head. "Yes, I do have to make the decision now. This is the perfect time for Mercedes to go across the room and join the rest of the ladies at father's table."

He reached over and caught Mercedes's hand. "Thank you for the offer, and I accept it and give you full permission to ensnare him. I am prepared to meet with Duke Azkaban after the deed has been accomplished and will take full responsibility for the entire incident."

Mercedes rose on tip-toes and gave him a small kiss on the cheek, hugged Petunia, then turned and made her way across the room. Vernon's last view of his father awake was as Mercedes tempted him away from the crowds with the promise of viewing an arcane manuscript.

And the party continued…


	24. fait accompli

Disclaimers: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe and no money is being made from this story.

* * *

Getting Back to Azkaban

A/N: To all who read, put this story on watch, left reviews etc... Thank you all, I hope you enjoy this last chapter. I have enjoyed writing this but rather than drag it out with no purpose I am choosing to finish it.

Chapter 24: **_fait accompli_**

_Petunia glared at her father-in-law and snarled, "I am almost tempted to go over there and cast the killing curse on him myself. I can see why so many powerful witches and wizards go dark. It is just too easy to fix problems the simple way."_

_"I quite agree with your analysis and can offer a different, viable alternative."_

And that discussion changed the direction of the wizarding world for the next few hundred years.

It was an odd situation that Harry found himself in the next day when he inquired about the location of one Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. It wasn't that Harry actually wanted to see the man, he simply knew what Draco meant when he had said one should keep their friends close, but their enemies closer; he had paid a bit of attention. It would not be a bad thing to keep an eye on the old geezer.

He did not find the situation odd when he asked the question at eight in the morning and was told that Wizard Dumblydore was sleeping. He shrugged it off a few hours later even when he once again asked if Dumbledore was up. The old guy had been pretty tired last night after that long walk and light supper. At six that evening when everyone came back from the fox hunt and Albus still had not made an appearance, Harry called for a house elf to check on the situation.

The house elf popped back into the drawing room where everyone was beginning to assemble before dinner and quietly informed Harry that Wizard Dumbledore had drunk some sort of sleeping draught and was now totally dormant. When asked if it were the Draught of Living Death he had imbibed the elf was empathetic that whatever the old man had ingested it was nothing the elf had seen before.

'Not good!' was the first thought Harry came up with. The second thought was to call a meeting of his war council.

Petunia had been waiting anxiously all day for Harry to discover what had happened to Dumbledore and knew immediately that he had just been informed. She almost burst out laughing at the ridiculous face he made while thinking through his options. She knew she would have to tell him what they had done though; the last thing Harry needed was a situation where he would be held responsible without knowing the facts…

The formal dinner on Day 4 was a success. The house elves had outdone themselves with an excellent meal served on gleaming china and glittering crystal. The conversation ebbed and flowed amidst the chink of silver on china and the exchange of one course after another. At the end of the meal Harry and several of his guests thanked the servers and asked them to pass their compliments on to the elves who were working in the kitchen.

Then the work of dealing with Dumbledore began in earnest. Harry was rather surprised to be ushered into his 'ready room' by Petunia and Vernon before he could even explain what he needed help with this time.

Vernon waited until the door had been closed and Harry activated the privacy ward before speaking. He ran a hand across his moustache as he thought about how to say what he wanted to.

Petunia broke first. "Oh, for heaven's sake, Vernon, just tell him!" Shoulders thrown back, the defiance was visible in her posture, and Harry recognized her 'business' stance.

He smiled sadly at her, "I can assume that Dumbledore's repose is not of his doing?"

Vernon coughed to clear his suddenly dry throat then managed to regain his confidence. "No, his current state of heath is not of his choosing." He stopped for a second to glance at Petunia who nodded at him before speaking again. "We were watching him last night and it occurred to us that he would never let you alone until he had destroyed you and most of the wizarding world with you. We could not just stand there and do nothing so we were discussing just casting the killing curse on him to get him out of the way."

Harry was so shocked he did not know what to say. The only thing that came out was, "And?" Coherent speech really was beyond him at this point. Wonder actually showed in his eyes as he looked at his mother and her husband standing before him. His voice came out as a whisper almost, "You really would accept life in prison for me!"

He couldn't help but reach out and wrap his arms around Petunia in an emotionally fueled hug that probably would have turned into a crying session if Vernon had not rescued the moment. "Harry, you still need to be a little bit gentle with her even is she isn't complaining."

Harry shook his head at his uncle while giving Petunia one last gentle hug before stepping back. "Sorry, Petunia."

Petunia smirked at Vernon before carrying on with the explanation. "We were discussing killing him when one of the girls mentioned that she knew a potion that would allow him to sleep for several years before he would begin to deteriorate. " Then she snarled, "And since his brain was already gone we decided that his body should have the chance to also."

"Ok. I suppose the only thing left to do is call Madame Bones and have her and a few aurors come over so we can discuss the issues with her. I don't intend to hide his body and pretend he was never here. Too many people saw him here and everyone knows he was not welcome. Since he is not dead we cannot be arrested for murder…at least I don't think so."

The three of them soon left the room and went in search of Augusta Longbottom. If anyone would know how to put a spin on things it would be her. This was beyond even Marge and Draco brainstorming.

They finally found Augusta sitting in one of the ladies retiring salons. She had been joined by Neville and they were listening to a young witch play the pianoforte. Neville had a dreamy look on his face and Augusta could barely contain her smirk.

Harry's face showed his complete surprise as he made a quick motion of joining between Neville and the dementor known as Hezbeth DeWinter.

Augusta made a quick negating motion and went back to listening. Vernon seated Petunia and then claimed the seat beside her. Harry settled in on the other side of Petunia and waited for the concert to end.

Neville opened his eyes and looked around several seconds after the last note died away. Without further ado he stood up and bowed to the pianist. "Thank you so much for playing that piece for me, Grandmother." Then he ran laughing from the room as the girl stood and proceeded to storm out of the room after him.

Augusta smiled as she watched the stiff back stomping away. "That was Hezbeth DeWinter. She is, or was, one of the founding matriarchs of the Croaker line. She came to England with William the Conqueror as part of Matilda's retinue. She never wanted marry the Duke of Slytherin." Her face was a study of conflicting emotions as she continued, "Most of these girls didn't, but no one listened to them. When she had her baby and the child was not Slytherin's…" She shrugged. "Well, you saw what happened." Her old eyes glittered as she glared at Harry. "If I could get my hands on Salazar Slytherin I'd show him a thing or two about how to treat a woman."

Harry grinned as he held his hands out in front of him. "You get no argument from me. I personally want a woman who can return my affections."

For some reason everyone started laughing at that. It was common knowledge that at the fox hunt yesterday Harry had been coerced into changing into his thestral form and serving as mount for a fey-like blonde with a questionable grip on reality. It had been bloody hilarious to see the girl in question riding sidesaddle with reins in one hand while she clutched an arctic fox in her lap with the other.

The laughter released a bit of the tension and the four of them were soon deep in discussion of what to do about Dumbledore. Augusta agreed with Harry that they should firecall Amelia and report the unpleasant business. They decided that Vernon would explain that not being able to rouse Albus was a potion's accident- they assumed that the draught he requested had reacted badly to him having traces of Philosopher's Stone potion in his system. Mercedes would not be mentioned at all in conjunction with the incident.

* * *

Amelia was happy to visit the island even if it was not strictly social and soon took everyone's statements. She was still in a good mood from having been visited earlier in the day by Mrs. Cornelius Fudge. The two of them had taken tea together and discussed what was to be done now that Cornelius would be spending most of his time as a patient of the Janus Thackery ward in St. Mungo's. She was not the first bit discreet when she replayed the pensive memory of Buttercup Fudge telling her that it was about damn time Cornelius was put somewhere where he could not do anymore harm.

And so with the subject broached… Healers were summoned from St. Mungo's to verify that Dumbledore was in complete stasis. He was then taken back to London with them and that was the end of hearing from Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore hopefully…Except things never work out that well.

* * *

The house party drew to a close with no further excitement from the outside world. Friday morning, the 1st of September saw all the Hogwarts candidates flooing into the _Leaky Cauldron_ and then making their way through the shopping district. In addition to the regular students, sixteen of the dementors were of school age and would be returning.

The trip to Diagon Alley had gone well. There were a few incidents where the girls made mistakes but most of the shop keepers recognized the groups of students and made allowances…there was also the fact that representatives of the Duke of Slytherin was monitoring each group and always took appropriate action before the situation got out-of-hand.

While most everyone else spent Saturday getting everything organized for leaving, Harry spent the day with his Estate Overseer, Uncle Vernon, Remus and various others as he tried to get as many issues dealt with as possible before he left for school. Harry wondered if it would be worth it to have mind healers devote some time to assessing Cornelius Fudge's mental condition with the objective of healing him.

There were troubling questions that still needed answers and with Dumbledore and Fudge out of the picture the answers might not be so easily found. The reason behind the house elves being told not to serve the new duke was still a mystery. Voldemort was out there in his 'shade' form again. Most troubling though, was the fact that Harry was labeled as a Dark Lord. Why had Malfoy and his contingent expressed so much glee at the Wizengamot session regarding the return of the official Dark Lord?

Draco laughed as Harry threw himself down on an overstuffed loveseat in a fit of temper. "What has you so vexed, Slytherin?" He finally managed. "Could it be that there is more to being Duke than the obvious?"

Harry glared at him. "Draco, I have some thirty journals to go through and translate into English while trying to learn my duties. I think I should be allowed to be in a bad mood if I want to."

Dudley and Draco exchanged mildly amused looks before Dudley entered the fray. "Harry, you can bring the books to Hogwarts with us. Once the journals are transcribed the rest of us can help you break them down into relevant categories. From there we can make it work."

The rest of his team spoke at the same time what was fast becoming the new motto, "You're not alone anymore now that you're back in Azkaban!"

He could not help laughing with them. "Yes. It's good to be back in Azkaban!"

* * *

All the students leaving for Hogwarts met on the front lawn at ten o'clock in the morning on Sunday so that those who wanted to could attend Mass or other religious services. They were then loaded into thestral drawn carriages and driven over to other side of the island where Mr. Granger and Uncle Vernon had set up a helicopter pad. The students all entered the space-enhanced helicopter and after the elves loaded their luggage they were up and away.

By lunch time the group was back at Hogwarts and settled in the dorms. Harry just knew that things had gone too smoothly for there not to be trouble soon. His premonition was proven correct first thing Monday morning. Before he even received his sixth year schedule he had a copy of the Daily Prophet and it was not amusing.

Rita Skeeter had written all the front page articles. Her lurid headlines grabbed the attention of Britain as she asked the question: IS HARRY POTTER THE NEW DARK LORD? She went on to make several questionable inferences regarding the hereditary duties of Duke of Slytherin. She stated that both Fudge and Dumbledore had been removed from public service while enjoying the hospitality of Azkaban. She mentioned the dementors were really ladies laboring under a curse and blamed Harry for killing all but thirty-two of them. Rita left all of her readers with the question: Why did Slytherin see fit to completely destroy over thirteen hundred women when the wizarding world is so obviously desperate to rebuild our population.

Obviously it was going to be a long year…


	25. A New Year Begins

A New Year Begins:

Potions Master Snape was beyond furious at the sight of his Sixth Year NEWTs Potions class. Sitting in the front row were Crabbe, Goyle and Bulstrode. The second row consisted of Greengrass, Parkinson, Malfoy and Nott. The first words out of his mouth as he glared at Crabbe and Goyle were, "What in the name of Merlin are you two doing here?" Then he directed his glare to the others and added, "I know that Greengrass, Malfoy and Zabini were the only ones here to get an Outstanding in Potions in Slytherin, but why are the other candidates not here?"

Draco grinned as he watched his Godfather fumble around on his desk for the class schedule which was now sitting folded up in his pocket. He could not resist patting said pocket as the Potions Master began slamming papers around on the desk as his frustration began to build.

Goyle could not resist yanking his chain. "Sir, did you say this is Sixth Year NEWTs Potions? I was told that this was Remedial Potions for OWLs."

Snape whirled around to face the unfortunate lad. "You were told what?"

Goyle repeated his statement.

Daphne Greengrass glanced around confusedly at the rest of the class.

Draco caught her look and began giggling.

Theo decided to get things sorted. "What are you doing here, Malfoy?" He asked rather calmly. "It is a known fact that you got an Outstanding mark in Potions."

Draco's giggling became a full blown laugh as he gasped and slid down the seat. He finally managed to say, "The NEWTs Potion class is upstairs. I'm only here to make sure the rest of you know you may also attend today's lecture if Professor Snape agrees."

Daphne glared around at the rest of the Slytherins. "You mean to tell me that the invitation I received to attend Potions Master Granger's Lecture on medicinal plants was actually valid?"

Severus stalked over to her with his hand held out imperiously. "This invitation if you please?" He was beyond incandescent with rage.

Daphne's hand shook as she handed over the invitation.

The blood drained from Snape's face as he read the paper. Daphne Greengrass had been invited to join the Introduction to Mediwizardry: Emphasis on Herbology class. The class was a lecture based class with various labs being offered after each topic was covered.

The rest of the class soon had their bags in hand and were racing up the stairs to get to the Great Hall where the lecture was being held. They were very careful to stay behind Snape though as he stormed through the halls in a towering rage. The idiots who qualified to take Potions were going to be very sorry that they were not where they were supposed to be by the time he finished with them.

There had been twelve Outstandings on the Potions OWLs and only three had been Slytherin; Greengrass, Malfoy and Zabini. If the other nine thought they could bugger off they were wrong. Their arses belonged to him and he would make sure they stayed in NEWT Potions, not some pansy-arsed class called Introduction to Medi-Wizardry!

Severus had planned to have Draco and Blaise act as assistants to help the other Slytherins who wanted to continue on with Potions. He had almost agreed to let any students who had missed an Outstanding by five points or less into his class, but cancelled that line of thought when he checked the numbers and saw that Potter's Exceeds Expectations had missed being an Outstanding by three points. Tracy , Millicent and Theodore would have to do Independent Study and take their NEWTs without his help.

The walk up the stairs did not cool his temper and he flung open the doors with the intention of slamming them. His objective was to cause a major disruption and throw the lecturer off balance. It was the best plan he could contrive at the moment's notice.

The professor lecturing had some crazy equipment where seemed to be sliding plastic sheets over a light that caused a reflection to appear on a large cloth screen. Instead of jumping and panicking, she looked up and said, "Hogwarts, neutralize disruption." Then returned to her topic.

Severus Snape found himself sitting at a table in the back of the room with a stack of parchment and a biro in front of him. The students who had followed him were arrayed similarly.

The voice finally penetrated his haze of confusion and he settled back to observe. Her voice was well modulated and he found himself sinking into the topic. "Whatever and wherever the species, it is a good rule of thumb to collect medicinal plants where they are reasonably abundant and growing vigorously. Note, however, that growth lush to the point of overcrowding can alter the properties and strength of medical compounds. Furthermore, the same species' medicinal strength can vary from region to region and sometimes from one site to another within the same region. Other factors that can affect medical strength are the season and a plant's stage in its growth cycle. That is one reason why pharmacologists and other authorities on herbal medicine warn against gathering and using herbs for self medication."(Footnote 1)

The class ended with the woman saying, "Since today was the first lecture and most of us are still working out the kinks of your schedules I left the doors unlocked so late arrivals could enter. You will find that starting next lecture that late will no longer be an option." Her honey-gold glare sent Snape's way left him in no doubt that she was referring to his entry.

Severus looked around finally and noticed that all the students in the Sixth and Seventh Year who had an Acceptable in Potions was in attendance. And then he listened in horror as Longbottom and Goyle began discussing the point she had made regarding the difficulty of identifying a certain plant in a region where it was not native. Goyle was adamant that cross pollination could and would affect the characteristics that are typical. However, biological variation, the results of differences in genetic make-up of individual plants 'hybridization' would account for height, leaf size, flower color or any other characteristic. He almost lost his composure and gaped at the two boys as they continued to sit and discuss the lecture while adding further notes and drawings to their parchments.

The woman did not wait for Snape to regroup. She finished putting her equipment in her 'wheely-trunk' and strolled down the aisle between tables. "Potions Master Snape, it is an honor to have you attend my lecture. I do hope it was somewhat approaching your approval?"

He stood and glared down at the woman. He could probably list every Potions Master in the United Kingdom and rank them by talent. Whoever she was, he did not recognize her as such. Her claim to be a Master would bear looking into.

She saved him the trouble of asking who she was. "May I be so bold as to introduce myself, Sir?"

Severus automatically extended his hand and watched in complete fascination as she gently took his hand in both of hers and proceeded to thoroughly observe it. She went so far as to raise his hand to her mouth and after sniffing his wrist, she licked the sensitive area between forefinger and thumb.

Her concentration on his hand ended when his hiss of discomfort and slight jerking of the hand being examined broke the spell. She flushed lightly, but kept possession of his hand.

For some strange reason Severus felt safe enough to leave his hand in her possession. "You were about to tell me your name?" He inquired rather silkily. His obsidian gaze catalogued her features: long chestnut colored hair hung in a thick braid almost to her knees; a heart shaped, pale face; almond shaped eyes the color of old honey; and, a cupid's bow mouth. She was his idea of beautiful. She reminded him of someone…

Impossibly long lashes fluttered down to hide her eyes. A few seconds passed before she nodded to some internal thought. "Yes, I am Millicent Granger. I have masteries in both Potions and Medi-Wizardry. I have remained current in both fields and hope to remain here teaching for the foreseeable future."

Her name did not seem to mean much at this point. "You taught?"

Her infectious laughter had several students gravitating toward them as she admitted, "I was Head Girl Class of Hogwarts 1654. I then attended Cambridge Magical College of Medicine. After finishing my course of studies there I returned here and had the bad luck to attract the attention of one Duke of Azkaban. I did not know about the curse so I was caught completely off guard when I found myself kidnapped by the idiot and dragged off to his island. He certainly was surprised when I had my lady-in-waiting take my child to his father along with the information of what had happened to me."

His brain shut down. After blinking a few times he managed to mumble, "You are a dementor?"

Snape's hand was dropped and Millicent Granger stepped back from him. Then before either Snape or Millicent could think of a way around that particularly embarrassing moment Harry Potter stepped forard and began ushering Millicent away.

Hermione Granger, who had been walking with Potter, stopped and glared at Snape while hissing, "Oh, you're a dementor!"

Professor Snape noted that the Granger females' family resemblance was obvious up close. He was getting ready to speak when she launched into part two of her tirade.

"You really are a big, insensitive jerk. But, you knew that!" She took a deep breath and added, "What did you do, take classes in insensitivity?"

Her pose had Draco thinking about their latest batch of movies. He mouthed the word to Harry, "Broadzilla?"

Harry grinned at Draco and mouthed, "Turtle power!"

Snape's eyes opened wide as he beheld Hermione Granger in a fury. He had laughed off Draco's claim back in thier third year that she had a temper. Now that it was directed at him he found himself no longer capable of laughing off Granger's ire. Especially since he could not fail to notice Draco clinging to her right arm; an arm that a rather firm looking fist was anchored to.

Then before he could apologize, the woman had been escorted away and Snape was left standing there while his Godson and the rest of the Slytherin Ducal contingent glared at him. It was Dudley who finally broke them out of the moment. "Come on, Dray. Let's let Dr. Smooth here work on his presentation on how to pick up chicks while we go to Transfiguration."

Draco nodded. "Yeah! It's a good thing that blood adoption took with us. You get all of Harry's and my knowledge of the Wizarding world and I get to contemplate Posh Spice's navel." He licked his upper lip in a lewd manner while breathing deeply.

Neville looked at Draco, interest clear.

Blaise shook his head and directed Neville toward the Transfiguration room. "It does not take a genius to know that Draco has been watching movies again. Prolly that one where the Spice girls drive around in that big bus.

Snape took a few more seconds to gather his wits. He was capable of functioning after ten minutes of occluding before making his way back down to the Potions Lab where a group of Second Years were probably trashing the place.

He found it disquieting to make his way into the room and find every single student sitting at their own station paying attention as they quietly observed the Seventh Year Ravenclaw in his NEWT class demonstrate the difference between mincing and dicing while discussing ingredient preparation importance.

He sat in a seat at the back of the room and let the Ravenclaw finish his lecture. It was only as the student turned fully to face him that Snape saw the apprentice symbol his robe. "Mr. McDermitt, I was unaware that the Apprentice tradition had been reinstated. When did this happen?"

McDermitt bowed to him. "Master Snape, forgive me for intruding on your class. I have apprenticed with Master Granger. I approached her last week regarding an apprenticeship and after reviewing my package she approved me just this morning. She contacted me about an hour ago and explained that you were observing her lecture and might be late to this class and asked me to monitor it until you appeared. I saw your notes sitting out and followed them as precisely as I could "

Having explained, the Apprentice gathered his notes and made his way to the door. Before he could exit, Snape spoke.

"Might I use you again if I find myself in need of a monitor?"

McDermitt nodded. "Master Granger had encouraged me to spend time with you when I have free time and she is otherwise occupied."

The rest of the class period was taken up with brewing and Severus spent most of the time on automatic pilot as he corrected stirring techniques, and stopped a few minor accidents. Most of his thoughts were taken by the events of the last few months. He had not attended the Azkaban House Party, at first because his invitation had been mislaid, then because he was in a pique regarding receiving it late. Now he was missing several important bits of information.

The first free period he had he headed up to the Headmaster's Office. It was going to be strange seeing Minerva McGonagall sitting there dealing with issues that Albus used to handle. He had so many questions he felt he was likely to burst if something did not give soon.

She was going to have to call a staff meeting to explain all the changes that she had implemented in the last few days. Learning that Albus was as good as dead had freed up a lot of opposition to progress…

And that thought brought Severus Snape back to tear drenched honey gold eyes framed by thick black lashes and staring at him from a heart shaped too pale face. He sighed as he recalled that lovely little nose and a cupid's bow mouth that should have been smiling…

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not write canon, I do not make any money from this gig, and I do not envy JKR because her chapter on 19 years later is fanfiction almost as bad as Tara's...

Footnote 1. Magic and Medicine of Plants, Reader's Digest, p.27, Reader's Digest Assoc., Inc., 1986.


End file.
